


The Heart Pt 2

by The_Otter_Limits



Series: The Engine of the Universe [2]
Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:27:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 59,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24581530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Otter_Limits/pseuds/The_Otter_Limits
Summary: Kim and Trini continue to try to carefully navigate through their difficult home lives, busy schedules as superheroes in high school, and around their complicated feelings.At the same time, Trini discovers more about the bullying that's still haunting Kim.Is Rita's magic only waiting for the right moment?
Relationships: Kimberly Hart & Trini, Kimberly Hart/Trini, The various friendships btwn the 5, Their familes, Zack Taylor & Trini
Series: The Engine of the Universe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1471379
Comments: 89
Kudos: 291





	1. Snail Mail, Text, and Email; oh My!

**Author's Note:**

> Starts fluffy.  
> TAGS: Language, bullying/cyberbullying, homophobic language and slurs, triggering: hints of past self-harm (nothing explicit, described, or discussed), racism.
> 
> I had a whole thing written about how this was supposed to go out a week ago but it didn't feel right to post it but none of that matters, really.  
> #BlackLivesMatter

After Trini's impromptu (and highly successful) attempt at salvaging Diwali for Kim, something seemed to settle within the brunette. Some of the erratic electric impulsivity that sparked across her skin and made the hair on the back of Trini’s neck and arms stand up out of alarm dissolved like she’d been grounded and the dangerous extra energy had been bled off safely. The hurt from her parent’s dismissal of the holiday lingered but it was muted, soothed, and overruled by the happiness and sense of belonging that Trini had effortlessly given back to her. 

Read: she was too happy to let her parent’s shittiness ruin Trini’s thoughtfulness. 

Uncharacteristically, Kim decided not to dwell on their absence and focused on what she did have instead because honestly, she felt like she had a lot. 

She didn’t feel like she exactly deserved it but pushed that recurrent thought away as much as she could to enjoy the present moment for a change.

Kim had never experienced someone as… magical as Trini in her life. That’s how the girl seemed to Kim at times, magical. Trini somehow knew things Kim had never said out loud and/or the younger girl intuitively understood her on an unconscious level. Whatever it was that made it so easy for her to read the Pink Ranger made the taller girl nervous and yet, at the same time, made her feel worth something for a change. Worth being seen.

Like, at last, she mattered enough for someone to care about. That was magical and wonderous. Kim was surprised she wasn’t glowing from the way she was feeling. For a moment, jealousy raced through her because she knew this was how most people felt all the time, but it was gone as fast as it appeared. She had that feeling of worth now so why dwell on when she didn’t?

Not that she was putting her friend on a pedestal, or she was trying not to at least. It was hard not too when every time she turned around to hide her pain, Trini was there to soothe the ache. She couldn’t laugh it off or dismiss it either. Trini was too good, too sharp; she picked up on almost everything and addressed things even if Kim was being an ass.

Overall, Trini was going above and beyond anything Kim ever expected from her or a friend at all. That her actions appeared to be natural was another thing about Trini that astonished Kim; while she knew the effort was there, it seemed like Trini was breezing through all the bumps and bruises of being friends with her without trouble. And just when Kim would think she’d pushed or closed off too far and driven her friend away, Trini would send her a look or one of the rare gentle half-smiles that were only given to her, and Kim would know everything was ok. She might not be completely understood by Trini but she was accepted and that was more important.

Being around Trini and being friends with her made Kim feel good. The friendship raised her self-esteem but she knew it was unhealthy to put her sense of self-worth in someone else. Especially since she had a habit of ruining everything good that she had so a part of Kim was holding its breath waiting for her to screw up and chase Trini away.

Relying on Trini for her happiness and self-esteem would blow up then and leave her more empty than she was when Trini found her. And that was something Kim couldn’t afford to experience. 

Instead, Kim tried to focus on the fact that there was something about her that Trini found worthy of her time and she just had to uncover more of whatever that part of her was and nurture it. That way she’d still have something as a foundation to build back up from after her friendship with Trini went nuclear. 

Just the thought of that occurring made Kim sick. Still, she wondered what idiotic thing she’d eventually do to drive Trini away. 

“Whatcha thinking about?” Trini asked from the couch where she was sorting through a pile of snail mail Kim had let accumulate. It had been sitting on the side table just inside the door practically since she’d met Kim and it was driving her buggy. Plus, she couldn’t understand why the Harts hadn’t taken 10 minutes to do it when they were home.

 _Lazy, lazy people_ , she sneered internally. 

That was before she realized a lot of the mail was people selling things, looking for donations, looking for backing for their inventions/projects, and catalogs from places where Trini bet they’d bought most of their housings and furniture. Very little of the mail was personal or what Trini considered important. 

_It’s just a pile of people begging for money_ , she realized with disgust. Not one of the envelopes had to be opened for Trini to know its contents. She learned all this just from the outside of the envelopes which blared messages like SUPPORT NEEDED, PROJECT NEEDS BACKERS, and AMAZING OPPORTUNITY to INVEST. 

_Mo’ money, mo’ problems, as they say,_ Trini decided with a shrug. _Or just more vultures trying to pick you clean when you’re still breathing. Geesh._

A yellow envelope suddenly stood out to her. 

“Oh hey, this one’s for you,” she held it up. “It’s an actual card, I think. From Canada.”

“Ooo gimme,” Kim took the envelope and ripped it open. A few seconds later, she smiled and laughed. 

“It’s a card from my Nana,” she explained. “Dad’s Mum. It’s wishing me a Happy Diwali and she makes a promise to ‘smack that boy upside his arse with a wooden spoon for skipping the holiday’ with me.” Kim had switched to a new accent Trini was unfamiliar with to imitate her Nana; it wasn’t what Trini had expected but it was homey and soft.

“The thing is, though, she’ll do it,” Kim finished with another laugh. “And send pictures.” 

Trini instantly loved Kim’s Nana.

“She’s a bit of a no-nonsense lady,” Kim said fondly. The happy and open expression on her face was beautiful and a correlating burst of happiness skated across the Ranger link. 

Trini wished that she saw that expression more often.

“Come to think about it, the two of you would probably get along really well.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. Neither of you can stand bullshit and are direct but not mean about it. Among other things,” Kim nodded. “You’re both overprotective of me.” She smirked at Trini to take any sting from her words and to let her know she was just playing. 

“You’re right; I like her already,” Trini sassed back. Kim laughed again and walked away to finish the light dusting she did once a week to maintain the downstairs. It was boring busywork but it needed to get done; she appreciated that Trini didn’t mind keeping her company some of the afternoons that she did it. 

_It can’t be fun to watch your friend clean their house_ , Kim knew. It was an effort to prevent Trini from helping too much. There was no way Kim was going to hand off her chores to her friend. A little help was fine, but she had done them herself without any help for a few years now; she could keep doing them alone.

Trini usually found little jobs for herself to do, like today’s mail sorting when she sensed she was pushing at Kim’s boundaries where household chores were concerned. The older girl was adamant that Trini didn’t help too much and while Trini didn’t mind helping, she understood where Kim was coming from. 

Plus, she’d heard the snide comments whispered at Kim or in general about Kim using her like hired help- either to clean or, and this one made Trini livid, she was being paid to be Kim’s friend. She’d heard Harper hiss it under her breath in PE class a few weeks ago and it had stuck underneath Trini’s skin like a splinter, just irritating enough to be unsettling. 

_“At least I don’t have to pay people to be my friend…”_

There hadn’t been time to confront the idiotic blonde about the comment before the locker room cleared out and the last thing Trini ever wanted to do was have a one-on-one discussion about anything with Harper. 

Wearing a dress was more appealing than speaking, willingly, to Harper Grant. 

Trini hated wearing dresses. They made her feel vulnerable and exposed, literally. Naked from the waist down. But that feeling was still more desirable than breathing the same air as the racist and homophobic cheerleader. 

“I’m pretty sure she likes you,” Kim hummed from down the hall.

The comment made Trini blush. “You’ve mentioned me to her?” she asked in a squeak.

“Duh, you’re my best friend, of course, I’m gonna talk about you to my grandmother,” Kim scoffed like it was silly for Trini to even ask. “Who else am I gonna talk about? Zack?” 

“Ah…” Trini was at a loss. 

“If it bothers you, I’ll try not to mention you again,” Kim offered as she stood in the entryway of the left hallway. She shrugged nervously. “I didn’t think it was a big deal…”

“It’s not,” Trini rushed to reassure her. “Totally not. I was just surprised.”

Kim looked unconvinced. “Are you sure? Did I cross a boundary of some sort?”

“No! Not at all! It’s just… you’re not like, I dunno what I’m trying to say,” Trini admitted. “I’m surprised you’d tell your Nana about me, cuz you haven’t told me much about your Nana.” She finished the comment quietly hoping that Kim understood it wasn’t an accusation. The truth was that Trini was delighted Kim found her important enough to talk about with more of her family even if it was embarrassing to think about what Kim was saying.

“Just don’t make me seem like some sort of weirdo cuz I like hanging out with you,” she gruffed when a smile spread across Kim’s face. 

“She already thinks that,” she cheeked, “but if you want to hear about my Nan sometime then I’ll talk about her. Amanda and Harper didn’t care and brushed me off whenever I mentioned my family. I think it’s just normal for me not to mention things like that now.”

 _Which is also why no one knows you’re living alone_ , Trini thought darkly. 

“I’ll work on being more open with you,” Kim vowed, “but it goes both ways. I know nothing about your abuelas.”

Trini rolled her eyes. “Oh my God, which one? Dad’s Mom is pretty cool but Mom’s is… well, Mama learned her anti-gay bullshit from somewhere.” Kim winced. “Only multiply it by 10 since she’s ultra rooted in the Church compared to Mom.”

“God, how is that possible?” Kim wondered. 

Trini made a face thinking of her bisabuela. “She manages. She’s never liked my Dad, either."

“What?”

“Yeah, she thinks that my Mom degraded herself by even dating him, nevermind marrying him,” the younger girl went on. “Calls him too Americanized. His family isn’t as devout or strict about traditions like Mom’s is and not everyone on Dad’s side speaks Spanish which is some sort of high-crime to her.” She gave a pouty look to Kim. “I get lectures on how bad my Spanish is every time we visit her.” 

“I think you speak it just fine,” Kim said from down the hall.

“You don’t speak it at all so how would you know?”

“I speak a little,” Kim defended. Trini scoffed at her and then said something in Spanish that Kim couldn’t follow. “Ok, nevermind.” In retaliation, she complimented Trini’s soft hair and beautiful eyes in Gujarati. After all, the other girl would never know what she said.

“OK, ok, stop,” Trini laughed. “I said for you to prove it by translating what I said. What did you say?”

“I said ‘You’re not so smart; I can do that too, see’?” Kim fibbed as she walked back into the kitchen. “Wait, I forgot about these,” she grabbed a small pile of mail from the counter. “These made it all the way to the kitchen the other day before I abandoned them.” She dropped them on the other girl’s lap.

“This is a lot of mail,” Trini pointed out. “Aren’t you worried you’ll miss something?”

“Meh,” Kim replied blandly. “I usually take my stuff out and get to the rest eventually. But as you can see by now, it’s nearly all junk.”

Trini nodded. “Looks like it’s all just people begging for money.”

“Yeah, my parents do their important stuff over email and Skype. All their attorneys and accountants and staff know that so things that arrive in the mail are usually not important.”

“Makes sense,” Trini had to admit. “Plus, people begging for money all the time’s gotta be annoying.”

“Probably. Well, yeah it can be,” Kim added after a moment of thought.

There was a story, or maybe a few behind that comment, and Trini wanted to hear them.

“I’m thirsty; want anything?” Kim asked.

Recognizing the deflection and not wanting to seem like she was constantly forcing Kim to tell her all her terrible stories any time they were together, Trini nodded. “Tea, please.”

“OK.”

On the couch, Trini flipped through the new letters Kim had handed her until her own name caught her eye.

_Who is sending me mail here? What the hell?_

It was an official-looking letter, postmarked priority mail and had to have just arrived within the last day or so. 

She opened it tentatively and then just stared at the contents. After a moment, she found her voice again.

“Kim?”

“Yeah?”

Wetting her dry lips, Trini tried not to sound as confused as she felt. There was no note. “Uhm, why did I get a certified check for $500 from your parents?”

Intrigued, Kim walked close and looked over Trini’s shoulder down at the check. In the MEMO area, it read: Kim/Diwali. 

She snorted in derision. “It’s their version of ‘thank you’ for making sure I still got to celebrate Diwali. Typical.” 

Trini needed a moment to let that settle in. On one hand, she had piles of mail from people begging for money while on the other she has a check she never asked for. Nor imagined. 

Nor wanted.

“I’m not sure if I’m more insulted because they think I need to be paid for it,” she started slowly, irritated, “or that they think them skipping Diwali with you was only worth $500.” Wincing when she realized how greedy that might have sounded, Trini quickly added, “But I don’t want their money, either way. Here,” she held out the slip of paper to Kim, “tell them 'thank you' and all but I don’t work like that. I don’t need to be bought.” 

_Besides, the way she smiled the whole night was more than worth it_ , Trini thought.

Hugging the smaller girl loosely around the neck, Kim took the paper. “I’ll tell them but I doubt they’ll listen. They’ll just send another one to your parents with a letter explaining what it’s for.”

Trini rolled her eyes and groaned. “I don’t need that. My Mom will probably twist it into something nasty. Oh God, like that whole delusional ‘Kim does child porn’ rant she went on.”

“OK, that was insulting,” Kim pointed out. “Funny in hindsight but still insulting.”

“Yeah, it was. In context, sending me money isn’t as bad but I still can’t accept it. Especially since I didn’t spend a fifth of this. I was doing something I wanted to do, that I thought of and wasn’t asked to do. You know, just being a friend?”

“Yeah, I know.” Well, she didn’t but she was slowly learning about true friendship through Trini’s actions. “It’s how my parents are. I’m sorry,” Kim apologized. “My advice is to keep it and cash it, honestly. But I’ll talk to them and tell them not to do it again.”

“Yeah, seriously,” Trini agreed. She was insulted both for herself and Kim. “You don’t have to apologize for them either. I get it.” She looked at the check which Kim had given back. “This is just too much; I don’t need to be bought.”

“And I love that about you,” Kim said. She then blushed red and tried to hide it by flopping onto the armchair in dramatic fashion, throwing one arm over her face. “Alas, my parents think money can fix all and throw it around like I’m a stripper.” She stopped and made a face.

Trini made a sound like a wrong buzzer. “Try again.” That was just unpleasant imagery.

Kim cleared her throat and started again. “... and throw it around like confetti in a parade instead of actually putting any effort into doing anything for me. Better?”

“Much.”

“Yeah, so, it’s their thank you. Do what you want with it. Hey, you can frame it and title it ‘The 1st time the Harts tried to buy me off for being Kim’s friend’!” There was a bitter aftertaste to Kim’s words that hung in the air like heavy perfume. “Or you could open an account just for it and see how much they end up pouring into it in order to keep you around.” 

Trini was not as amused and grumbled her displeasure under her breath as she put the check in her wallet. “I’d slap them both just for trying.”

“Mmmm,” Kim hummed non-committedly and went back into the kitchen. 

Trini frowned. “You know I don’t have to be paid to be your friend, right? And that no one who does need to be paid is really a friend?”

“Yeah, sure,” Kim nodded. “Trust me, I know money doesn’t buy loyalty or friendship; I was friends with Amanda and Harper, remember? Who do you think paid for their happy little ho outfits, paid their car payments, and kept them up-to-date with the newest smartphones and whatnot?”

Trini glared.

“They’re not as well-off as they pretend, especially Harper. There’s nothing wrong with that but she’s a...” Kim snapped her fingers trying to find the right word.

“Mooch, leech, suck up, sponge, user?” Trini offered. “Those are my Christian offerings. Wanna hear my other ones?”

Kim laughed. “No, I’ve heard your creative swears to describe them both before. But yeah, mooch and leech are the best fit but so are both her parents so the apple hasn’t fallen far and all that.” 

“Uggg, I don’t wanna know about whatever creatures spawned Herpes Simplex Harper,” Trini groaned. 

“Me either. Hungry?”

“Yeah. You mean you’re gonna cook?” Trini teased. “Not just dial the phone and call for food? Wow.”

“Yes, I was going to make you something to eat but if you want to keep being a smart-arse then go right ahead. I’ll eat in front of you and you’ll be jealous and drool over my deliciousness.”

 _Oh, too late Princesa only it’s not your food I drool over._ Trini immediately felt a sense of guilt for her hormonal reaction but her crush on Kim was unrelenting. She would honestly be surprised if Kim wasn’t aware of it by now. _At least she’s nice enough to not say anything. God, I’d die of embarrassment._

_Then again, her Dad made it seem like this crush isn’t one-sided._

Lost in using her showboat melodramatics, Kim completely missed her slightly suggestive comment and went on about how jealous Trini would be if she wasn’t allowed a bite of what Kim was preparing.

Trini clamped down on her lewd and sarcastically giggling imagination. 

“Awww please, Princess? Make something for me?” she played along, enjoying Kim’s happy mood. They had been talking about a sore subject for a moment but apparently Kim had already moved on from it which Trini saw as a good thing. The distraction from how beautiful Kim looked in the late afternoon sunlight was good too. 

“Since you asked so nicely,” Kim decided. “I won’t poison it.”

“Gosh, thanks,” Trini snarked. “Since I didn’t poison you at Diwali.”

A spark of delight came over the link at the reminder of what she’d done for Kim. It wasn’t her intention to invoke that reaction but it made Trini feel good to know she was successful in helping her friend celebrate something that was important to her. 

“No you didn’t; everything was delicious,” Kim complimented her. She only wished that the leftovers had lasted longer but with Ranger metabolism, it was gone pretty quickly. It turned out Trini hadn’t been half bad at making the Indian treats and Kim hadn’t known until then how much she was missing some of the flavors she associated with both Diwali and her mother’s cooking. 

Maddy had never spent much time at home but when she did she enjoyed cooking and baking. The scents of the different traditional foods that Maddy had grown up with and that she cooked for Kim and Ted had left a positive impression on her daughter. They had developed into comforting smells and tastes to her. They were associated with the times her parents were home, times that were objectively her happiest (when she was younger), and where she felt the most whole.

It was another reason she looked forward to Diwali as much as she did; her mother cooked amazing dishes every day that she was home for it. The dishes and flavors were the only other ties to her mother’s heritage since they didn’t speak to that side of the family that often. Maddy’s family wasn’t happy with her life choices so they’d virtually cut her off aside from visits when Kim was younger. But even then, as young as she was, she’d been able to pick up on the waves of dislike that came from her older relatives and was directed at her and her father. They weren’t subtle and while Maddy could stay with her parents, Kim and Ted were made to stay in a hotel.

Which was more than fine with them.

But those visits ended when she was about 12 and some sort of argument went off between her mother and her great-grandfather. Kim had been shuffled out of the house by her father when the argument started, something to do with family obligations but Kim wasn’t paying attention. They left India that night, a few days early and her mother was in a horrible mood for close to a month.

They never visited again and no one made the effort to visit them. 

She’d meant it when she’d told Trini that it was just how her mother was. Maddy’s family treated her coldly and only dealt with her from a distance; why would she treat her own child any differently?

“My brothers loved the fudge. Matty ate so much he got a stomach ache and had to lay down,” Trini chuckled.

“Oh no!” Kim lamented although she could understand the boy’s dilemma; the Mohanthal had been delicious. 

“Yeah. Yeyo got hyper so my Dad took him outside to practice goal shots for soccer to burn it off,” Trini told her.

Kim smiled. “It is silly that them liking it so much makes me so happy? Like, thanks to you I was able to share one of my favorite treats from Diwali and that they loved it so much is like, making me giddy?”

“No,” Trini said easily. “I mean, I like sharing the stuff I grew up with with you and that’s the same thing.”

“It makes you giddy?” Kim teased brightly.

“Phhh,” Trini scoffed, “giddy isn’t in my emotional range.”

“Ok sure,” Kim chuckled, “as long as you don’t think I’m weird or something… weirder than usual, close your mouth, smart arse.”

“Very accent and arse-y in here today,” Trini teased back. She made sure she kept her tone sounding as pleased as she was at the fact that Kim’s accent was full and strong, how the older girl should likely sound. Trini was thrilled that that wall seemed to have fallen and Kim reverted to her natural accent as much as she did when it was just the two of them. 

She felt kind of honored. And the thrill of sharing this secret with Kim didn’t hurt either.

Gathering supplies to make them lunch, Kim smirked and bit her tongue. 

_But what a fine arse you have, my dear,_ she thought cheekily. 

“She’s nasty, gassy, and all-around assy,” Kim chuckled.

“WHAT?”

Kim snorted. “Not you. Sorry. It’s something me and Amanda used to say about Harper when her back was turned. You know, typical bitch stuff.”

“Oh, it’s about Halitosis Harper? Then I want to hear it! Share!” Then, she added, “I promise I won’t, like, use it on her at school or let her know what you tell me.”

Kim poked out of the kitchen to meet Trini’s eye for a moment. “I know.” 

“Sweet.”

“So, Harper has that thing where a kid has been led to believe that they’re more talented or smarter than their peers.”

“Ah-ha, yeah.”

“Your tone tells me you considered me one of those at one point,” Kim pointed out after hearing a slight nervous hitch to Trini’s voice.

“I didn’t know you,” Trini defended softly. “Come on, be fair. I know that’s not you. Shit, it couldn’t be further from you. It’s annoying how good you are at things sometimes.”

Internally, Kim winced. She hated it when people said things like that. Were some things easier for her than for others? Yes, occasionally, but that didn’t negate the work she put in, the genuine blood, sweat, and tears she put into things like gymnastics and cheerleading. The long hours, the lost sleep, lost friends who weren’t in that circle, the pressure and stress. It’s all forgotten under the false idea that ‘it’s just natural’ or luck. Natural talent did help but it didn’t do all the work.

Not to mention, and it was never something she brought up, she’d started at a severe disadvantage to start with. As a sick and fragile premature baby, everything hadn’t been easy or natural for her at first. Everything Kim was good at or was a natural at she’d worked for in some way. 

“Yeah well, looks can be deceiving,” she tossed back. Trini hummed thoughtfully. “Anyway, Harper wants to be famous and she doesn’t really care how she gets that way. She imagines herself as this ‘undiscovered talent, an unpolished diamond just waiting for the right Svengali to teach her how to shine’. Her words, not mine.”

Trini’s distaste showed on her face. “Does she have any actual talent to back that up?”

“Not a bad dancer,” Kim said honestly. “Not to the point where she’d be famous for it or something but I bet she could work as a decent choreographer. No Fosse but possibly slightly above average.”

“Wow, is that a compliment for Histrionic Harper?”

“Mmmm,” Kim hummed, “credit must be given where it’s due, I suppose. But other than that she can’t carry a tune in a bucket or play an instrument of any sort. She tried to play the flute but couldn’t blow hard enough to make a sound come out.”

“That sounds like a personal problem,” Trini snickered.

“Doesn’t it though? And she had this little dance and shake, kinda like a personal cheer she did to boast about herself. It was pretty lame. I mean, there was a reason we never let her write our cheers alone. She’s not all that creative or original.”

“Ha! Ain’t that the truth,” Trini remarked snidely.

“It was completely cringe-worthy so I tuned it out,” Kim continued. “Amanda and I had our own stupid rhyme for her. ‘She’s nasty, gassy, and all-around assy’. Not the cleverest but it made our shallow asses laugh.”

The disappointed tone in her voice was lighter than usual but still there.

“It’s lame but to the point,” Trini offered. “I like it!” she declared a moment later. 

“I’m not surprised,” Kim grinned as she made their food.

“Gassy, huh? Is that figurative cuz if not, HA!”

“Oh my God, Trini, you don’t even know!” Kim roared in laughter. “But of course, her shit doesn’t stink so she blames someone else.”

“Figures,” Trini giggled. Still, the whole thing was hilarious. Sitting on the couch, she grabbed the remote and turned on the huge, nearly cinema-sized television and flipped around through the endless channels. 

_Of course, there’s nothing on. How is that possible? Every channel under the sun and I’ve already seen a lot of it. I need to get out more._

On the nearby coffee table, Kim’s phone chirped with a new message.

“Phone!” Trini called to let Kim know.

“Ignore it! Be done in a few minutes or so. Be prepared for deliciousness!”

It was too late; Trini had already leaned forward to make sure it wasn’t one of Kim’s parents trying to contact her. She’d only meant to read the sender but the way Kim had her phone set up, a preview of the message appeared on screen instead of having to open the phone to read it.

Immediately, she scowled at the partial message displayed.

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

**A-** U had ur week off

We’re back bitch 

_What the hell is this? Were their ears burning or something?_

It was apparently a group text between the three former friends. It didn’t make sense to Trini not to block the other girls’ phone numbers after what went down. She certainly would have but that was her. She didn’t have the same sort of sense of self-hatred that Kim did that would move her to keep people like Amanda and Harper on her phone.

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

**A-** You gonna answer us… 

**H-** Or keep being a cowa… 

_This isn’t a new thing?_ Trini realized darkly. _What? Is it every Thursday? Wednesday? Why?_

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

**H-** RU dead yet? 

No 1 will care if u r

_Excuse you? Oh, you’re gonna pay for that one. A lot of people would care, especially me. I doubt many would miss you, Hellspawn Harper._

Although doing so was an incredible invasion of privacy, Trini wished she could get into Kim’s phone and delete the messages before they were read. She could only glare at the offending object and sit and stew in anger as the bitchy cheerleaders who used to be Kim’s best friends continued their reign of terror against _her_ best friend. 

The possibility and dawning realization that this has likely been happening all this time and Kim had hidden it hit Trini hard. Not that she was upset at Kim for not saying anything; one step at a time and the fact that it was a regular weekly thing but she left her phone with Trini said a lot. No, it bothered her that she hadn’t noticed and more than that, that Kim’s old friends were still punishing her in such a private way. At school was one thing, Amanda and Harper were hard to avoid but Kim wasn’t even safe at home unless she turned off her phone. Something she couldn’t do with her parents away.

The phone chirped again. Frustrated, Trini picked it up off the table and held it in her lap trying to stifle the chime so maybe Kim wouldn’t catch on.

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

**H-** Bitch I wish ur dead

Hanging lik a pinata

*pinata emoji*

Rage flowed through Trini at the messages. She had to clamp down on the Ranger link hard to keep it from bleeding too far or too strongly into it. 

_You were her friends! What the fuck is wrong with these two that they think this is ok to send? Kim messed up but telling her to kill herself is too much. Some of this shit has eased at school; they don’t dare touch our shared locker but they’re hunting her down to keep bothering her! They have to know Kim’s unsteady already; this is dangerous! What is wrong with people?_

A flash of panic about what seeing the messages might do to Kim’s mental state made Trini’s entire body go cold. 

_Noooo! She’s doing better! Why can’t we catch a fucking break?_

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

**A-** Shes just kidding

_Well, at least Amanda’s not totally lost._

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

**H-** No im not

I hate you bitch

_Fuck you too, puta and if you k_ _eep sending these messages I’m gonna make you wish_ you _were dead,_ Trini vowed darkly. She’d make sure to put the fear of many, many Gods into the unpleasant girl.

There was a pause in the messages and Trini held out a small hope that Amanda was telling Harper to back off.

Shortly after, however, the vile messages started again. 

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

**H-** I hate that ur still…

_I hate that you exist, bitch._ Trini grumbled softly as she thought, distressed and angry. _We’re gonna have a long, private chat if I can arrange it._

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

**A-** Ur hair looks like sh… 

Ur face is too fat for… 

**H-** u look like a pig in a...

Kimmy the Piggy

Oink oink *pig emojis*

 **A-** seriously u eat all th… 

Shoving food in ur m…

I've warned u it shows… 

**H-** Fat ass

_Doing this to someone who you know has an issue with food and their appearance is fucking repulsive._

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

**H-** how do you live w…

Ur evil ur a bad fri… 

**A-** how do u sleep at n…

_Not well but it has nothing to do with you_ , Trini scowled. _Or does it? Shit, probably. Man, it comes at her from all directions. I’d go insane!_

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

**A-** do ur new friends kn… 

the person you are?

Does ur little shadow… 

Ur dirty little secrets?

 **H-** We know them!

Want us to tell the dy… 

Bet she’d run far awa… 

_You don’t know shit about me or any clue what loyalty means._

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

**A-** u wud disgust her

u know its true

Ur pathetic & such a b… 

**H-** worthless bitch!

_Do you two not have actual lives or are you just sitting around, having a fucking laugh while you keep hurting Kim? Is this what you do for fun? Sick fucks._

Anger at Harper and Amanda was growing into a unique sort of insulted rage Trini hadn’t experienced before but it fit the situation to her. She was insulted at the things the cheerleaders were saying to Kim, threatening to expose the secrets they knew. It was such a violation of trust that it made the Latina’s blood boil.

_I wanna hear Kim’s stories, good or bad, from Kim, not these two lunatics. Jesus, no wonder she’s had such a problem opening up to me or trusting me- these two broke whatever sense of trust Kim still had._

Her mind reminded her that Kim wasn’t innocent in this but it didn’t matter; this continued punishment went too far. It was getting to the point where it was more mentally and emotionally damaging than the nude photo scandal was to Amanda. In Trini’s opinion. 

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

**H-** does ur dyke no about… 

**A-** Harper don’t

  
  


Trini’s eyebrows raised. Whatever the hidden part of the message was it was bad enough for Amanda to type the reprimand out when she was probably standing next to Harper. 

_Or Amanda went to the bathroom and Harper took advantage or something. Shit, are they capable of going to the girl’s room alone? They’re together more than Kim and I are; it’s a wonder no one talks about them._

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

**H-** shut up Amanda

“Ooooo,” Trini said gleefully. Getting them to fight amongst themselves would be ideal. She just wished she had either girls’ numbers to rile them up some more at each other.

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

**H-** I'm guna tell her all ab… 

U only did it for attent… 

2bad u didnt cut deepe…

Amanda was curiously silent.

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

**H-** Atention whore

Whore

_Wait, what? Tell me about what? It’s none of your business to tell me shit!_

Still, Trini’s mind was sent on a twirl by the half-messages. It didn’t take much of a leap in logic to know what Harper was insinuating. 

_Too bad you didn’t cut deeper?_ Trini took a deep breath to attempt to calm her racing heart. _I know I can’t ask Kim about it at this point. We’re not quite_ that _close and I swear if one of these two bitches starts taunting her about whatever this is or my phone starts blowing up or they come at me at school to tell me this, I’m gonna get violent._

_Someone’s nose is gonna get broken and their throat punched._

A corner of her mind flashed the memory of the day Kim handed her the towel in the Ship’s shower room. The way the light had glanced over Kim’s wrist and illuminated the various scars she kept hidden with clever makeup. 

_Too deep? It must be that long scar…_

She shook her head. _No, I won’t assume anything until Kim tells me. Damn you two monsters! I worry enough without you putting shit in my head._

Her blood pressure had skyrocketed but not just with anger at Kim’s former friends; worry over her best friend’s mental health and safety had added to her stress.

“You’re sending stress and alarm into the link, Trin,” Kim called from the kitchen. “Everything ok? I can hear my phone…”

Trini winced and tried again to dampen the empathic link. “Yeah, no, just reading the news on my phone and getting irritated. I think period hormones are making me crankier than usual.”

In the kitchen where Trini couldn't see her, Kim rolled her eyes. 

_You’re such a shit liar sometimes, Trin. I can hear my phone going crazy and know what it means. Great, now she knows._

On the couch, Trini tried to come up with an excuse as to why Kim’s phone was in a million pieces in the event that the abuse kept coming in. If it did, she was going to crush the phone. She’d give anything to keep Kim from reading the mean messages.

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

**H-** u did it on purpose

 **A-** Poor sad Kim 

Nobody luvs her

 **H-** not even ur dyke frie… 

_I have a name you brain dead anal troll!_

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

**H-** were guna tell her all… 

Every little secret

So u have no friends… 

**A-** u dont deserve friend… 

u dont deserve happin…

 **H-** were guna destroy u

_Not if I get my hands on you first._

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

**A-** *poop emoji*

_Mature and original. How the fuck do you two sleep at night?_

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

**H-** no1 cares about u

 **A-** Not ur parents

No 1 @ school

 **H-** Not even ur lil dyke 

“No one will find your bodies,” Trini growled. “I’ll bitch slap you both out into orbit with Rita. See if I’m still little then.” The insult to her size was worse than the dyke insult in her mind. Plus, the slur was the only ammo the duo had against her and she’d long since gone numb to it. 

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

**H-** Answer us bitch!

 **A-** What? UR 2 good 4 us… 

_She always was, losers. It’s about time you caught on._

**Harp & Mandi (bitches be trippin)**

H- Or ru w her now?

Gettin ur pussy licked

Fagoot dyke

Trini threw her hands up in exasperation. “How did your spell check not catch that?” 

“Lemme guess, Amanda and Harper?” Kim asked as she walked in on Trini trying to kill her cell phone with just the power of her glare. 

Trini lamely tried to hide the phone behind her back and under her thigh.

“What were you gonna do? Never give it back?” 

Trini pouted, which was adorable, and took the green tea Kim offered her. 

“Don’t make me come after it.” After a beat, when Kim left her hand out in expectation, Trini reluctantly returned the cell. “Besides, I know it’s them; I could hear it going off from the kitchen. My parents never text like that and the only person who sometimes does is sitting on my couch.” She smiled brightly at her friend. “You’re here with me and the guys would never text me constantly like that. Jason would just call.”

“Stupid cheer-bitches,” Trini grumbled, folding her arms over her chest. 

Glancing through the messages Kim sighed and shot Trini a look. “How much did you read?” she asked hesitantly as she put the phone back down on the table and handed Trini her plate of food.

“Just what the previews show,” the younger girl answered honestly. “Enough, I guess.” With a shrug, she lowered her head. That she’d read the messages at all filled her with shame.

_I invaded her privacy without meaning to, but still._

Kim looked stricken.

“I’m sorry. Please don’t let them bother you,” Trini begged softly. “They’re assholes who don’t matter. And whatever I might have read? I’ll wait for you to be comfortable enough to tell me. I won’t believe anything they say unless you tell me it’s true. I swear.” 

Kim let out a long breath; her former friends were blasting yet another deep, dark secret that she kept to herself and wasn’t ready to share with Trini. Yet. Probably not soon though. It was one of Kim’s darkest moments and she wanted to protect Trini from that darkness as much as possible.

“Thanks,” she swallowed thickly.

“No problem,” Trini answered smoothly. “What is going on with those two morons, though? The messaging.”

“This? Eh, I’ve been putting up with it since the whole thing started.” Trini’s eyes narrowed at the news. “Don’t get upset; it’s not a big deal.”

“Bullshit. It’s one thing to do this at school but bugging you at home is ridiculous.”

Kim disagreed. “It’s not that bad.” Trini shot her a look. “At this point, it’s been going on so long that it’s just ‘same shit, different day’, you know? I’m rather numb to it.”

“Then change your number,” Trini protested gently.

“I tried that, it didn’t work. Someone ratted me out. I don’t know who but I know it’ll just happen again if I bother to change it again so…” Kim shrugged it off.

“Just because they do it every day doesn’t mean that you have to put up with it or that it doesn’t hurt,” the smaller girl argued. 

Kim nodded her agreement. “Yeah, it stings, as it should. I did a bad thing; punishment follows that. It’s how life works. I’m not an innocent victim here.”

“This is wicked out of proportion for the crime, Kim.” 

“Not really, if you think about it.”

**CHIRP**

“Grr. Constantly being told to kill yourself is going a little far.”

“Eh, they don’t mean it.”

Trini wasn’t so sure. As a matter of fact, she was fairly sure that Harper wanted Kim dead.

**CHIRP**

“Don’t look.”

“Wasn’t going to.” Taking a huge bite from one of the sandwiches she’d just made, thus proving to Trini she could feed herself outside of a phone app, Kim took out her History homework to get some of it done. Over the course of the next few minutes, the phone continued to chime.

**CHIRP**

**CHIRP**

**CHIRP**

“Are they usually this bad?” Trini asked incredulously. 

Kim looked at the clock. “Hmmm,” she hummed. “It’s Wednesday so they’ve got cheer practice and right now they’re on a hydration break. Typical Wednesday afternoon. At least they took last week off because while she’s an unholy bitch, Amanda still has a shred of decency left.”

“How so?” Trini asked, incredulously. 

“She knew it was Diwali. I didn’t talk much about my religious beliefs and stuff to them, especially when Harper was around. She didn’t care what my heritage was, just what I was going to buy or do for her.” 

Trini growled.

“But when it was just me and Amanda, sometimes we were actual friends, you know? And we’d talk about the stuff we couldn’t when Harp was around. So she knows Diwali is important to me even if she doesn’t understand what it is. There was none of this bull last week except for maybe 3 texts from Harper telling me that just because Amanda felt like giving me a break didn’t mean she did but those stopped. I’m pretty sure Amanda took her phone, to be honest.” 

Trini was impressed as well as surprised that Amanda would care that much when there was so much venom coming from her most of the time.

“They’re probably making up for that lost time,” Kim finished. “Usually, I turn off the ringer and leave it on vibrate on Wednesdays but I forgot to earlier. Just ignore it; they’ve either got to get back soon...”

**CHIRP**

**CHIRP**

“Fucking hell, Kim.”

“They’re getting pissed that I’m not answering.”

“Do you usually? You shouldn’t engage them, really.”

Kim frowned. “Not often since I like how absolutely apoplectic with indignation they get the longer I don’t respond. I imagine them both looking down at their phones, red-faced and mad, typing at me all in a hissy fit. It makes me laugh.”

That thought made Trini smile as well. 

“The only unfortunate thing is that sometimes if practice ends early and I haven’t been answering, my Messenger from school will start…”

**BING**

Trini looked at the laptop in shock. “What the actual fuck?”

“Right on time,” Kim rolled her eyes. “It usually takes longer for my silence to offend them this much. They must be in a special mood today or someone’s PMSing.”

“This is cyberbullying,” was all Trini could manage when most of what she wanted to say were swears and slurs in an outraged rant. _This is so beyond cyberbullying._

Kim let out a small bark of disbelieving laughter. “This is nothing. You should have seen my Snapchat, Insta, Facebook, and Twitter before I deleted them all. Makes the texts and my locker look tame. Life without social media is a lot calmer.”

Blinking at the sense of acceptance Kim was giving off, Trini sputtered to speak up. “But- That doesn’t make any of this better. This isn’t right! Why haven’t you said anything about it?”

“Whatever keeps them happy and busy, really. C’mon, I deserve at least some of it,” Kim insisted. “Amanda’s never gonna be able to escape that picture. Let her get her anger out in a way that doesn’t include slashing my tires again or putting a screwdriver through another camera.” 

Trini froze in mid-sip of tea. “Wait. Tires? I thought Ty did that to your camera.” 

Kim cursed herself for saying too much. “Ty broke the camera to start; he threw it at me and my memory card snapped inside it. Later when I was trying to get the rest of the card out, Amanda came at me with the screwdriver, and well, you saw the camera.”

“Shit, what if you didn’t have the camera? She would have fucking stabbed you?”

“Nah, I could’ve unrun her. Fastest Ranger on two legs,” she winked. Her friend was not amused. 

“You weren’t a Ranger then.”

“Coach Carrowood kept trying to recruit me for Track & Field, though. And Amanda tires out fast, so easy peasy.” 

Trini huffed in reply. This was not the right way for Kim to be handling this. Trini’s anger at the cheerleaders went to war with her worry about Kim’s mental safety. 

The computer chimed with another message.

“For fuck’s sake!” Trini cried. 

“Oh hey, it’s a photo file. These are always shitty but they think they’re so clever,” Kim snorted. The more blase she became, the more alarmed Trini got. 

_How much practice do you have at suppressing your emotions about things like this?_ she wondered, feeling just a hint of hurt and defeat over their Ranger link. Kim was adept at masking her end of it but something always came through, at least enough for Trini to understand. Enough for her to know Kim felt a lot more than she let on.

 _I want you to feel safe enough to stop doing that around me._ She sighed to herself. _We’ll get there somehow, Princesa._

“The last one was my head on some fat guy’s body. Skin tone was totally wrong though.” The photo finally loaded and Kim let out an unimpressed grunt. “They must have gotten Kelsey to do this one. She wants to go into graphic design so she does all this stuff with Photoshop and Adobe Creative Cloud. She’s pretty good, actually.”

“Photoshopping your head onto a naked body to make it look like you’re having sex with a goat isn’t a good use of her skills,” Trini spat angrily. 

“They think it makes them edgy instead of just pathetic. The amount of time they waste on this is ridiculous. At least she got the skin tones right this time. Glad to know they took my last criticism seriously.” 

“You actually critique their bullying?”

“It’s one of the times I answer them- it makes them angrier,” Kim said proudly. 

That part of Kim’s attitude amused Trini; the older girl was taking a lot of abuse but being an absolute troll in response to a lot of it. Unfortunately, there was too much of the ‘I deserve this’, bland, matter-of-fact attitude for the trolling to even it out. 

“I mean, if they’re going to waste their time and mine, they can at least do it right,” she opined. “I’m kinda sad they dragged Kelse down to their level though. Must mean she’s moving up the bitch ladder. I wonder who fell off it. Probably, Cara, she was closest to cracking before my whole mess.” 

Closing the offending tab, she leaned over for another bite of sandwich and chips, wiped her hands off on her pants, and tried to go back to her homework. Trini’s eyes on her made her pause mid-chew. “What?”

“That’s just it then?”

“I mean, the goat could have been cuter…”

“Kim…”

“Don’t let them get to you, Trini,” Kim shot back. “And I don’t need this; I don’t need you to be upset for me all the time. I can take care of myself.”

“But you don’t! You just sit back and take it like… like… some stiff upper lip British bullshit and it drives me insane! How do you not want to scream? Or hit a pillow? Or say something back?”

“I want to do all those things all the time!” The Gridlink opened and the emotions Kim felt hit Trini like a sledgehammer. A moment later, they faded but she was still stunned. There was so much to unpack in what she felt that she didn’t know where to start. Eyes watering at the depth of pain that Kim was feeling, Trini could only look at her, unable to speak for a moment.

Kim’s voice was softer when she spoke again, her eyes off to the side so she didn’t have to see the devastated and horrified look on her friend’s face. 

“I shouldn’t have done that; I’m sorry. But… Look, I can’t change what I did but I can put on my big girl panties and let Amanda call me names and make fake pictures of me if it helps her cope because, at the end of the day, these pictures of me are fake. What I sent out? That was real and can’t be undone. No matter where she goes or what she does, one simple Google search will pop that picture up. Everyone who ever dates her, or goes to hire her…every background check, all of it - that’s there, with and without my caption. It’s permanent, forever.”

The enormity of what Kim had done truly hit Trini and while she could understand some of Amanda’s anger and Kim’s guilt, what was happening was still going too far. 

“You don’t deserve this constant abuse,” she managed to eke out past the lump lingering in her throat. She’d give anything to take this crushing pain away from the older girl; to do anything to stop it. There was so much going on, so many multiple complex levels to what went on inside Kim that she was only now discovering. She was just starting to scratch the surface of what appeared to be a very deep well of pain.

Trini just wanted to hug and protect her, help her free herself from that pain if she could. Not save or rescue her, per se because Kim was strong enough on her own but it often felt like the older teen was drowning inside. A gentle hand or something to help her to keep her head above the choppy water would do Kim a lot of good.

Kim would argue that this constant abuse was warranted but she’d never get Trini to agree with her. 

“They’ll get bored eventually. Besides, Wednesdays are usually the worst and once football season is over their schedules won’t line up as much. They’re not as bad separate as they are together.”

“Nice to know. I don’t believe you, but nice to know. They’re both still bitches.”

“True. Not much I can do until it passes, though. You either, since I don’t wanna have to bake a file into a cake or pass you a key in a kiss to break you outta jail.” Kim’s smile was teasing. The remark was a clear attempt to end the conversation or to switch to a different subject.

Although she recognized it and didn’t have to fall for it, Trini took the out while not taking the ‘kiss’ comment bait. She just wanted to spend some time hanging out and studying with Kim without a heavy conversation. There was no doubt that if she kept pushing at Kim to open up, even when an opportunity presented itself, she’d end up making Kim shut her out.

“Phhhht, I’m not sure you can cook, nevermind bake.” Biting into her own sandwich, she hummed her appreciation. It was just a simple grinder/hoagie but given the fresh meats and veggies available in Kim’s expansive kitchen and her time spent around chefs as a child, it was an impressive culinary surprise. “OK, I take it back; you can at least make a decent sandwich.”

Kim fake gasped, falling back into their easy banter. “Decent? Decent? This is a culinary delight, you peasant. Your taste buds have been stunted by years of Mexican chilis, much like your height.” Munching happily on her food, she winked at Trini who was clearly enjoying her own snack but not going to let the comment about her size go unchallenged. 

“Hey! No short jokes!”

“That was at least a medium-length joke.” Kim looked so pleased with her comment it was disgusting.

Trini groaned. “You’re such a freaking dork,” she chided. “Ew, no, don’t stick your tongue out when your mouth’s full! Christ, for a spoiled rich kid you’ve got shitty table manners.” 

“Nah faihr!” Kim complained around a full mouth. “No cawl me spoiwlt.”

“Gross!” Shaking her head, Trini could only laugh along with Kim’s giggles. “Does anyone else know you’re secretly so weird?”

Kim swallowed some soda to wash down her mouthful. Her eyes sparkled. “Nope. Only you.”

“Lucky me.”

“Lucky you.”


	2. Friendly Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Opportunity finds Trini in an interesting place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: The usual- Language, allusions to past self-harm, quick mention of the suicidal bullying, racial and homosexual slurs/hints of- because of this week's guest star. It'll lighten up next chapter, I promise.

Fortune favors the bold, thus when Trini found herself in a situation to address the issue with Amanda and Harper cyberbullying Kim just a day later, she took it. Chances were it would lead to an issue later with Kim but she figured she’d deal with that problem when it landed on her lap. If she waited for a better opportunity or to do this somewhere else, then that gave the girls another day if not more to continue harassing Kim and that was unacceptable. Kim's anger was something she could deal with if it meant the older girl's torture stopped. 

Trini and the bratty two cheerleaders shared a PE period and since Gomez and Grant were close to one another in the alphabet, Trini ended up in the same bank of changing rooms/lockers as Harper. Amanda was 3 aisles away and at first, the two had tried to be in the same aisle but thankfully their PE teacher was former military and didn’t care who a student was; no one got preferential treatment. You kept to your locker, your aisle, and you didn’t piss the woman off if you knew what was good for you. She didn’t give out preferential treatment but if she didn’t like you, she made your gym classes Hell.

Personally, Trini liked Ms. Montague simply because there was no sense of hierarchy in the classes and it was clear that Ms. M went out of her way to keep the two cheerleaders apart. Often, she assigned them to different teams and never let them get away with slacking off. It gave Trini a wonderful sense of being on equal ground with the popular girls whereas most of the time on campus, the cheerleaders were treated as better than most anyone else, even by their teachers. 

Harper and Amanda _hated_ PE and bemoaned their unfair treatment but they hated Ms. M even more. They liked to talk behind the woman’s back and if she were to ever find out, the two would be in serious amounts of trouble. Especially since a lot of what they called her and joked about were the same things they taunted Trini with; slurs about her sexual orientation and ethnicity (which was Italian in Ms. Montegue’s case). Trini wasn’t so sure about the woman’s sexuality but also didn’t feel it was her business to know. 

In starts and stops that usually accompanied feelings of shame, Kim had started telling her some of the things she and her old friends would say about people, almost like she was having small confessionals. She was slowly opening up about her time as head cheerleader, no longer so afraid of Trini ending their friendship for the things she’d done then. The stories made Trini frown but she listened and did the best she could not to hold the things that Kim had said and done against the version of Kim she was getting to know. It wasn’t fair to do that when Kim was making an effort to change. Plus, Trini didn’t want to be judged by her past mistakes either so she felt she could grant Kim that same courtesy.

With her locker on the outside of the bank of alcoves, Trini could subtly control the flow of traffic in and out of their aisle using her bravado if not her size, and did so to block Harper from leaving at the end of class.

Once the other girl who shared the space with them saw the look on Trini’s face, she took the hint and fled with a bit of a disappointed smirk on her face, as if disappointed that she couldn’t watch the show.

As she went to follow the other girl, Harper stumbled to a stop as Trini's body blocked her. 

“What the fuck do you want?” she snarled when it was clear the smaller girl wasn’t going to let her by.

The growl had no effect on Trini. “Yo, I was wondering if it was you blowing up Kim’s phone yesterday afternoon.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about now let me by,” the blonde insisted snobbily. 

Pretending to stretch, Trini put her arms up and then out to her sides, preventing Harper from going by again. Her denser structure made Harper bounce off her arm. The taller girl looked disgusted that they touched and wiped her hands over where they made contact.

 _You’re the one with cooties, bitch_ , Trini rolled her eyes both at Harper’s reaction and the small sting it gave her. As much as she fronted that these little slights and the slurs didn’t bother her, she was still human, at least emotionally and it was only natural that it hurt occasionally. Not that she was going to let anyone see that.

“I think you do because I figure it had to be you and Amanda,” she accused nonchalantly. “I mean, not a lotta people have her number for one thing and fewer would blow it up like that.” The growing nervousness on Harper’s face was a treat.

“How would you know? Did you like, read the messages? Were you there?” Harper questioned in defense.

“Actually, yeah, I was there and I did see the messages…”

“I knew it! I knew the two of you were fucking,” Harper taunted, almost giggling.

Rage and indignation filled Trini. The constant assumption that she, as a lesbian, couldn’t be friends with another girl without having ulterior motives like sex was so insulting that she saw red each time it was used against her. Unfortunately, it was one of her mother’s favorite things to accuse her of and June wouldn’t listen to how wrong she was no matter how loudly Trini protested. 

“If you spread that lie, I’ll knock every fake veneer out of your fat mouth and then shove them down your throat,” Trini smiled ferally. Her voice had been low and gravelly with her eyes staring unblinkingly at the taller girl.

Harper found the expression eerie and visibly paled as she shrunk away slightly. “Then don’t spread lies about me first,” she argued. “I didn’t send that bitch any messages. I wouldn’t waste my time.”

“You sure?” Trini rolled her eyes. “Cuz like I said, I saw the senders…”

“I don’t care what you saw; it wasn’t me,” Harper tapped one foot impatiently. 

“Really?” Trini drawled.

“Really. I bet there are like at least 2 other Harpers in our grade alone. So are we done?” 

“All right,” Trini put her hands in her pockets and shrugged. “Have it your way.”

“Thanks, I will,” Harper sneered. “Now move.”

Trini gave her a look that said “Make me” and didn’t move.

Harper glared back unwilling to touch Trini again. Rumors might start.

She stomped her foot. “Amanda!” she called out for her friend.

Trini laughed. “Dude, she snuck out about thirty seconds ago when she saw I had you blocked in here. She left ya. You’re on your own.” It was true; only moments earlier she’d seen Amanda come around the corner from her alcove, spot the way she was keeping Harper from exiting, and then swiftly leave the locker room through the other door. 

The expression on Harper’s face turned insulted. Trini couldn’t blame her. 

“I’m not looking for a fight or anything,” Trini decided to give Harper a chance to do this the easy way out of pity of being abandoned by Amanda. “Just stop texting Kim. That’s all.”

“I’m not texting her.”

Trini bit down on calling her a liar to her face. Right now. “Fine. Then tell whoever is doing it that if they keep it up, they’re gonna find out if their cell plan covers emergency colonoscopies or not.”

Harper paused. “Is that some sort of threat? Oh my God, you’re threatening me.”

“Are you sending the messages? Cuz that’s the only person I’m maybe insinuating might find their expensive iPhone shoved up their ass sideways. The only reason you should feel threatened is if it’s you.” Trini arched her eyebrow in challenge. “You feel like confessing anything?”

“Fuck you.”

“Tell you what, I’ll give you amnesty for the next 30 seconds. Tell me right now that it’s you and Tweedle Dee and promise to stop, I won’t mention it again,” Trini offered. “I won’t report you for it or bother you about it, either, if you keep to your word. Otherwise…”

“Otherwise,” Harper echoed mockingly.

“Hmmm, otherwise,” Trini drew out thoughtfully and picked at a sticker on a locker with her fingernail, “you’ll find out why Kim’s actually the _nice_ one and they call me _Crazy Girl_. There’s a reason I have to move around so much.” She cracked her knuckles and neck before giving the taller girl an unsettling smile. 

It was mostly an act, a tough facade that Trini knew how to wear well. While she might despise the blonde and wished that she’d leave Kim alone, Trini wasn’t to the point of violence. Yet. The problem was that if Harper and Amanda kept pressing at Kim, if they kept harassing her and putting her mental health in danger like they were, Trini couldn’t guarantee she’d stay non-violent. That thought brought a strong sense of shame to her.

 _I was raised better_ , she knew although growing up she’d been no stranger to punching the bullies at her various schools. It was a source of pride to her really that her small stature never stopped her from getting the better of most of the bullies, even the older ones. But her parents had spent a lot of time and money helping her deal with her anger issues and giving into the dark part of herself that wanted to lash out and shut the stupid cheerleaders up would be a big middle finger to that as well as to the work she’d done to be better.

There was also the probability that her mother would seize upon any violent outbursts to use as leverage. Then Trini might find herself grounded indefinitely or locked down in her home at all times, only allowed out for school and church. Worse yet, it might be enough of a loophole for June to push through her always lingering threat to make them move no matter what Miguel may have promised Trini.

Oh and the whole Power Ranger rules regarding using her powers against others too. She couldn’t forget that either.

Gasping in exaggerated fright, Harper clutched her purse. “You’re dangerous then!”

Hazel eyes twinkled with amusement. “To some, yeah.” She then leveled a knowing, fairly threatening look at Harper but said nothing.

Harper’s eyes grew wide in reaction. “You’re threatening me!”

Trini sighed dramatically at the drama queen. “Only if you’re cyberbullying Kim. I know it’s hard but try to keep up here.” 

Harper glared. “Fuck you.”

“That’s twice you’ve offered but not even if you were the last pussy on the Earth,” Trini retorted. A horrified expression took over Harper’s face as she realized how what she said could be interpreted. 

“Ew, gross!” she spat. “As if!”

“I know! As if!” Trini repeated in agreement. 

Harper’s eyes narrowed as her nostrils flared. “You know, you’re both a pair of worthless freaks. You deserve each other.” Trini tilted her head and shrugged, unbothered by yet another name being thrown at her. “Your precious little Kimberly isn’t some angel or whatever else you seem to think she is. Like she’s all pretty roses and pink Disney princess bullshit. She’s not. She’s the villain and you’re too fucking stupid or too far up her ass to see it.”

“Are you gonna pass the message along or do I have to write it out for you so you can pass it in a little note like you all love to do when you think no one’s looking,” Trini prodded. She wasn’t going to bite the bait Harper was using. “Stop with the cyberbullying Kim. Stop the bullying altogether, actually.”

“Why? Why should anyone leave that bitch alone after what she did?” Harper snapped. “I mean, why does she get a free pass? I say, if someone’s giving her shit it’s only because it’s what she deserves. Don’t you think so? Or do you excuse what she did to Amanda?”

“I don’t excuse it, no,” Trini admitted. “It was a shit thing, like, really fucking low but let’s not overlook what Amanda did to provoke it either.”

“Oh, so two wrongs make a right? Is that what you’re saying? Typical, that you’d defend her while looking the other way about what she did wrong. You didn’t even know her then.”

“I didn’t say that and I’m not getting into that with you,” Trini decided, becoming exasperated despite herself. 

“You should learn what a filthy piece of shit Kim is before she has a chance to do to you what she did to Amanda,” Harper warned cruelly.

Having already considered and dismissed this as not possible given who Kim now was, Trini shook her head. “I never said she was perfect. I mean, anyone who thinks you’re worth being friends with obviously needs help but my point is that no one deserves the kind of mean, go-kill-yourself bullshit that’s being sent Kim’s way. Just lay off, ok?”

The blonde’s face took on a red tint at the continued insults. “Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it?”

Trini stepped in closer. “Don’t… don’t ask that,” she advised sagely in a whisper-soft voice Harper was unfamiliar with. It made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. The strange, raw honesty in the smaller girl’s tone made Harper’s breath catch uncomfortably. Almost like a hysterical laugh had bubbled up and popped but not exited her throat.

“Just don’t. I’m making a polite request,” Trini went on. “Stop with the bullying and especially stop with the suicide shit. Now. Not later; now. Lose Kim’s number, don’t message her on the school server. Easy. Got it?”

“I told you it’s not me, you little shit,” Harper insisted, managing to recover enough to protest her innocence. 

“Fine. Tell your little flunkies and cheer-bitches then but it stops or…” Trini took her cell and mimed shoving it up the ass of someone in front of her. “Someone’s gonna need a donut pillow is all I’m saying.” 

“OK but let me give _you_ a little advice, too” Harper began. “And I’ll pray that it somehow sinks into that little sun-baked, third-world brain of yours, ok?”

Trini growled low in her throat.

“First, you seem really worried about how all this bullying,” Harper used air quotes, “is going to bother poor little Kimmy. What’s the matter? Is the Queen Bitch sensitive all of a sudden? Has Kimmy-wimmy been acting a little unsteady? A little sad?” she taunted. 

Trini schooled her face and waited for Harper to say her piece with the hope that the idiotic cheerleader didn’t do something stupid and say something really over the line.

“Yeah, get used to it. Get used to her being a completely useless headcase for no fucking reason.” The words were cutting, said with an edge of malice that Trini didn’t expect. “We didn’t cause that. She came that way; bitch was defective when we met her,” Harper spat. 

Trini felt her anger create the flush that flew up her neck and over her face at Harper’s words. The knowing smirk on the blonde’s face only made Trini’s rage worse. The Yellow Ranger clenched her hands into fists and silently counted to ten; when she reached it and was still enraged, she kept counting. But she kept listening too.

“Did I hit a nerve?” Harper mocked. “Yeah, sorry to break it to you, sweetie but she comes by her crazy naturally; we had nothing to do with it. Any suicidal tendencies that Kimmy may have are allllllll her own. You can’t keep blaming her weakness on us. That shit comes all-included with that self-centered evil bitch’s package.”

“Watch it…”

“Or what? You wanted truth? I’m giving it. Not my fault it’s not the truth you wanna hear,” Harper oozed. “My advice? Be ready for the endless, random pity parties, the poor sad Kim,” she made the motion of wiping at her eyes like a crying child which made Trini’s blood boil, “who’s too sad to talk or to come out to play, who’s so starved for attention that she starts carving herself up like a Thanksgiving…” 

“You’re gonna wanna stop right there if you wanna eat solids for the rest of the school year.” 

“I’m reporting you for threatening me,” Harper declared with an air of superiority. 

“If you start spreading lies like that about Kim, I might follow through, yeah,” Trini admitted.

Putting her hand on her hip, Harper smiled cruelly, her perfectly straight white teeth instantly reminding Trini that Harper’s mother was a dental assistant. “Do you really think I’m lying? I hate to admit it but I know you’re way smarter than that, Trini.”

The use of her proper first name was jarring. Trini knew she wasn’t lying but didn’t let on. “I dunno, Kim hasn’t told me anything like that yet. But it’s not your place to.”

“You just don’t want to hear it,” Harper crowed. “But you already know. You see it, too. You already know that she’s gonna cause you nothing but constant misery and pain but you’re too stupid to turn away now. Ha, and they say guys are led around by their dicks; you’re being pulled around by a stretched out pussy who’s never gonna give you the time of day.”

The insulting allusion towards Kim’s sexual history was low even for Harper but Trini ignored it. “You gotta remember, Harper, for everything you know about Kim, she knows something about you.”

The sense of satisfaction Trini got from the stunned look on Harper’s face was something she doubted she’d ever forget. 

“Didn’t think of that, did you? Yeah, I doubt you want everyone to hear all the shit that Kim’s told me about you. Luckily for you, she still holds onto some misplaced sense of loyalty to your former friendship and would never spread gossip. Unlucky for you, I don’t give a shit,” Trini grinned, calming now that she had the upper hand again. Being a teenager in a verbal fight was exhausting. “ Me? I’m more than happy to tell anyone with ears how many STI tests you’ve ‘failed’. How your parents have had to pay off teachers for better grades, how…”

This was all a lie since that same sense of loyalty meant Kim had thus far not divulged much 'trash gossip' about her former friends and stayed more on subjects like what it was like being around them. Judging from the horrified expression on Harper's face, Trini figured she'd guessed close enough to the mark to seem real, though.

“How dare you?” Harper raged. 

“How dare you?” Trini echoed. “Look, I’m just giving you back what you’re giving me. Before you started with throwing Kim’s mental health privacy under the bus, I was simply telling you that if you knew who it was texting Kim to tell them to stop. Leave her phone and messenger alone. Or else.”

“Yes, making a blatant threat against me.” 

Trini didn’t miss the way Harper immediately backed down on exposing any of Kim’s secrets. But she was livid that the cheerleader was so ready to just spew them out. 

_Who knows what she’ll say to whoever will listen? Shit. No one needs their private business used as salacious gossip. Despite my threat, I wouldn’t do that either. Without Kim’s permission at least…_

Trini rolled her eyes. “Again, I’m only threatening you if you’re admitting that you’re cyberbullying Kim. Are you? I’m feeling like you are.”

“So what if I were? It’s a free country.”

“That doesn’t give you the right to bully people, Grant,” Ms. Montegue hissed from behind Trini. “Or you, Gomez. Grant, if I learn you and Clark have been harassing and bullying Kim Hart over the school messenger system, you’re both going to lose your spots on the cheer squad.”

“You can’t do that!” Harper squawked.

“Wanna bet on that?” Ms. M challenged. “I’m one of your advisors, it’s well within my power. You signed a personal conduct contract to be a member of the squad and bullying or using school provided social media to harass another student are listed as grounds for dismissal. Not to mention it could hurt your chances for things like scholarships and colleges next year.”

Harper looked absolutely stricken. Trini took that as a confession, not that she had actually needed one.

“And you, Gomez, stop scaring people with the puffing yourself up to look bigger and the crazy eyes. I’m tired of hearing how mean and scary you look.” Trini tried and failed to hide a smile. “And don’t let me catch doing this in these locker rooms again. You’ll be right back to Saturday morning detentions if I do.”

The way the woman said _‘let me catch you’_ nearly made Trini laugh; translated it was- don’t do it while I’m here.

 _Guess there might be some preferential treatment in this class, after all_ , Trini mused. 

“Got it,” she nodded at the woman. 

“Get out,” Ms. M jerked her thumb towards the door. 

Trini grabbed her bag and went straight for the door before Ms. M changed her mind. As she swung it open, she heard Harper begin to voice a protest before it was cut-off in mid-syllable. 

“Don’t even start with me and that homophobic bs, young lady…”

 _Oh, that is the ‘you’ve got Saturday detention for at least a month’ tone_ , Trini giggled to herself. _Glad I got out!_

As she headed to her next class, she was joined not unexpectedly by Kim who had an amused, half-smile on her face.

“Even if I couldn’t feel how self-satisfied and smug you are, the look on your face would totally give it away,” the taller teen teased as she fell into step beside Trini. “You look like the cat that ate the canary; what’d you do?”

Here Trini found herself faced with a dilemma; there was a good possibility that Kim would be angry with her for trying to help. The undeniable fact of the matter was that Kim accepted the abuse as what she deserved, that she had it coming and that to make atonement for what she’d done, she had to put up with it. If Trini interrupted that it was likely Kim wouldn’t appreciate it. Plus, Kim might worry that the bullying would start including Trini. Either way, that was an argument waiting to happen.

But there was a better possibility that she’d be angrier if Trini lied to her. The same as Trini would be angrier if Kim lied to her. Trini wasn’t a liar by nature and not about to start. That and she was fairly demanding honestly from Kim; it was only fair to give the same back.

So Trini braced herself and explained what had happened as they walked to class. Kim went silent, the smile fading from her face as she listened. Per usual, Trini had trouble reading anything other than a boring flat feeling from Kim’s end of the link so she didn’t quite know what Kim thought of the situation. 

“I asked you not to,” Kim finally said tiredly. 

Trini shrugged a shoulder, unapologetic. “I wasn’t looking to say anything, I swear.” And she hadn’t been. “It just sorta happened.”

“But I’m considered the one with impulse control problems,” Kim rolled her eyes before they narrowed in thought. “Although, until I hit Ty, I think everyone thought you were the violent one.” Glancing up and down at Trini, she nodded to herself. “Since you’re not suspended or covered in blood, both are still me. Kudos.” 

The sharp edge made Trini wince so she paused and herded her friend off to the side of the hall so they could talk face to face for a moment.

“Hey, I know you’re upset and I get why but what they’re doing isn’t right. You don’t deserve it and I’m not gonna put up with it. I had a chance to ask Harper about it; I didn’t accuse her outright or anything. I just let her know whoever’s doing it better stop or their health will suffer.”

“I’m not upset…” Kim tried to protest.

“Liar,” Trini teased lightly. 

“Not upset at you,” Kim amended.

Accepting that, Trini nodded. “I’m sorry you're upset but not sorry I did it. If that makes sense.”

“With you it does,” Kim shook her head. “And yeah, I’m a little upset but it more like I’m tired, just tired of it all. Now it’s just gonna get worse and they’re gonna drag you into it even more.” She sighed again and looked incredibly defeated. “I was trying to avoid that.”

 _I was trying to protect you_ , Kim internally fretted. “They already try and screw around with you and use you to get a rise out of me, now you just gave them more reason to. They’re gonna attack anyone they know I care about or who gives a shit about me. You made yourself a target. Damn it, Trini.” She rubbed at her temple.

“Maybe they’ll be smart enough not to try,” Trini preferred to think she got her point across with Harper, “besides, Ms. M overheard me say that they were bothering you over the school messenger and warned Harper that if she were she’d be tossed off the squad.”

Kim’s facial expression instantly changed. The tired, hangdog look transformed first into surprise and then a rare look of child-like, joyous glee. Hope and delight opened Kim’s end of the link. 

“I hadn’t even considered that,” she gasped. “She’d shit herself!” Her face then fell. “But then she’d just have more free time to come at me harder.” A hint of worry crept into Kim’s empathic link and the positive emotions dimmed slightly but lingered.

“Nah,” Trini disagreed, encouraging the hope she could feel. “If all that happens, I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t dare keep bothering you since things would only get worse for her. They’d be watching for her to bug us by then.”

“Good point,” Kim agreed, her mood brightening again. “All right, what’s done is done, I guess. You didn’t have to do that, you know.”

“I know,” Trini nodded, pulling Kim back into the flow of traffic in the hall, “but I’m not gonna ignore an opportunity to make them back off, ok? That’s not me. If they get mouthy with me, I can deal. I’m not scared of either of them.”

“I could tell,” Kim joked. “I wish you hadn’t but I guess I can’t stop you from doing what you’re gonna do.” There was a tinge of disappointment to the words that hurt Trini; she was just trying to help. “I know you’re only trying to make things better and I guess we’ll see if this makes it better or worse.”

The thought of things getting worse turned Trini’s stomach. _How could they even get worse?_

She reached out and grasped her friend by the wrist for a brief moment to make sure she had Kim’s attention. Trini still wasn’t too comfortable with reaching out like that especially at school where it could be seen and misinterpreted too easily so it immediately made Kim focus on her, or the touch at least. 

Kim hoped the pick-up in her pulse wasn’t noticeable under Trini’s gentle grasp. 

“Hey, promise me though, if they start again or get worse, you’ll tell me.”

Kim made a face.

“Come on, Princess, stop trying to carry the burden alone; let me help.”

“It’s my…” Kim started to say.

“Friends share heavy loads, Kim,” Trini told her softly. “It’s what you do, you’re there for the other person so they don’t go through shit alone.”

“Trini…” Kim sighed in frustration.

“Kimberly,” Trini responded patiently. They faced off in the hall for a moment as the second bell rang out around them.

“Fiiiine,” Kim relented, “but I’m only giving in because I don’t wanna be late for class.”

Trini grinned. “Hey, whatever works for me.”

“You’re impossible.”

“Ditto.”


	3. Mistakes Were Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: A little language and that's it.  
> Trini babysits her brothers after school when Billy arrives with dire news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being a week late. Life is wild.  
> Enjoy something lighter.

After school, Trini was watching her little brothers while the three of them did their homework in the living room. Her parents had an after school meeting about the twins so she was responsible for making sure they were fed and had changed out of their good clothes once they got home. Not that she minded at all; as much as Trini might complain and call them brats, she adored her brothers and would do anything for them. She’d give anything to keep them safe.

They were one of the main reasons why she had decided to just buckle down and accept the weight of her coin in her pocket. Being a Ranger wasn’t a responsibility she really wanted or didn’t want if she were honest about it. She’d been rather middle-road about it all. Or in shock for a long time about it, she wasn’t sure. But the whole thing had shown that there was a lot more out there that was a threat to the people she loved than she ever imagined. That was terrifying.

Having the Yellow Power Coin meant that she had a little bit of power to do something more about it than the average person. It gave Trini the power to protect her family; she had the strength to keep them safe. It was getting so that the weight of the ancient rock, sitting solidly on her person at all times was a reassuring reminder that something like Rita’s attack couldn’t happen again now that they’d morphed, been training more, and Trini knew how to use her armor. Now that they were an actual team that she could rely on.

That was what she prayed, at least, and kept vigilant about. 

Mateo and Diego were almost 8; Trini had been 9 when they were born and was used to being an only child. Adjusting to suddenly being the oldest of three had put her nose out of joint for quite some time. For a while, June had blamed some of her daughter’s growing rebelliousness on the twins’ arrival and then on their terrible twos, threes, etc, therefore, overlooking/ignoring the actual changes in Trini. Granted, some of it had been due to them, at first, but not all of it and not for very long.

Trini resented what she felt was the extra attention that the boys got, not understanding until she grew older that it only looked like more attention because there were 2 of them. Her jealousy faded by the time the twins became old enough to understand who she was and had fallen in love with her. The babies adored their big sister and worshipped her as ‘awesome, cool, and the best’ as they grew and could put words to it. It was hard for her to ‘hate’ them when she was their superhero long before she ever stumbled upon an old chunk of yellow rock. 

It was easy for Matty and Yeyo to love their sister, she was almost always the best to them. Sometimes she was mean and angry but sometimes they were mean and angry to her and to each other; that seemed to be how things worked. You got angry, then made up and moved on. Then the next day started and so on. 

That didn’t happen a lot especially as they got older and when Trini did so much other great stuff. She played with them all the time whether it was helping them practice their soccer moves or just playing around with the ball; she didn’t mind playing with action figures and even did different voices for the characters; she play wrestled and didn’t mind losing; Trini painted with them and showed them how to draw things; she cooked for them things that Mama didn’t like or know how to cook. Sometimes Trini bought them little things for no reason like on family trips to Pizza Galaxy with the claw machines and the machines with the cheap plastic toys in them for fifty cents that Mama says are a waste of money in the lobby. Mami complains every time but Trini winks at them and digs in her pockets for the change she brought with her just for the occasion. She even helps them with the joystick for the claw machine and other times wins things for them.

Trini was cool in so many ways. She was in high school, old enough to drive (even if Mami wouldn’t let her), could use the stove and oven, cross the street alone, stay up past 9, stay out late, and buy her own clothes. Plus, her friends were Jason Scott, a football star; Zack who was awesome at soccer, Billy who had awesome inventions (and occasionally blew things up); and Kim who was pretty, had tons of good snacks, played soccer, and who made Trini happy in a way they’d never seen.

They really liked Kim for making Trini so happy, even if they didn’t understand or weren’t aware of any of the nuances or intricacies involved. Or the problems that it might create. They understood love on an 8-year-old’s level and if Trini and Kim loved each other- ok, that’s cool but ew cooties. They liked seeing their sister turn red and look goofily at the other girl. She looked silly instead of frowny and they loved it.

They enjoyed doing their homework with Trini; it made them feel almost as grown up as she was to sit at the kitchen table or in the living room with her. She took advantage of the quiet time and set them up to work on their study sheets and booklets while she worked on her laptop and textbooks. They knew she was there to help but wouldn’t do the work for them, even if they begged. She was especially good at helping them read because, like when they played with action figures, she gave the characters different voices and made it more fun for them.

Despite being almost identical, the boys were very different. It was difficult for Yeyo to sit still especially at home but he did the best he could and Trini never made him feel bad that he couldn’t focus for as long as his twin could. She let either of them take breaks and didn’t push too much like their Mom did. Yeyo knew she didn’t mean it but sometimes June's insistence that he just needed to ‘try harder’ made him want to cry. He  _ was  _ trying; he wanted to do as well as Matty did. It was embarrassing when he didn’t and he hated the way it made him feel when he failed to. The doctor had said he was just as smart as Matty but it would be harder for him and to be patient. He didn’t know why Mama had trouble with that when almost no one else did.

When Trini and Papi were so patient. Except when he and Matty snuck into Trini’s room and got into her stuff. Then, Trini had no patience with them at all and stayed mad for days. It felt like forever before she forgave them whenever that happened or either of them messed with her art supplies, something they rarely ever did anymore.

They knew better by now. Plus, if they asked nicely sometimes she would let them use some of her nicer art supplies with her close supervision.

Matty loved having the study time with Trini; she didn’t hover as June did. Mami watched over his shoulder looking for him to make mistakes. Instead, Trini let him work quietly alone at his own pace, close enough to ask her questions but not haunting him over his shoulder. Then she double-checked his work and left little pencil marks next to the wrong ones so he could try and fix them before handing it in. If a math problem was really hard, she helped him with it and didn’t get frustrated when it took him a minute to think about it. She didn’t push or sigh if he kept getting it wrong.

Her breath didn’t smell like coffee like Mami and his teachers did either. Or sunflower seeds like Papi’s did sometimes. 

His Dad was a math wizard but he wasn’t that great at explaining how to get through a word problem, how to translate everything into the numbers and that’s what Matty was struggling with. Taking the words and turning them into numbers was tricky for him. Miguel would get flustered trying to help but Trini liked the challenge and patiently wrote or even drew out the word problems to help Matty visualize it. 

Sometimes the drawings were simple napkin sketches but other times Trini would get her sketchbook and pencils to go all out. Matty’s favorite was a long, complicated farm question where Trini drew out all the barnyard animals in the right numbers and gave the whole thing context for him. Then she had added him and Yeyo playing with the animals on the farm. He’d ended up taking the drawing to school to show his teacher who hung it up on the board for a whole week.

Matty wondered where that drawing went. It had only been a few weeks ago so it was probably in his school papers somewhere since he kept all of them. 

“Trade you,” Yeyo offered him, sliding a spelling ditto towards him.

“Nuh-uh,” Trini hummed from the couch. “Doesn’t work that way, Yoyo.” 

Yeyo giggled and stuck his tongue out at her. He knew she’d never let that go by but he was desperate for a distraction. “Ok, but what’s a ‘gla-sigh-eer’ anyway?”

Frowning, Trini looked at the work he was pointing at. “Glacier,” she corrected him and tried to think of an easy explanation. “It’s like a giant iceberg on land that you find at the top of a mountain. That’s why it’s white.”

“Glacier,” Yeyo repeated correctly and Matty echoed quietly just for practice since it was one of his spelling words too. 

“Don’t you learn what the words mean?” Trini asked.

“After we learn to spell them,” Matty explained. “First, we learn to spell them. Then, what they mean, and then we put them into sentences!”

“It takes forrreeeevvvverrrr,” Yeyo complained with a dramatic sigh. 

A sudden rapid tapping on their front door drew the attention of all three siblings. 

“Finish your work,” Trini directed at Yeyo who immediately tried to leave the coffee table. “There are only 3 more examples to go; you’re almost there. I’ll get the door.”

“Ug!” the frustrated boy groaned. “Spelling is hard!”

“Wait until high school, brat,” Trini teased lightly, “and the word is something like coagulate or lingerie. Or worse, bologna.” 

“Oh no,” Yeyo moaned like he had a stomach ache.

Matty giggled at them. 

“Remember, no cookies until your stuff is done!” Trini needled them.

The amount of noise a single set of twins could make when denied their after-homework treat was amazing. 

The tapping hadn’t stopped but Trini’s Ranger link clued her into who was there. “Hey Billy, what’s up?” she greeted as she opened the door. 

Billy’s hand was still hovering in the air to strike the door. “Oh! Hello. Hi!”

“Hi, Billy!” Mateo and Diego chorused from the couch. Billy gave them a little wave.

The Blue Ranger’s anxiety was skipping across Trini’s nerves making her uneasy. 

At first, the amount of anxiety Billy felt on a regular basis was overwhelming. It made the four other Rangers, who all had their own issues with anxiety experience it in new ways. The added layers of which weren’t really appreciated although they understood that he had no control over it. It was what he felt and what he functioned through and it had amazed them that he dealt with it every day. 

None of them aside from maybe Kim could help much of what went over the link at first. But like all of them, as time went on Billy was getting better at keeping his anxiety from overwhelming the shared link. It had become more like background noise for his four friends, something that could be tuned out unless it was like it was at the moment and buzzing loudly.

“Everything ok?” she asked.

Billy’s eyes grew big and he stimmed a little in place. “I don’t know, I’m not sure. I’m hoping that it will be eventually but I imagine that it may take a bit of work.”

That did nothing to clear anything up for Trini. “Uhm, ok. What’s going on? Are you in trouble?” She leaned in a little closer. “Did you blow something important up?”

Billy let out a laugh that relaxed his shoulders. He had been worried that Trini would be upset that he had interrupted her afternoon. “No, nothing like that. I mean, nothing involving property damage and no one’s in any actual trouble with anyone of any authority.”

“Ok then?” The confusion was very easily read on Trini’s face.

Billy rushed to explain; this was important and he was upset that it had happened. “But, collectively, I mean the four of us minus Zack, we’ve definitely made a huge error in oversight. I’m not sure how we did it or even if we can fix it. There’s bound to be lasting effects. It may even disrupt the way we  _ work  _ going forward.”

Now, her own nervousness pumped through Trini’s blood. She had no idea what Billy was talking about but they couldn’t afford to make errors as grave as he was making it sound. Glancing at her brothers, she carefully herded Billy back out the door and shut it behind her so they could talk in private. “What is it? Is Rita back? Did we miss some of her magic? What does Zack have to do with it?”

Billy looked taken aback. “What? Rita? No, although it is probable that she’ll be back. I doubt one loss will deter her from trying to get to the Zeo Crystal. Alpha and I also theorize that there may be traces of her magic remaining around town. As it’s something we’ve never dealt with before, I’m not sure how we’d detect it but we’re working on developing a scan…”

“Wait, then what did we screw up?” Trini cut him off before he could really get going.

“Oh! I’m rambling, aren’t I? And you’re busy with your brothers; I’m sorry,” Billy lamented, twisting his hands together as he paced in place. “It’s just, I feel so terrible! We missed Zack’s birthday!”

That didn’t seem right to Trini, like something they’d overlook. “Wait, what?” 

“It was last Friday. I know you’re going to think I’m making this a bigger deal than it needs to be and I’m being overly dramatic but I truly believe that a milestone like a birthday is an important thing to mark,” Billy defended himself proudly. “It was his eighteenth birthday and we spent time with him but weren’t aware of the significance of the date.”

He sounded so hurt that it made Trini sad as well. She was sad, actually that something had led to Zack not mentioning it to them. Or at least to her; they were supposed to be bros who talked about (almost) everything.

“We can’t know if he doesn’t tell us, Billy,” she reminded him anyway. The truth didn’t help it to sit any better though. “I mean, I don’t know any of your birthdays… wait, I know Kim’s but that I overheard that one. It’s not like I went online when we became friends and stalked your social media to learn about you guys. I don’t believe most of what people post online anyway.”

“I know, I didn’t either. I wanted to and talked to Jason about whether or not that crossed a privacy boundary because sometimes it’s hard for me to tell. He wasn’t completely sure so we erred on the side of caution and decided not to search through your social media or rely on online data reports about you. We’d just, you know, talk to you guys.” He smiled. “It was really tough at first but I think I’m getting better.”

“You are,” Trini reassured him, “and you guys made the right choice. The other is an invasion of privacy.”

“See, that was what I thought but it’s public information that people choose to put out there. That’s why I needed to ask Jason. I was going to ask Kim but she wasn’t home. Either way, I like the choice we made because it’s better to get to know you this way,” he gestured between them, “one-on-one than read about you. It’s not the same.” He then blushed slightly. “I thought you were scary at first.”

“What?” Trini grinned at him. “I mean, ok I see why. That’s so funny.”

“You never smiled or talked to anyone!” Billy told her. The panic about missing Zack’s birthday fading for a moment while he got the chance to talk to Trini alone in an environment where she was relaxed. It was rare for him to catch her in as easy-going a mood as she seemed to be in that afternoon.

Shrugging one shoulder but losing none of her amusement, Trini replied, “I didn’t think you even noticed me.”

“You’re hard not to notice, whether you know it or not,” Billy said simply. 

Trini rolled her eyes and snorted. “You’re thinking of Kim, not me.”

Billy blinked. “No, I’m not. I mean you. You have a presence and I know you think you blend in but at this point, if someone says that they don’t see you, they’re being willfully blind.”

Something in the way he phrased it as well as the way Billy said it made Trini’s throat grow tight. He was saying that she was  _ there _ , visible despite anyone’s efforts to ignore her and her own efforts to hide. She was there and she was authentic. Anyone who refused to acknowledge that was purposely ignoring what was right in front of them.

It was a validation she didn’t know she needed. 

“I kinda lowkey wanna hug you right now.”

Only slightly startled, Billy went with it. “Oh! Uhm, thank you. Please don’t, but would you accept a fist bump?” He held out one fist and then the other. “Maybe even a double? A two-for-one?”

Trini fist-bumped both hands and then blamed her wet eyes on allergies. Once she’d wiped them on her sleeve, she cleared her throat and turned back to Billy.

“Ok, back to Zack. His birthday? Before we got sidetracked?”

“Right! I wanted to see if you thought we could get Jason and Kim together with us to try and throw a surprise party for Zack this weekend?” Billy asked in an excited rush.

“It’s Zack’s birthday?” Yeyo asked. He and Matty had wandered out the door when Trini was gone so long. She and Billy had managed to walk out into the driveway and didn’t notice the twins creeping out the door.

Trini scolded them in Spanish to put their shoes on first and then rolled her eyes at herself.  _ God, I sounded just like Mami just now. _

“Haha, you sounded like Mami,” Matty teased as he came back out with his Spider-Man sneakers on.

“Shut up,”  _ you little shit _ , “I did not. And no, Zack’s birthday was last week and he didn’t tell us so we missed it. That’s why Billy’s here. We need to fix it and make it right.”

“Maybe he don’t celebrate it?” Yeyo asked.

“‘Doesn’t’,” Trini automatically corrected as she looked at Billy. “Does he?”

The tall boy nodded. “Yes. I asked some of his other friends at school. That’s how I found out it was his birthday last week; one of them, Ashton Grazer, asked me to tell him ‘Happy Birthday’ for him. I had to tell him I didn’t know when Zack’s birthday was so we talked about it for a few minutes.”

“Gets-a-ton-of-” Trini cut herself off right before she said ‘ass’ and nodded her head instead, “-Ashton? That guy?”

Billy’s eyebrows knit together for a moment. “I don’t like his nickname but yes, him.”

“Gets a lot of what?” Matty asked innocently.

“Ants because he leaves his candy out,” Trini lied. 

“Ew,” Yeyo wrinkled his nose while Matty said “Yuck” and stuck out his tongue.

Billy looked at her in mild confusion.

_ I really am sounding more and more like Mami with lies like that. Geesh. _

“Sorry, despite his nickname he’s a pretty decent guy, actually,” she moved on. “I didn’t even know they were friends.”

“They used to be pretty heavy into skateboarding together. He said Zack was very good at it.”

“I believe it,” Trini nodded after a moment’s thought. “I can see it. He’d love the challenge to go higher and spin more times. And the rush of it all. I’m surprised he’s not into extreme sports, to be honest.”

“I’m Extreme Mateo!” Matty declared, running across the lawn with one arm out in front of him like Superman. He jumped up onto the picnic table and then down to chase after his brother who had run by and taunted him, saying he was too scrawny to be a superhero. “We’re twins, stupid!”

“No name-calling!” Trini warned.

“Ay! Sorry!”

“And be careful!” Trini told them. “Stay in the yard and away from the road!” Beside her, Billy laughed. “Don’t you dare say it.”

“You really do sound like your mother.”

“Don’t help,” Trini growled. She led Billy to the picnic table so that they could sit and talk while keeping an eye on her brothers. Letting them burn off a little more energy was probably a good idea anyway. “Do you have anything in particular in mind?”

“For the party? A few,” Billy nodded. “I thought it would be nice to surprise him but it wouldn’t work to do it at his house. If we were to invite the four of us along with Ashton and a few others that he said would want to come…”

“Seriously?” Trini wasn’t sure if she should be suspicious or not.

“Yes. Ashton said that he and the others missed Zack. He said that Zack sort of stopped coming to skate with them and they didn’t do much to see why.”

“Jerks.”

“I agree but they feel bad about it and if they’re serious, shouldn’t we let Zack decide?” Billy wondered.

“I dunno if having a surprise party to apologize for missing his birthday and springing old friends on him is the best idea,” Trini considered. Billy looked disappointed and she couldn’t blame him; Zack could use a larger support system, Power Ranger or not. His mother was ill and despite his tough-guy persona, Zack wasn’t a lone wolf by any stretch of the imagination. He was a social creature and needed interaction. “We’ll talk to Jase and Kim about it though. Maybe the bigger the party, the bigger the bang and he’ll feel really awesome.”

“That’s what I hope,” Billy said. “He’s a great guy. A little overbearing and… a lot sometimes but I like him.”

“He is a lot sometimes,” Trini agreed with a smirk. If she felt overwhelmed by the Black Ranger’s personality once in a while, she could only imagine how much it had to get to Billy at times. 

“He and I don’t hang out together without Jason outside of school,” Billy sighed. “I’d like to but I’m not sure what we have in common other than video games.”

A pang of sadness went through Trini at the admission so she decided to help. “Just tell him.”

Billy shook his head. “There are times I wonder if he likes me.” There was a note of shame in his voice.

“Are you kidding me? Billy. He thinks you’re amazing. He’s probably intimidated because you’re so smart!” Trini told him truthfully. Zack was always flabbergasted by Billy’s inventions, whether they worked or not, because Billy actually took his ideas from thought to paper, to reality. Ideas because real physical objects you could touch and when they worked, it meant Billy added something to the world that wasn’t there before.

Trini explained all that to Billy having had long talks with Zack about their mutual friends and the interesting things about them. 

“I think he just doesn’t know what he’d say to you either if Jason wasn’t there as a bridge of some sort,” she chuckled. “I think you both need to just, you know, talk.”

“Wow. Yeah, I think so too,” Billy smiled. “Thank you. That makes me feel a lot better.”

“Good. I think your inventing things is like his gardening to him; you both take basically nothing and create something that is meant to help in some way,” Trini theorized. “It’s measurable and he can see it.”

“Zack likes gardening?” 

“Oops… but yeah. Flowers, ferns, veggies, all of it. He has a little veggie garden out back in the spring and summer. Or says he does anyway.” She hadn’t actually seen it. “The plants in the trailer are mostly his, not Mama Taylor’s.” 

“That’s so neat!”

“Yeah. So, a surprise party and we’ll see about inviting Ash and the others. Next is the location.” Trini shot a look at her brothers who were investigating some sort of bug. “Here won’t work either, not if it’s more than the five of us. And my Mom would be up our asses the entire time too.”

“That leaves Jason’s or Kim’s,” Billy pointed out. “It’s really short notice for either.”

_ Which means Kim’s is the better bet _ , Trini winced at her own thoughts. She may have thought it but she wasn’t going to suggest Kim’s house without permission.

“Let’s skip that for now and say we have a location, what next?”

“We’ll all need presents, of course, but that’s a private thing. Thank you for giving me ideas, though,” Billy said cheerfully. “We’ll also need decorations, plates, cups, utensils since I doubt anyone wants to do dishes when it’s all over. We’ll all help clean up afterward and anything we buy will be biodegradable, of course.”

“Right.”

“Then there’s activities, food, drinks, and cake,” Billy ended with. “I thought about playing board games and video games depending on our location. Maybe something outside if it’s at Kim’s since her yard is considerably larger.”

“All good ideas. Next problem: money. This is all gonna cost money and I’m not exactly swimming in it.”

While it was somewhat of a lie thanks to the Hart’s check (which was sitting in the bottom of her desk drawer in a sealed envelope) Trini didn’t feel comfortable cashing it yet. The whole thing rubbed her the wrong way and until it didn’t, the check was staying where it was. 

“I’ve got maybe about $30,” she admitted, “and that includes food for school and stuff.”

“I know. I haven’t come up with a solution for that problem yet either,” Billy confessed. “I only have $50 I can spare this month and I need to eat at school too. It costs more for me to eat since we… you know… then it used to.”

“Same,” Trini groaned. “We might have a box or two of cake mix in our pantry but my Mom doesn’t bake much.” She thought for a moment; there might be some of the supplies she bought for her Diwali cooking leftover as well. “Might be at Kim’s too since she made cupcakes not that long ago.”

“Yeah, but why not just ask Kim to buy one?” Matty asked as he and Yeyo joined them. The twins plopped down onto the benches, out of breath from chasing one another around. 

“Yeah! Kim’s rich! She can buy a humungo cake!” Yeyo said excitedly. “Like one as tall as a house and shaped like a pirate ship!” 

Trini cringed. The last thing she ever wanted to do was ask Kim for money or a favor like this. 

“No, you don’t ask friends for money like that,” she said curtly. 

“We do have to call and talk to both Kim and Jason about our plans, however,” Billy hedged. 

“Fine, I’ll call Kim but I’m not gonna beg her for money.”

Despite her best efforts in trying to explain their plans, the issue of money came up and Trini slipped up.

“No, I won’t give you money to buy a cake for Zack,” Kim said, slightly insulted. “How dare you?”

_ Oh crap. Oh shit, oh fuck. I just turned into Amanda and Harper. Fuck me sideways,  _ Trini freaked out in her head.

“Fuck Kim, I’m sorry,” Trini double-cringed for making Kim angry and swearing in front of her brothers. Thankfully, they looked sad that Kim said ‘no’ and weren’t making fun of the slip-up. “You know I’d never ask for money…”

“No, I’m not upset about that,” Kim blew that part off complete with a burst of air, “I know you wouldn’t. No, I’m upset that even after I’ve made cupcakes and you made Mohanthal from scratch, you think that we can’t handle a couple of boxes of cake mix and frosting together. I mean, I was raised around pastry chefs too, Trini. I can handle whatever Betty Crocker can dish out.” 

Relief flooded through Trini, making her fingers tingle. “Jesus Chri- I thought you were actually mad, dude!” she laughed. “You’re such a jerk!” 

“I know,” Kim cheeked. “I can only imagine your face, too. Anyway, tell Billy I’m on board and my parents aren’t expected so we can probably use the house. I’ll send them an email to double-check but I’m pretty sure it’ll be fine.”

“That’s awesome. He’s on the phone with Jason now and it looks like he’s onboard too,” Trini told her with a smile. “Party for Zack this weekend!”


	4. Party Prep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls prep for Zack's party. That night, Trini discovers a thoughtful surprise from her best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: not a lot. June being June but not overly. Language, maybe. Lol
> 
> I am so sorry for the delay.  
> To put it simply, I'm depressed. It's both situational (pandemic, social upheaval, black men being shot in the back) and I'm Bipolar to start. I'm safe from both the riots and (mostly) Covid where I am so it's not endangering me but God, my heart and soul hurt.  
> The depression ruins my focus and urge to write and that makes me feel bad because I know you're out there hoping for an update. I want to bring you those updates but I don't want to bring you subpar updates that my heart isn't in. I'd rather no updates than poor updates.  
> To that end, I've been writing and reworking a lot of this and I think it's where it should be. Just a light and easy chapter to lead into the party. Originally the party and prep were all one chapter but it's taking me too long. This part is done to my satisfaction and I'd like to share it with you.  
> Thank you for your patience. I love you and all your support. It means so much.  
> Stay safe, healthy, and take care. Enjoy

After school Friday and under her mother’s watchful eye, Trini gathered together the supplies she needed from their kitchen before she headed to Kim’s to start baking for Zack’s party the next day. They’d decided to get together with Billy and Jason to decorate the house the evening before and bake what they needed to as well so that in the morning all they needed to worry about was getting Zack and all their guests where they needed to be on time for everything to work out the way they had planned. 

“Do you need any measuring cups? Make sure to bring them home if you borrow any,” June said, albeit nicely. 

Trini had to give her credit, June was trying to be helpful and for the most part, was succeeding. Unfortunately, it only proved the point Trini had made only a week or so earlier when she’d said that June would have helped instead of criticizing if the Indian desserts Trini had been making had been for a boy instead of a surprise for Kim. Since this party and all the effort was going towards Zack, a guy, it didn’t throw up any of the homophobic alarm bells that simply being nice to Kim did in her mother’s mind. It was irritating and insulting but at the moment there wasn’t much Trini could do about it.

“I’m sure she has those,” Trini answered evenly. “I’m not sure about a sifter, though?” Honestly, she was pretty sure anything they needed was in the Hart kitchen but June was trying so hard to help that she had to throw her a bone.

“Good idea!” June declared and moved to grab the utensil. “Do you have everything else on your list?”

Trini triple-checked it. “Yeah, looks it.”

“And you promise you’ll pick your brothers up at 10 tomorrow morning?” June reminded her. “They are really looking forward to the party.”

It was a simple thing really but a brilliant idea in Trini’s mind; she’d invited her little brother’s to the first half of the party. Zack liked to hang out and play a little soccer with the twins who looked at the tall teen as a brother-figure, something they lacked. The teen was always on his best behavior with them and didn’t (usually) get into trouble around them or try to influence them in poor ways. 

Matty and Diego knew about the party and asked Trini if they could go. Selfishly, Trini knew that if she asked her mother, June would be more likely to go along with the whole idea in general. The plan included spending Friday night at Kim’s which was sometimes a challenge to get June to agree with. Since she’d have to come home and get her brothers, therefore see and check in with her parents at the same time, June was much more receptive to the idea. And, Trini and Kim both theorized that the older woman figured they’d be less inclined to any ‘sinful behavior’ with the twins around.

They’d both rolled their eyes when they’d talked about that part.

And blushed.

Inviting her brothers had given Trini’s mother no good reason to say no to letting her spend time at Kim’s, especially since it was for something like making up Zack’s birthday. June liked him well enough that a small party using Kim’s home as space (which was understandable given its size) sounded reasonable. She’d actually ended up encouraging it because it meant Trini would be spending time with her little brothers which June felt had been lacking recently. Any concern she had about Trini being around Kim was virtually eliminated, at least for that part of the day because she knew that they would be amongst many people and that Trini would always put the well-being of her baby brothers first.

That was sort of a no-brainer.

The twins also gave them a cover as to why they were gathering at Kim’s house at a certain time and not letting Zack wander in and out when he wanted. They’d fed him a story about throwing a party for the twins whose birthday was in early December. With the holidays it was hard to get a party together for them, or so said Trini who fed the line to Zack who bought it hook, line, and sinker. Kim had then taken Zack out shopping at a large sporting store for presents for them and used it as a way to see what sort of things Zack was interested in too. 

Along with the twins, Jason was bringing his little sister Pearl. She was slightly older than the twins but still friends with them and adored Zack who let her paint his nails and helped out when Jason was a chaperone for her Brownie/Girl Scout Troop. They were always short chaperones but Jason and his friends were almost always willing to help them out. Plus, a lot of the girls in her troop had little crushes on Jason, Zack, and Billy. Probably Trini and Kim too. Pearl was excited to see all of Jason’s (and her) friends at the party Saturday as well. 

Trini laughed. “Don’t worry, Mom, I won’t ditch them. I wouldn’t do that to them.”

June leaned in and kissed her daughter on the side of the head before she could get away from the affection. “I know you wouldn’t. It was really sweet of you, all of you to include them. I know you didn’t have to.”

“Yeah but they knew about the party and I can’t deal with their puppy-dog begging faces,” Trini gruffed. 

_ Almost as bad as Kim’s _ , she thought to herself. The thought of those sweet brown eyes pouting at her for the last piece of donut made Trini smile wistfully.

Misinterpreting the smile as something to do with the twins, June nearly pinched Trini's cheeks. She and Miguel were so proud of their little girl for the way she treated her brothers. 

“Trini! Kim just pulled into the driveway!” Miguel called from the living room. 

Despite herself, June couldn’t help making a face and Trini didn’t miss it.

“Really, Mama?” she scoffed. Any generous mood between the two instantly soured. 

June winced. “I…”

“I’m tired of this,” Trini shook her head. The two women eyed each other warily for a moment. It was only the chime of Trini’s cell phone that broke the staring contest. “Yeah, that’ll be her to let me know she’s here. Don’t worry, Mom, she won’t dare come to the door in case it pisses you off or gives the neighbors something to talk about.”

“You’re being overdramatic, Trini,” June rolled her eyes. “I never said she couldn’t come to the door.”

“You didn’t have to; you made a face when Dad said she was here,” Trini countered. “Besides, she’s never come to the door to get me. Or haven’t you noticed?”

June looked taken aback at this revelation. “She hasn’t?”

Trini smirked smugly. “No, she hasn’t. You’ve barely met. Kim’s not dumb enough to come to the door and risk setting you off. And she respects me too much to honk for me so she texts me when she’s here to pick me up. How do you think I always know when she’s out front?”

“I have spoken with Kimberly,” June insisted as Trini gathered up her bags. It was insulting to the older woman to think that Kim didn’t come to their door out of some fear of her. 

“Sure,” the teen shrugged, “in passing. But you don’t know her; you won’t take the time to try. She’s my best friend and you won’t give her a chance even though she hasn’t done anything. You only know what you’ve heard and what you suspect. It’s not right and it’s not fair.”

“I’m tired of having this discussion with you,” June snapped.

“Me too,” Trini snapped back. “But somehow we end up here every time the subject of Kim comes up.”

“Ladies, there’s a car in the driveway waiting for Trini; it’s rude to make Kimberly wait,” Miguel said as he entered the room. He looked between the two and swallowed the urge to sigh. The tension was thick enough to cut. “Is everything ok?”

“Yeah, ‘s fine,” Trini grumbled. “Can you help me with my bags by the door, Dad?”

“Sure, sweetie. Are you sure you’ve got everything?”

“Yup,” Trini nodded. “Mama and I went over the list.” She turned back to her mother. “Make sure they’re ready before 10, though. Zack’s gonna be at Kim’s at 10:30 sharp.”

June smiled and nodded, glad to get away from another fight about that girl. “They’ll be freshly bathed, dressed, and ready to go,” she promised. It was on the tip of her tongue to double-check that Trini wanted to spend the night at the Harts instead of coming home and leaving with her brothers the next morning but she bit it back. “Call us if you need anything,” she said instead.

Trini seriously doubted that would happen but nodded anyway. She was glad to get away from the overbearing woman. “Uh-huh. Ok, I’m all set.”

-

Thankfully, between the two of them, Kim and Trini were able to bake a couple of batches of cupcakes along with a good-sized cake for Zack without burning or ruining anything. The smugness rolled off of Kim as they decorated the cupcakes and waited for the cake to cool.

“I told you we could handle this,” she smirked. “I didn’t set the fire alarm off even once.”

“All right, don’t hurt yourself patting yourself on the back,” Trini retorted, her eyes betraying her mirth. 

Kim was sliding around the kitchen in just an ordinary t-shirt, a pair of sweats, and some fluffy socks but she was still pretty (and cute) to the Latina. She wanted to share moments like this with Kim all the time. It was calm, normal, and drama-free; achingly domestic. Trini could almost choke on her want for it.

“And you wanted to buy him a cake. Psst,” the Pink Ranger teased as she topped off a frosted cupcake with some sparkling dark amethyst sugar crystals. They were meant to represent Zack’s Ranger color while not being obvious. Besides, while he might find black cupcakes with black frosting cool and edgy, Trini and Kim did not and so they had made a mixture of chocolate and vanilla. 

The one concession for buying treats had been in the gluten/dairy-free and vegan cupcakes they had to order from a bakery for some of their guests. Kim was willing to admit that those were outside their capabilities but they were needed so that everyone they’d invited had food to enjoy. A small caterer was handling those items with the three other Rangers each arranging to pay Kim’s parents back in their own time.

Kim didn’t bother to tell them she was going to reimburse her folks for it instead. Technically she would just be giving them back their own money (her allowance) which she found hilarious. Any money that her friends gave her to repay her parents she planned to put away for when that friend needed it. Inevitably, a time would come when they would and for a change, Kim was not only thinking about someone else’s well-being but planning for the future as well.

Across the table from her, Trini stuck her tongue out. “I didn’t wanna just assume that you were interested in the whole thing and that you wanted to like, bake for it,” she defended, wiping frosting off a knuckle. “It was hard enough just to call you and I nearly wanted to die when I thought you were mad about the money thing…”

Putting down her spatula, Kim leveled Trini with a look. “It’s Zack and we missed his birthday, of course, I’m going to want to help throw him a party. And,” she took a deep breath and tried to figure out how to say what she wanted. “When it comes to money…”

“Ug,” Trini groaned.

“Just hear me out,” Kim interrupted her, “I don’t want you to feel awkward about it if it’s something like this and it… or I can help. This sort of thing,” she motioned to the plates of cupcakes, “is different than, say, asking me to buy you a new jacket, which I’d probably do anyway…”

Trini shot her a very annoyed look. The taller girl wasn’t impressed which made Trini even more annoyed.

“But it’s different, ok? This is,” Kim searched for the right word while Trini reached for another cupcake to decorate, “this is family, Trin, not materialism. This wouldn’t be you wanting something for like, instant gratification. This was you wanting to do something nice for someone else. It’s a different category.”

“Still not gonna make a habit of it,” Trini gruffed. 

“Well, I hope not,” Kim said honestly. “It would lose meaning if you did.”

Trini paused and looked at the older girl for a long moment; she had a habit of throwing Trini for a loop and had managed to do it again. While Trini was following a discussion about money, Kim had turned it into a statement on family and meaning. 

“Plus, bonus!” Kim grinned over at her and scooped up a spatula full of sugary confectionery. “Look at all this frosting!”

Just like that, Kim lifted the heavy moment and reset it back to fun. With a dash of powdered sugar on her cheek, she smiled brightly at Trini as if the younger teen was the sun in her sky and they didn’t have a care in the world.

And Trini fell for her a little more.

-

“You reek of sugar,” Trini groaned, mostly for show when Kim put her head on her shoulder from behind in front of the bathroom mirror. “How many cupcakes did you end up eating?”

“Only two, ya brat,” Kim answered. “As for how much frosting I ate, however…possibly in the pounds.”

“Yeah, you smell like the cake section at the grocery store.”

“Nice! I mean, there are worse things.” 

“True.”

“Thank God for Ranger metabolism ‘else I’d be on My 600lb Life.”

“Same. But brush your teeth so they don’t rot out of your skull anyway,” Trini teased.

“Uh-huh, I will,” Kim said absently as she moved to stand beside the smaller teen. 

Trini reached for her toothbrush and paused; she kept a small, folding travel toothbrush at Kim’s but it wasn’t in its usual spot in her cup. Her cup was gone too. Sort of. Instead of the plain clear glass cup, she’d been using, a bright yellow Spider-Man cup sat in its place. 

A smile started to spread on her face. There was a matching yellow electric Spider-Man toothbrush in the cup. The cover for the brush was Spidey’s bright red-masked head. Both her brothers would love it. 

Trini did too.

_ Hoooo-oooly crap! Did she buy me my own toothbrush to keep here? Like, for real? And it’s yellow! And Spidey! Wait… how does she know about Spider-Man? _

“Did you seriously buy me an electric toothbrush with Spider-Man on it?” 

“Maybe.”

“With a matching cup?”

“It came as a set,” Kim explained as she started to brush her own teeth. “There’s some children’s bath soaps under the sink if you’re interested. You needed a new brush and I saw it when I was shopping online for some other things the house needed.”

“Why Spider-Man?”

“You love Spider-Man and it was yellow.”

“I don’t…”

“Don’t even bother,” Kim giggled. “I’ve seen your Netflix and Amazon queues, you watch a ton of Spider-Man stuff.”

“That’s the twins…”

“Nu-uh,” Kim shook her head. “You’re the one who keeps borrowing Spidey comics from Billy to read behind your textbook in History class or before training, not Matty or Yeyo. You’re the one with Spidey notebooks and who buys Spidey themed snacks when the store has them. They don’t taste any better than the normal ones.”

“Do too,” Trini grumbled under her breath. She both hated that she could feel her cheeks blushing and loved that Kim had been so thoughtful as to do something that  _ made  _ her blush.

“Yeah, I see you, Gomez. Face it, you love Spider-Man.”

Mumbling inaudibly, Trini put toothpaste on her new brush and cleaned her teeth. “OK, I like him but I’m not a freak about it or nothing. Anyway, thank you.”

“I know. And you’re welcome.”

“I’ll hit you back for it,” Trini promised. 

Kim hummed in response as she finished up. She paused on her way out of the room. “Or am I wrong and it’s not Spider-man you like but the red-head? The one who died in the original Spidey series? Gwen Watson or May something? Kirsten Dunst played her in the first set of movies.”

Spitting out her toothpaste a little too forcefully, Trini glared at her friend. “Oh my God, you totally mixed them up on purpose! MJ Watson is a red-head and Peter married her at one point. Gwen Stacy died in one timeline but in another one, Gwen has her own series as Spider-Gwen and Peter died!” she ranted. “And May is Peter’s Aunt May who raised him and is old and that’s gross and I know for a fact you know that!”

Laughing hysterically, Kim backed out of the door with her hands up. “Easy, easy,” she said with a snort. “But I thought you didn’t like Spider-Man!”

“Kimberly!” Trini protested. “If you must know, I prefer the Miguel O’Hara and Miles Morales versions over Peter Parker!” 

Kim stopped laughing and tilted her head. “Wait, who?”

Trini’s mouth gaped open in a mixture of insulted and horrified. “What? You don’t know who…” she caught the sly grin on Kim’s face and stopped. “Go, get out. Let me pee in peace!” 

Kim’s giggles carried through the closed door.

Trini was glad the taller girl couldn’t see her smiling.

When Trini walked back into the bedroom, Kim was already on the bed scrolling through her phone. 

“All set?” the brunette asked with a quirk of an eyebrow.

“Yup,” Trini chirped as she got on the bed. Kim plugged in her phone and they went about shutting off the lights and getting under the covers.

Curling up behind the smaller body, Kim let out a small chuckle. “You know, if we ever get to a point where we can sleep alone without nightmares, I’m going to miss the before-bed banter. It’s a great way to unwind before bed.” 

There was a sad note of melancholy to her voice that Trini couldn’t miss.

For the most part, Trini’s nightmares had eased. Or at least occurred with less regularity. With a new lock on her window at home, something her parents didn’t fight her on, she felt safer. Chances were a simple lock wouldn’t do much to stop a magic user like Rita but it helped a little. 

The nights she spent with Kim had let her start the cycle of sleeping longer periods with either the safety of someone there or the security to know when a nightmare occurred that she was dreaming, even unconsciously. Kim’s confession meant it wasn’t going as well for her.

“Meh, if we get to that point I’m gonna harass you anyway so…” Trini shrugged. Kim held her a little tighter for a moment. 

“Gonna keep sleeping over even when you don’t need me to fight the boogeyman?” 

“Someone’s gotta fight yours, right?”

Kim hummed and pressed her nose further into Trini’s back. Trini reached down, grabbed Kim’s hand that rested on her hip, and laced their fingers together. She gave a little squeeze and pulled it up to her chest before she closed her eyes. 

“Either way, I’m not goin’ anywhere,” she finished firmly while keeping her voice light. They had a big happy day planned for tomorrow; she wasn’t going to press Kim on anything emotional tonight. “You’re stuck with me.” Kim chuckled and snuggled closer. 

“Eh, doesn’t seem so bad so far. G’night.”

A warm happy feeling washed over Trini. “Yeah, not so bad I guess. Night.”

A short time later as she lingered on the fuzzy edge of sleep, Trini felt a soft kiss pressed to her shoulder and heard a barely audible, “Thanks.” 


	5. Happy Birthday, Zack!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: June Gomez, mental health, 7-year-olds & sugar, sibling rivalries, being a teenager. Some random OCs.
> 
> Zack's birthday party! Everyone's there!!
> 
> Quick note: as of right now, the OC characters aren't meant to be someone else. As of right now, at least. ;-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Here's Zack's party and I'm pretty happy with it. Not only that, I felt compelled to work on it. Ideas started flowing again as well as other ideas for other parts. That had pretty much dried up (I knew it was temporary but no less frustrating) in mid-June but it's coming back and THAT makes me soooo happy. Writing is almost a compulsion for me and when it's not there, I feel somewhat lost and empty.  
> I genuinely love what I'm working on. For me, it's grown beyond the fandom in a way- there's SO much written and in my head. I love these two characters and the world we only got a glimpse at- another frustration.  
> As for me, I'm feeling marginally better. Spoke with both my drs and we're adjusting my plan a little to make me feel better. *fingers crossed*  
> Thanks so much for checking in with me and all your support. It really, really does help!  
> RAVENBLADE1 You're kinda awesome. So, I wanna know: what do you call a bear with no teeth? ETA: *snort* A little while after I posted this, the answer FINALLY came to me and I was equally parts amused and ashamed that it took me so long. Thanks for the Lol.

Awoken in the middle of the night, not by a nightmare but by a rather loud snore, Kim blinked herself awake. The snoring continued, eliminating herself as the suspect; she hadn’t woken herself up snoring. Turning her head, she saw that Trini had rolled over and her head was at an odd angle, half-on/half-off the pillow; likely why she was snoring. And drooling.

Carefully, she shifted the pillow under Trini’s head until it leveled out. She held her breath for a moment when it looked like the younger teen might wake up but Trini just made a face and sighed before relaxing again. The snoring, however, stopped.

It had taken several weeks of off-and-on sleepovers and even more battled nightmares for Trini to reach a sleep this deep. Kim wasn’t having as much luck but was thankful not to have awoken her. 

_That was cute_ , she thought with a giggle. _Then again, everything she does is cute and I’m a sad little whipped puppy._

There was no sorrow or regret in her thoughts. If that’s what she was for wanting to be around someone who made her feel as good as Trini did, so be it. Even if she wasn’t battling a crush on the tiny Latina, Kim would treasure her for the amount of sunshine she unknowingly brought into the former gymnast’s life. When she thought of life pre-Trini, her memories seemed dimly lit, dark, even colorless. With-Trini, while things weren’t great and her home life hadn’t improved any, her memories and moments were brightly lit and colorful. 

It might only be a perception thing but to Kim, it meant the world. 

The sweet irony that growly, grumpy Trini who didn’t let anyone close and barely spoke to most people was the source of the brightest light in her life was wonderful to Kim; she delighted in it. It was the true Trini shining through and she knew it. The real Trini that the girl herself didn’t share with many people but felt Kim was worthy enough to see.

God help her, that grumpy-ass was the person she was crushing on.

 _Crushing on? Obsessing over? Falling for? Whatever this is, it’s new and scary and I really want to back away and pull her closer at the same time_ , Kim thought as she rolled onto her back and brushed her hair out of her face. 

Her main instinct right now was to flee, run far far away from Trini, and from everything else that was making her feel anxious. The feeling that there was something lingering over her head getting ready to drop, undoubtedly resulting in devastation and pain (and probably the loss of Trini as a friend- this was all likely to be Kim’s own fault, she knew) was driving her insane and she couldn’t shake it. Wondering what she was going to do to blow up her life, thus keeping to her long-standing pattern, was nerve-wracking. It was typically the first sign of her impending doom since it triggered her impulsivity.

_What’s the point? I mean, I go around in this damn circle- building something good until I fuck it up and lose it all. Then, I learn absolutely nothing, rinse, and repeat. Seriously, what’s the point of my life?_

Then there was the way it attacked what remained of her self-esteem, something that had been getting better, off and on. It was still small and fragile so this feeling of cramped anxiety ready to spring like a Jack-in-the-Box on meth only resulted in beating it back down. 

The image of a nasty-looking psycho Jack-in-the-box clown popping out to beat a tiny version of herself into the ground like a nail with a giant mallet made Kim snort loudly. 

She winced. Thankfully, Trini didn’t stir. 

_I’m having an existential crisis-induced panic attack at 4 AM,_ she realized with an eye-roll. _I need to at least try to get some sleep. Zack’s party is in a few hours and I’m not gonna fuck it up. I’m too excited for him; he has to have a good time. I can’t screw this up!_

 _“You’re going to,”_ her inner voice chided. _“Somehow, you’ll make it about you and ruin it for Zack.”_

 _Shut up,_ Kim huffed mentally. Usually, she could ignore that voice but when she was stressed or tired it grew louder and progressively more relentless.

Sighing heavily, she rolled away from Trini onto her other side and closed her eyes in the hope of getting some rest. She started counting her breaths in an attempt to fall asleep. Between breaths 35 and 36, Trini began to stir and move beneath the sheets but Kim thought nothing of it. Trini was sometimes restless and Kim wouldn’t be surprised if she was tonight since they were both so excited about the next morning. 

She nearly jumped out of her skin when the smaller body curled up behind her as the Big Spoon.

“Sssh,” Trini rasped, barely awake. “‘s jus’ me.” 

Kim nodded and answered with a hum. Trini’s body was deliciously sleep warm and she smelled like their shared brand of toothpaste, a little like sugar, and something intrinsically Trini.

 _Sunshine. Safety,_ Kim’s mind sent her random words. 

“Yer not sleepin’,” Trini muttered. 

“I am,” Kim lied around a yawn.

“Liar,” Trini called her bluff.

“...”

“C’mere,” the Yellow Ranger murmured and threw her arm over Kim using it to pull the taller girl in closer. The hug was tight, protective and Trini didn’t let go once they were resettled. Instead, she twisted their legs together, further tangling them in the bed. If she were more awake, she would likely feel embarrassed by how intimate the position was but right now Kim’s comfort was more important. 

Kim felt surrounded and safe with the way Trini was holding her. A strange sense of calm washed over her, almost like warm water from a shower on a chilly day. The touch chased away the cold that always hung to the edges of her being. 

“Go ‘t sleep,” Trini told her softly. “‘m right here. Yer safe.”

Kim almost laughed; of all things right now, she wasn’t worried about her safety.

“An’ ‘m not goin’ anywhere.”

Kim’s silent laughter died in her throat. Trini kept promising her that like she knew how terrified she was of driving Trini away or something. It made her nervous in a completely different way.

She wasn’t used to being seen so clearly.

“I…”

“Sleeeep,” Trini droned in a zombie-like voice that made Kim giggle. It broke what had become a tense moment for her. 

“Sleeeep,” she repeated. “Got it.” Trini grunted at her. “Thanks.” 

“Nrrrmmmph.”

-

The next morning, Kim and Trini went to pick up the twins (although Kim stayed in the car) while Billy, Jason, and Pearl finished putting the last minute touches on the house. 

The night before, Kim and Trini had searched through some boxes and found a trove of leftover decorations from Kim’s past birthdays and while a lot of it was girl-themed things some of it, like streamers and balloons, were suitable for their needs. There wasn’t much given that Kim’s birthday came in the middle of the school year so she celebrated most of them at boarding school. But what they found combined with leftovers from Pearl and the twin’s birthdays, the Hart living room looked more festive than it had in years.

Kim had taken the time to rope off the hallways and close and lock the doors to the rooms that no one was allowed in as well. While she trusted that the guests would be respectful of the space, it was still her home and she wanted to keep everyone corralled in one section without letting them run amok everywhere. She also removed any breakables that were in danger of being knocked over. She didn’t want to have to email her parents about any incidental damages. 

Trini, of course, felt they were all reasonable requests and helped her move furniture around to expand the living room to accommodate the number of guests they were expecting. While Kim’s house was spacious, it never hurt to have more room at a party. It was one time when Kim didn’t put up a fight about letting Trini do some spot vacuuming where the undersides of the furniture had been. There was no way Trini was leaving the prep of the house to Kim alone; that was unfair.

Despite having limited time to plan, the four Rangers managed to pull quite a bit together. It helped that in order to have a place to hold the party, Kim had to contact her parents and in an effort to at least seem interested in her life, they’d encouraged the idea and helped to set it up in their own way. 

During the talk with her parents, the subject eventually came around to Mrs. Taylor. 

Once the Rangers had finalized their party plans, they’d let Zack’s Mom in on them. She’d been thrilled that Zack’s friends were doing so much for him although she’d been sad that she was going to miss it. 

_“That’s not how this works, Mama T,”_ Trini had winked at her.

They weren’t throwing Zack a huge to-do and leaving the center of his universe at home. That wouldn’t do at all. Since they were a group of friends that were the type to wander around each other’s homes eating from the fridge, they were familiar with her and it didn’t seem out of the ordinary to include her there.

Besides, the woman was a pistol and a half who they all adored.

Thanks to Maddy and Ted, the logistics of getting Mrs. Taylor to the Hart house ended up being a lot easier than the Rangers had anticipated. Their plan had hinged on Jason’s Dad helping out and using his truck. Mr. and Mrs. Hart insisted on calling a friend’s car service to pick up Mrs. Taylor the day of the party in a fancy stretch limo which would also take her home whenever she was ready for no fee. 

Or, as Trini suspected, the Harts were covering it. Either way, it was a lot easier than trying to get her up into Sam Scott’s lifted truck.

They also had a nurse on standby should there be any need for assistance which no one really anticipated but it was better to be safe than sorry. Another fee Trini was positive the Harts were covering. She didn’t begrudge them doing so, it actually raised her level of respect for them.

But not by much considering how low the bar was to start with but at least it was a move in a positive direction. Another bonus was how happy the help seemed to be making Kim; that was worth a few more points.

When she and Kim pulled up to the Gomez home, Trini barely had time to get out of the car before Diego rushed out the front door to greet her.

“Trini! Mami’s trying to make us wear ties!” he shouted in a tizzy.

Swearing under her breath and ignoring Kim’s giggle behind her, Trini shut the car door and headed for her house.

“Mama, it’s a birthday party, not church!” she called out when she walked in. 

“They still need to look nice!” June answered from the downstairs bathroom where Matty was whining as she combed his hair back. 

“Who’re you trying to impress?” Trini leaned against the bathroom door. “Really? Slicked back hair? Come on, Mama, it’s an afternoon birthday party. We’re all gonna be playing video games and if the rain holds off, probably some soccer and checking out Kim’s old treehouse. Let them dress for it.”

June looked horrified. “Don’t let them climb trees! They’ll fall and break their arms.”

Trini tried not to roll her eyes where her mother could see; it would only set the woman off into an argument.

“Who knows how stable that old treehouse is. You’re all liable to fall to your deaths or break all of your necks,” June went on ranting. 

“Go put on your play clothes, boys,” Miguel chuckled as he walked in, drying his hands as he finished washing the breakfast dishes. “Junie, you’re being silly. They’re going to eat cupcakes, get all sugared up, and run around playing. There’s no way they’re going to stay clean. Come on.”

June huffed but relented. With hollers of joy, the twins took off for their room to change. Miguel ruffled Matty’s hair on the way by, undoing all the work June had done to get his flyaways under control. 

“Make sure you put on clean clothes! And that they match! You still have to look decent and not like mismatched little orphans!” she called after her youngest children.

The boys giggled at her as they ran upstairs. 

“Everything all set at Kim’s?” Miguel directed his attention to his daughter. “Any last-minute things you need?”

“Nah, it’s all going ok. We got all the cupcakes and the cake made last night. Jason’s family made all the sandwiches and snacks for lunch and Billy’s Mom covered getting the sodas and that stuff. Aside from the pizzas we’re ordering later on, it’s all set.”

“You’re all doing a really wonderful thing for your friend,” June reminded her proudly.

“Is it though?” Trini questioned. “I mean, we missed his birthday in the first place. This is kinda the minimum to make up for it.”

“Sweetie, you can’t read minds; if he didn’t tell you when his birthday was, how were you to know?” Miguel told her gently. “Don’t feel so guilty, especially since you’ve all worked really hard to make it up to him.”

“That’s right. You’re not all letting it go by now that you know; that’s what counts,” June agreed. 

The reassurance went a long way towards making Trini feel better about the situation but she couldn’t kick the sense of guilt she felt. 

_He’s my bro, my buddy. How did I never ask when his birthday is?_ She asked herself many times. _Am I too absorbed with Kim? Like to the point I’ve neglected my other friends?_

That was an accusation her mother made often and the last thing Trini wanted was for the woman to be right. Unfortunately, it was something she sometimes worried about too. The thing was, Trini truly enjoyed being around Kim- just spending time with the other teen. It didn’t matter what they did or if they went anywhere; there was something about Kim’s companionship that Trini sought out. She felt the best when she was around her. 

_I’ve never had a girl who’s a friend like she is so I have no way of knowing if I spend too much time with her. It doesn’t feel like it._

_I want to spend my time with Kim,_ she realized wryly. _God, my crush is getting out of hand. But… Do I need to make more time for Zack? I know I spend most of my time with her and then Zack. I barely spend any time with Jason or Billy unless it’s at school or has to do with Ranger stuff. Should I try to hang with them more? I mean, I like them and all but what would we do one-on-one? Billy I can see learning from but Jason? I’ll end up on a boat and no way in hell is that gonna happen!_

Just the thought of the cold seawater and the smell of rotten fish made her shiver in disgust.

_This is like Billy worrying about hanging out with Zack. I don’t blame him now. I’d have to like, talk, and interact. I hate that shit; it’s tiring. I don’t have to do that much around Zack, he’s a freaking chatterbox. We just hang at the train car or his house and do nothing. I don’t see that working with Jase or Billy._

_When I’m with Kim…. well, Kim is just… easy to be around, easy to talk to. Or not talk to, she doesn’t care. She can talk enough for both of us too although she likes the quiet as much as I do._

_I don’t know what to do._

June picked a piece of fuzz out of Trini’s hair. “Did you sleep on the floor instead of the couch?” she chuckled. 

Trini huffed at her and blushed, deciding not to say the fuzz was from being walloped in the head with a pillow by Kim when they woke up that morning. In Kim’s bed. Together. Apparently brushing out her hair hadn’t gotten all the fuzzies. 

Trini grunted and moved out of her mother’s reach when she grabbed the brush and went for Trini’s hair. “Maaaa…” 

“Sorry, sorry,” June put her hands up. “It’s just this part…” she reached out. “You have such pretty hair.”

“Stop,” Trini said shortly, almost angrily. Her hair was a sore sticking point between the two. Trini had long wanted to trim it short but June wouldn’t let her, threatening all sorts of punishment if she dared. In retaliation, Trini dyed it and the woman went berserk. Vowing to re-dye it black until it grew out properly again, June grounded her for a month. Miguel stopped the black dye job by pointing out that it was probably unhealthy to dye her hair so much and if June wouldn’t let her cut it, he felt Trini old enough to dye it - within reason. No unnatural colors so the blonde ombre was what she stuck with. The braids were another small symbol of her desire for shorter hair. 

If the woman wasn’t going to let her cut it, Trini was going to at least make it her own since she was stuck with it. Until she turned 18, at least.

June put the brush down and cleared her throat awkwardly. 

“The boy’s gifts for Zack are in gift bags by the door,” Miguel broke the tense moment. “We had them pack their backpacks with spare clothes and you know the rest for day trips. I know we’re picking them up long before dinner but you can never tell with those two what they’ll get into or need during the day.”

“Cool. Good,” Trini nodded, trying to shake off the previous moment. She was determined not to let her mother set her off, even accidentally. 

“If you can, try and limit Yeyo’s sugar,” June started. At Trini’s unamused look, she tried to elaborate. “I’m not saying he can’t have cake or a cupcake or two. Just, make sure he has a sandwich and some pizza later on as well. And a little water. You know how they both get if all they eat is sugar but Yeyo’s worse. He might get sick.”

“Yeah, I’ll make sure they both eat real food,” Trini agreed. The last thing she wanted to deal with was a set of sugar-hyped maniacs when it always ended up with one of the twin’s vomiting. 

A short time later, she was loading her little brothers and their bags into Kim’s car. They’d had to move the booster seats over from the family car to Kim’s first since the twins were on the small side but other than that it didn’t take too long.

“You two behave and don’t make your sister and her friends regret inviting you,” Miguel intoned seriously.

“Si, Papi,” Matty and Yeyo answered in unison. 

Kim gave Trini a look that said ‘that was creepy’. 

“You get used to it,” Trini told her. 

“Don’t make a mess, clean up after yourselves if you do,” June listed off as she double-checked their seatbelts. “Wash your hands after you use the restroom, say ‘please’ and ‘thank-you’. Your father and I raised you with manners, use them. Trini will be telling us whether or not you behave later on so you’d better.”

Trini glared at the dashboard. She hated the way her mother was making her sound like a snitch. 

“I’m sure they’ll be great,” Kim chirped with a smile. “I mean, Trini hasn’t broken anything yet and she’s had plenty of opportunities.”

Miguel chuckled at her attempt at joking around while June made a face like she just sucked on a lemon. 

“Just make sure they behave and have a good time,” Miguel said as he shut the car door. “Give us a call if we need to pick one or both of them up early.”

“We’ll be good!”

“We promise!”

“You’ve been invited to a party with older kids so I expect you to be well-behaved,” Miguel told them. “But you’re still allowed to have fun. Now, Trini and Kim are in charge; you listen to them, ok?”

“Yup!”

“Uh-huh!”

“Good.”

“Have a good time! Drive carefully!” June said as Kim pulled away from the curb. 

“They’re going to be fine, honey,” Miguel reassured her. “It’s no different than going to one of their own friends for a party. Better actually since Trini will be there the whole time.”

June looked unconvinced and unfortunately, Miguel couldn’t help but wonder if it had anything to do with the presence of Kimberly Hart.

-

“I can’t believe you guys pulled this off,” Zack laughed about an hour into the surprise party. A full grin was plastered across his face that showed all his teeth, lit up his eyes, and made his dimples pop. 

He’d been caught completely off-guard when he walked in, expecting to find a small party for the twins only to see his own mother (who he thought was visiting their next-door neighbor), the Rangers, Trini’s brothers, Pearl Scott, and to his continued surprise a few of his old buddies from his skateboarding days. They all yelled ‘surprise’ as he walked in and stunned him into a rare moment of silence.

“Don’t act so surprised,” Jason shoulder bumped him. “We can be sneaky without you.”

“Not usually,” Zack joked back. “I’m the sneaky one.”

“Bah,” Kim objected. “I’m the sneaky one.”

“Whatcha doin’?” Trini asked as she came up behind Kim, making her jump.

“Jebus!” Kim swore, trying to watch her language with the little ones around. Trini grinned cheekily at her. “Ok, I get it. Trini’s the sneaky one.”

“Uh-huh, that’s what I thought,” Trini agreed. “Liking it so far, dude?”

“It’s awesome,” Zack smiled, clearly touched. “You didn’t have to…”

“We know but maybe next time don’t try to be all lone wolf and just tell the people in your life when your birthday is,” Kim offered. 

“Yeah,” Billy, who had just walked up after grabbing a cupcake, agreed. “We’re family and want to celebrate you on your day, Zack.”

Dark brown eyes grew wet as his friends spoke. Zack hadn’t thought much about his birthday; it had become something just he and his mother celebrated in whatever little way that they could together. He hadn’t wanted to bother his new friends with it when there was so much going on and when he felt like he’d already intruded in their lives so much already.

He and Trini hung out all the time and he felt that he burdened her with a lot of his problems, like his mother’s condition and his worries. She always listened without judging and was amazingly wise for someone so young.

Kim and Billy helped him with his homework and smoothing things out with some of the administrators at school. That was taking a lot of their time. Kim was also either giving his mother rides to treatment and the doctors or arranging rides for them and refusing repayment.

Jason was doing one-on-one training with him to work on his skills when he could be spending time with the other Rangers or his own family. Plus, Mr. Scott was giving him some extra side work helping with the boat and paying him good money for it.

They were all going out of their way to help him and his mother out. It felt selfish to Zack to mention his birthday as well; he was afraid his friends would see him as ungrateful or greedy.

He was never so glad to be wrong in his life. And seeing his mother right there in the middle of it all, smiling and shouting ‘Surprise!’ the loudest with her hands raised was the best part of the entire thing. 

He knew he’d never have the right words to express to his friends exactly what it meant to him that they all included and loved his mother the way they did. Trini was always losing in chess to her while Billy had managed to beat her a few times. Kim took care of most of their transportation needs for the doctor and took Mrs. Taylor to the library once a month to get a new supply of books to read. Jason was always around helping out with yard work or with the little things around the trailer that Zack couldn’t or didn’t know how to fix. And he loved to sit and watch movies, specifically really bad action movies with Mama; together they laughed at the bad special effects and script. Zack often joined them and to him, it was like sharing something with his mother and brother.

The time and attention did so much for her health and Zack was usually, albeit silently overwhelmed by the simple kindness of his friends. 

Then, there was how they never, ever looked at him with ‘that look’ in their eyes when Mama had a bad day or was sick. Her condition always hung over him as a “known-unknown”- no one knew how much time she had, only that it wasn’t much. Yet, no one made him feel like he was being pitied for the situation or that he was weak when he became upset. They let him vent or rant. He knew he could even cry safely around them.

He and his Mom sent many prayers of thanks for his four new friends and all the energy and joy they brought into both lives.

“Yeah, I just…” Zack began his throat a bit tight. He cleared it. “I will,” he nodded. “It was last week, by the way. November 11th.”

“Duh,” Trini rolled her eyes and walked away to check on her brothers.

“We know that now, thanks to Ashton,” Billy smiled. 

“Yeah, about that,” Zack started, “how did you get them to come? I thought they hated me.”

“Gosh no!” Billy exclaimed. “They don’t feel that way at all. You should go talk to Ashton.”

“Yeah, I agree,” Jason said. 

Kim nodded her agreement. “Yeah, obviously they’re happy to be here.” She used her chin to gesture towards where Ashton and two other skaters, Felix and Deke were playing a game of Mario Kart with Pearl while Felix's girlfriend Jenna cheered Pearl on. The other ‘former friend’ was having fun as well; a huge wall of a man known as Cheddar was watching everything with a smile on his face, just chilling on the couch. 

“You know what? I think I will,” Zack grinned. “I haven’t talked to them in what feels like forever.”

Across the room, the joyous expression on Zack’s face was mirrored on his mother’s as she sat in the comfiest chair in Kim’s living room playing a _Spider-Man_ themed version of _Chutes & Ladders _ with Matty, Yeyo, Felix, and Deke. A small rain shower was passing by so the party was stuck indoors and Mrs. Taylor was loving the time with the little ones and Pearl just as much as her son’s friends. It was nice to see Felix and Deke again after Zack had fallen away from his friends in the past.

The game was picked by Yeyo; he won the honor of picking the first one by rolling the highest number on a 6-sided die. Next, Pearl wanted to play her Star Wars themed children’s Monopoly, and then if it was still raining after lunch, Matty had chosen Uno. If they could go play outside, he wanted to go check out Kim’s mysterious (at least to those who hadn’t seen it) treehouse. Thanks to Kim’s extensive Disney DVD/Blu-Ray collection, there was a movie playing in the background in a small side room if they’d rather do that and they could nap in there as well.

“So far, so good,” Kim whispered to Trini when the shorter girl returned to the kitchen. 

“Yeah, the brats are behaving,” Trini mumbled into her cup of soda.

“I meant the whole party but yeah them too,” Kim giggled. “I meant I think we can call this a success.”

“Oh yeah, sure,” Trini agreed with a firm nod. She was feeling pretty proud of pulling it off. The unfiltered joy coming over the Ranger link from Zack was enough to keep all of them in a great mood, not that she had any reason not to be in one already. “I’m relieved.”

“Me too, especially given how most things I touch turn to shit.”

Thrown off-guard by the left-field statement, Trini almost spat out her soda. “They do not.”

Kim gave her a lopsided smile. “Not this time. You haven’t known me long enough to know how I usually screw these types of things up. Usually with some unnecessary drama. Thankfully, you’re here to keep me from doing that.”

Trini opened her mouth and then shut it. She was quiet for so long Kim began to think she upset her. 

“I think sometimes you get confused,” Trini said softly into her cup. Her eyebrows knit together for a moment as she contemplated her soda and then she shrugged. Her eyes tracked back up but didn’t look at Kim, focusing instead towards the living room but didn’t really see anything. “It’s weird.”

“Huh?” Now Kim was actually confused.

Trini looked back down at her soda as if the orange liquid held the answers. “Who you are versus who you were. Past versus present.” She swirled the liquid in the cup. “You get caught up in what old you would’ve done before and then worry about it. You risk missing the moment you’re in.”

Listening, Kim let that comment sit for a moment before she responded. 

“I worry that’s still me,” she admitted.

Trini took a long sip of her drink. “The potential’s there, yeah sure but…” a smirk pulled at the right side of her lips, “you’ve gotten better, maybe even a little smarter. You know, thanks to my influence.”

“You little shi…” Kim started with a laugh.

“Enjoy the moment, Kimberly,” Trini laughed with her. “We earned it. Look at Zack.”

Kim looked over at her friend to see him sitting and laughing with Ashton and his skater buddies, clearly catching up on lost time. Jason and Billy were listening in closely to whatever story was being told, getting to know Zack’s old friends, and expanding their circle of friends at the same time. 

In the middle of it all, Zack was practically glowing with happiness. 

“It’s too late, Hart,” Trini elbowed her gently, “you can’t screw this up. It’s done.”

“Ug, don’t challenge me,” Kim groaned. “My dumb ass will find a way.”

“Hey, stop,” Trini said seriously. “You did good here. It’s ok to let yourself feel like it. You don’t have to feel guilty for being proud we pulled this off.”

“Did you develop this mind-reading as a new ability recently?” Kim joked to deflect when Trini’s comment hit too close to home. 

Leaning back against the counter, Trini shook her head. “Nah, I just feel the same, sorta. I’m really proud we pulled this all off but what kinda friend doesn’t know when your birthday is?”

“When’s yours?” Kim asked suddenly.

Arching an eyebrow, Trini challenged her. “You don’t know?”

“Of course I do but I didn’t want to seem creepy,” Kim blushed. “May the Fourth be with you, by the way.”

“Har, har,” Trini rolled her eyes. She had a lifetime of that ahead of her. 

“You know mine thanks to my Dad.”

“Valentine’s baby,” Trini teased. 

“Preemie baby,” Kim reminded with a smile. “Should’ve been closer to a July 4th baby, maybe.”

“Maybe baby,” Trini giggled and then stopped. “Wow, I’ve had too much sugar and it’s not even noon.”

“Not enough sugar, you mean!” Kim declared as she refilled Trini’s orange soda. “That’s better.” They grinned at each other goofily. “And thanks. I feel a bit better.”

“Yeah, no prob,” the smaller teen mumbled, embarrassed.

“Trini! Yeyo got frosting in my hair!” Matty yelled from the living room.

“How in the hell- All right! Be right there!” Trini called back. She rolled her eyes at a giggling Kim, grabbed the paper towels, and headed towards her little brother. “Put the cupcake wrapper in the garbage, Yeyo, and go wash your hands.”

“I didn’t mean to!” Yeyo defended himself, his eyes wide almost in a panic. “Please don’t tell Mami and Papi!” This was his first big kid’s party and he desperately didn’t want to get into trouble. He’d never be allowed to go out anywhere with Trini and her friends again. This was the sort of thing he’d do if he was acting out but he wasn’t; it was a complete accident. He was having a really good time making new friends and Mrs. Taylor felt like a new Abuela to him.

He felt you could never have too many of them especially when they were as nice as she was.

“He was putting it to the side of his plate when it stuck to his hand. He shook it out and well, it landed on Matty,” Mrs. Taylor explained with mirth. “Not a very nice hat but Matty made it look cute.”

“Better you than the carpet or furniture,” Trini joked, making Matty giggle as his sister wiped the minimal frosting from his hair. “There, no big deal.”

“Really? I’m not in trouble?” Yeyo asked nervously. He looked close to tears.

“Not even if you accidentally spilled soda,” Kim came in with a package of wet wipes and told him. She made sure to stress the word ‘accidentally’. “Accidents happen, Sweetie. It’s ok.” She looked over at Trini to make sure she hadn’t overstepped a boundary. Trini nodded and handed her brother some wet wipes. 

“Just don’t go flinging things around next time, ok?” Trini explained. Diego visibly relaxed when Trini ruffled his hair. “Clean your hands. The next drink is water for you both, too.”

“Ok!” the twins both chirped, happy to listen to her especially since she was in such a good mood. Yeyo was so happy at not being in trouble he wouldn’t have had any more cake if she asked. 

Or at least tried. The cupcakes were really good. 

“The cupcakes are very good,” Pearl said politely from nearby as she raced Jason in Mario Kart.

“So are the sandwiches you made,” Kim responded. 

Pearl grinned happily for a moment before sending a fed-up look at her brother. “We would have had more egg salad ones but Jason ate them.”

“Not sorry!” Jason announced as he fought to hold on to first place from Deke, Felix, Jenna, and Pearl respectively.

“Ok, then. I’m not sorry for this,” Pearl retorted and hit a button.

“What the-! OH! NO! You blue-shelled me?” Jason cried out as his lead was lost and Pearl’s Toad avatar raced by him. “Oh man, I was so far ahead! I almost had that! I almost had a record on this track! Come on!” The pout on his face was epic. Pearl was so, so very proud.

“That’s for eating all the egg salad!” Pearl laughed.

“Dang, Jase, your little sister is savage!” Felix laughed. 

“I’m calling it now, she’s on my team whatever team games we’re playing!” Deke declared.

Grinning, Kim looked up to catch Trini giving her a facial expression that said ‘See? I told you you couldn’t screw it up’. 

In return, Kim shrugged sheepishly. Her inner voice told her Trini was wrong and the moment would come when she’d do _something_ to bring the mood down but she was more inclined to trust Trini today than that pesky voice. 

“Woohoo! Third!” Pearl cheered herself. “Jason came in fifth!”

Jason looked at his sister sadly. “If it makes you feel any better, you and Mom make really good egg salad and I just can’t help myself.”

Pearl’s knowing eyes narrowed. “It’s eggs, mayonnaise, and paprika. Nothing fancy.”

“And love. Don’t forget the love,” Jason added, batting his eyes.

“Ug why are you so weird?” Pearl whined and pushed at his face. He pulled her into a side hug.

“Forgive meeeee,” he begged as she squirmed.

“All right! All right! Just let go! You smell like cologne! Ew!” the fourth-grader escaped her brother’s light grasp with a giggle. “I forgive you just stop being weird. Look, everyone’s staring.”

Jason looked at all his friends looking at them. “Yeah. This is normal, right Trini?”

“Basically,” Trini said dryly.

“Makes me kinda glad to be an only child,” Kim lied through her teeth. The only person to see through it, however, was Trini.

“Same,” was echoed by Zack, Jenna, Felix, and Cheddar. 

“Not me,” Billy interjected. “I always sort of wished I had a sibling. A brother or a sister, it didn’t matter. I wasn’t understood well when I was younger so other children didn’t want to be friends with me. I was lonely a lot then so I think having a sibling would have helped things.”

“Probably,” Kim agreed.

Billy tilted his head thoughtfully. “Well, that’s the thing I’ve realized. As you get older, you start to like, collect people. You end up having 2 families; the family you’re born into and the family you choose. I still have my Mom but I feel like I have siblings now, too. 2 of each which is a nice even split.”

“Aw, Billy,” Zack said softly. 

“You’re a brother to me, Zack. I know we don’t hang out together without Jason there much but I’d like to sometime. Maybe we can talk and find something we’re both interested in?”

“Sure dude,” Zack agreed, trying not to show how affected he was by Billy’s words. “That’d be awesome.” He was watching a little family solidify around himself in real-time and didn’t know how to process it. It was beyond wonderful. The best birthday ever.

“Yo, man, you’re a member of our family too,” Ashton said gently. He smiled at Billy. “No competition, bro.”

“No competition?” Deke scoffed. “Wait ‘til we get them to the ‘park.” 

“Shut it, dude,” Felix shoved him affectionately. They batted at each other like a pair of bored cats.

Ashton rolled his eyes and looked at Zack; this was how Deke and Felix usually got along so it was nothing new. For Zack, it was nice to see nothing had changed.

“We wanted to do something to show you that we know we screwed up by not being there for you when you needed us,” the blonde skater went on. “When you dropped off, we shoulda gone after you and checked on you instead of just letting you leave. It was shi-”

A very stern glare from Trini made Ashton cut himself off in mid-word.

“It wasn’t something that friends should do,” Ashton corrected himself. “And we’re really sorry that we did.” 

“Dude, we were all kids,” Zack tried to tell him.

“Still, you needed us and we bailed. Not cool,” Deke shook his head. 

“But we’re here now,” Felix offered with a kind look at Mrs. Taylor. 

Cheddar handed Zack a medium-sized present. “We wanted you to have this. It’s not much but it’s kinda special. We know what it meant to you.”

Zack’s jaw dropped when he opened the box. Staring back up at him was his beautiful if somewhat scuffed up Blind skateboard deck that he sold for cash in order to pay for a procedure for his mother a few years earlier. 

“H-how?” he asked, stunned. “I sold it to Zipper years ago.”

“Zipper never resold it,” Ashton explained. “He knew why you were selling it and kept it around the shop in case you ever came back. But you never did. Eventually, he sold the wheels and trucks but kept the deck.”

"I wondered why he gave me so much for it."

“We put new trucks, wheels, all new hardware on it so you can use it if you want,” Cheddar said proudly. “Top of the line cuz it’s only the best for you, my man. We missed you.”

“Or you can display it instead,” Felix added. “We wanted it to look sick for whichever.”

Zack took the board out of the box and stared at it. It looked just like he remembered although it was quite a bit cleaner. 

“How many lawns did you mow to buy that?” Mrs. Taylor asked teasingly. “At five dollars a lawn?” Most of the lawns in Zack’s area amounted to trailers that were lucky to have a small patch in the front and rarely a slightly larger patch in the back. There were so many landscaping companies working that he was lucky to find those jobs. 

“Dozens,” Ashton laughed. “He was always covered in grass clippings one summer.”

“43,” Zack whispered as he held the board in his hands. “Along with washing cars, clearing gutters, running errands, and some other stuff. I bought all the pieces separate to get just what I wanted so it took forever to put it all together.”

“We wanted you to have it back,” Deke told him.

“Zipper threw in some grip tape,” Jenna told him. “And a few other small things. He says hello.”

“Holy shhhnickies, Zipper’s still alive?” Zack asked.

Ashton nodded. “He’s mostly dust and his son runs most of the shop now but he sits out front and tells stories.”

“Aw man, I’m gonna have to go down and say hi,” Zack planned.

“Let us know when you do and we’ll all go,” Ashton suggested.

“I’d really like that, man. Thanks for this,” Zack said, exchanging an intricate handshake with Ashton. 

“No problem,” Ashton bumped him. 

“Is it gift time?” Kim asked hopefully. 

“Please tell me you guys didn’t,” Zack groaned. “The party is already too much.”

“It’s not a birthday party without presents,” Matty declared. It was hard to argue with the logic of a seven-year-old. 

“Besides, none of us are really rolling in cash- aside from Kim,” Trini joked, getting an annoyed side-eye from the said teen. “So the gifts are nowhere near as nice as the board.”

“Still, you didn’t have to,” Zack objected.

“But we did,” Jason said, dropping a box in the Asian’s lap. “Now shut up and open them.”

His gifts included a new soccer ball from the twins and a new dress shirt, suit jacket, and tie from Jason, Pearl, and the Scotts. Jason told him that his father Sam believed nothing could get you further in life than having 3 simple things; a firm handshake, the balls to look people in the eye, and at least one set of a suit jacket, shirt, and matching tie. You could worry about your pants later but your appearance from the waist up? That was important.

It was also expensive and Zack knew it. Not only that, but it was also something his father would have handled if he was around, taking him for his first suit. His throat grew tight when he tried to say thanks but thankfully Jason understood and threw out a joke.

“It needs to be properly fitted by a tailor and so does mine. I thought we could go together and have a _spa_ day,” he elbowed his friend as he used a snobby voice. “Just us. See what kind of trouble we can get into.”

“Oh dear,” Mrs. Taylor said in mock horror.

“Just what we need,” Trini groaned.

Jason grinned at Zack.

“Do you like it?” Pearl asked, worriedly. “I thought the dark purple was nice without being girly,” she indicated the soft shirt. 

“I love it, Pearl,” Zack said sincerely. “Thank you so much.”

Billy gave him some books on gardening specific to their climate and soil as well as a gift certificate to the actual garden store, not the big box imitation version. He had wanted to buy some tools for Zack himself but then decided that it was better to let his friend pick out what he wanted instead. 

Kim bought him a refurbished iPad from Apple to do his homework on since he broke his laptop recently. It was the newest model and had only suffered from a loose plug problem before repair; Kim had done her research. She loved him but he had a habit of treating iPads and laptops like she did cell phones. It had the best warranty on it though.

Under her breath, Trini mumbled her displeasure. Jason’s parents and Billy’s Mom had obviously chipped in on their presents. The only thing Trini’s parents had done to help with gifts was put a few dollars towards what the twins bought. This left her with what felt like the lamest gift.

“‘Fraid mine’s nothing fancy,” she gruffed as he unwrapped it. 

“Trini, these are awesome!” Zack said excitedly when he unboxed the jet black with purple LED lighting headphones. His were on their last legs with sound only in one ear; these were noise-canceling and (allegedly) drop-proof. After reading the box, he eyed her. “And expensive.”

“Nah,” Trini shook her head, “I’ve got a frequent buyer thing with them; it was actually a deal.” She wasn’t going to tell him that it was last year’s model and she basically only paid for shipping. That was why the gift felt so lame to her- it looked expensive but cost her less than $10. She felt cheap and like a fake friend.

Trini frowned at herself. _I need to shake that. I keep telling Kim it’s not about money and she doesn’t have to buy my affection, let alone anyone else’s, and I’m over here falling into the same shit trap. No wonder it’s such a tar pit for Kim._

“They’re sweet! Thanks, T,” Zack beamed, taking them from the box to hang around his ears. 

“You’d better take good care of the things your friends give you,” Mrs. Taylor shook her finger at her son who blushed. 

“Mama, I’m sorry about the laptop,” he apologized again. It was another victim of accidental Ranger strength but he’d had to make up another excuse and he wasn’t that great at lying to her.

Mrs. Taylor hummed in that disapproving motherly way.

“At Christmas, you’re all getting gift certificates,” Kim informed them, tongue-in-cheek. She wasn’t sure what she was going to buy them but it wasn’t going to be gift certificates. Then, her face twisted in thought. “If you celebrate it, I mean.”

“One holiday at a time, Princess,” Trini advised.

“Yo, you think my birthday is holiday-worthy?” Zack asked, puffing out his chest proudly.

“I meant Thanksgiving which is 2 weeks away,” Trini deadpanned. Her timing and facial expression sent Ashton and his group into a chorus of howls at the subtle burn while Zack’s Ranger friends all had a good laugh. 

“Ow, I walked right into that,” Zack laughed with them. 

The doorbell rang. 

“That’s probably the pizza,” Jason said. “Be right back.”

“Hey, we’ll help,” Ashton and Deke followed him to the door for the fairly-large incoming pizza order.

“Put your presents somewhere safe,” Mrs. Taylor suggested gently. Zack nodded.

“I’ll put them in my room. They should be good in there,” Kim offered, taking them from Zack when he held them out. 

“Leave the ball, in case it dries out outside,” he asked, taking back the soccer ball from Kim’s burdened arms. The box with the board was a bit awkward. “Do you need a hand?”

“Meh, she’s got me,” Trini spoke up and took the box with the dress clothes from Kim so she could focus on less. 

While she headed upstairs with Kim, the twins approached Cheddar. 

“Why do they call you Cheddar? Is it your real name?” Diego asked curiously. 

Cheddar laughed. “No, my real name is Keoni.”

“Keoni? I’ve never heard it before.”

“You’d hear it more if we went to Hawaii, where I’m originally from,” Cheddar explained. 

“Wow, Hawaii? It’s so pretty there! I wanna go there sometime,” Matty said as he joined his brother in talking. “Do you go back a lot?”

“As often as I can,” Cheddar smiled. “I moved here when I was about your age but I go back all the time. Every summer. I go surfing and hiking. I love it there.”

“Why not call you Keoni though? Is it like calling me Yeyo? Your family did it when you were a baby?”

“Nah, when I moved here the kids had trouble with Keoni and teased me for having a girl’s name.” He leaned in closer to the boys. “In Hawaii, it’s not really a girl’s name. It can be both sure but mostly boys. At least the ones I know. It means ‘God is gracious’.”

“Cool!”

“Neat!”

“I don’t really remember where Cheddar came from but it’s what everyone calls me now,” Keoni confessed honestly. 

“Ashton made funna you?” Matty asked for clarification.

“No, not Ash. I didn’t meet these guys ‘til middle school. By then, the name had stuck.”

“I hope I’m not still Yeyo in middle school,” Diego sighed. “Do you mind being called Cheddar?”

“Nope, not by these guys. They know my real name and all about my life back in Hawaii. Felix and Deke have visited over the summer a few times too. They’re cool and know to call me by Keoni around my family back home,” he winked at the two seven-year-olds. “But Diego, if being called Yeyo bothers you that much, you can tell people.”

“I don’t mind it, not really,” the boy protested softly. 

“And he can’t really tell people, at least not our Mami,” Matty shook his head, saying what his twin wouldn’t. “She doesn’t listen.”

“I have told her,” Diego sighed. “Papi too. But they call Trini that instead of her real name so…” he shrugged. 

“I heard Trini call you Yeyo earlier. Have you told her?”

“Yeah but it don’t bother me when she does it,” Diego was quick to point out. “It don’t sound like she’s calling me a ‘baby’ like when my Mami and Papi say it. I’m not a baby.”

“Ah,” Cheddar caught on. It wasn’t the name itself, it was how it was said. People didn’t give kids enough credit for understanding and being affected by the tone of voice. “Well, I’m gonna call you Diego, if you don’t mind. Is Matty still ok with you?” Matty nodded; the nickname didn’t bother him. “Ok, you both can call me Cheddar or Keoni, ok? Only people I really like get to call me Keoni, though so you gotta stay cool. All right?”

Both boys lit up and nodded. Cheddar fist-bumped them, the contrast in the size of their hands distracting Matty for a moment. He looked down at his tiny hand and back at Cheddar’s. 

By no means a fat man, Cheddar reminded the twins (and most people) of The Rock’s character from Moana if not the Rock himself. Like both, Cheddar was a large buff Polynesian man although unlike the Rock he had long dark hair which he kept in dreads. He had the same large smile, the dimples, and mischievous eyes. He could also move faster than he was given credit for at his size which made him highly sought after by the football coaches. Cheddar, however, had no interest in a sport that’s primary goal was to knock the other player on his ass. He preferred surfing or skating.

“Wow,” Matty muttered, making Cheddar laugh loudly.

“We could even try and come up with a nickname you do like,” Cheddar engaged with Diego. 

The small boy shook his head. “Nah, I wanna be Diego first.”

“That’s cool, man. Get to know you.”

“Are you bothering Cheddar?” Trini groaned playfully as she approached the couch. 

“Do you know his real name?” Diego asked. “Cuz I can’t tell you if you don’t already know.”

Trini and Cheddar exchanged a look. “Keoni? Yeah, but like mine, I only hear it on the first day of school each year and when a substitute comes in. Why’d you get to hear it?”

“I wanted to know why he’s called Cheddar,” Diego admitted. 

“What was the answer?” Trini wondered. 

“Some people are dumb,” Cheddar cleared up with a pointed look. 

“Meanies when he was little,” Matty said with a fierce scowl. 

Trini nodded; that made sense. 

“Jason’s got the pizza all set up in the kitchen. Go get in line for a piece. One piece at a time, both of you. Can you get it yourselves or do you want help?”

“We can do it!” Diego exclaimed.

“We’re all around to help,” Deke said from near the kitchen with a wave. He already had a slice of pizza half hanging from his mouth.

“Ok, great. You can pick either pepperoni or cheese. Remember what happened the last time you tried olives and anchovies.” Both boys made a face that indicated this was a bad experience. 

“Soda with it?” Matty asked hopefully.

“Yes, one soda each with it, then water or juice. You’re both doing really well with the soda and sugar. So far, only good news to tell Mom and Dad. Thank you.” The boys beamed at her and then took off towards the kitchen where the smell of the pizza was wafting from.

“Sorry if they were inappropriate,” Trini offered.

“They weren’t. No foul. You know about Diego’s issue with being called ‘Yeyo’, right?” Cheddar asked.

Trini nodded. “Yeah, I would too. He’s got ADHD so Mom tries to shelter him from everything and he’s getting old enough to notice.”

“And Matty?”

She shook her head. “Nope.”

Cheddar winced. “Ouch, that’s tough.”

“Yeah. He’s just as smart as Matty but can’t focus or sit still so it doesn’t always seem it. So Mom treats Diego kinda like he’s behind or something? He’s frustrated enough feeling like he has to compete with Matty and then there’s Mom babying him over it. She means the best but… yeah.”

“Aw, man. I’m sorry. He seems like such a sweet little dude. They both do.”

“They are,” Trini admitted. “Little hellions most of the time but they can be sweet. But Diego’s kinda lucky right now; most of our Mom’s time is spent freaking out over everything I’m doing to ruin my life.”

“Oh that’s even worse,” Cheddar groaned.

“Trust me, I know.”

“Hope it gets better for you, fam,” the skater said, exchanging fist bumps. 

“Trini! Matty stole pepperoni off my slice!”

“Excuse me, double-trouble calls,” Trini excused herself as Cheddar chuckled.

“No worries. Go save the pepperoni pizza; I want some too.”

Turning towards the kitchen, Trini bellowed, “What did I just say about only good news for Mom and Dad?”

“I put it back!”

“You licked it first!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“Did too-”

“Ok, who’s going to time-out?” Trini asked as she arrived at where her brothers stood arguing. They both fell silent and pouted at the floor. “Come on, you two. One of you is lying and either you admit it or you both get a time-out. It’s one o’clock so maybe an hour nap might be good?”

“No!”

“Oh please no! We’re sorry!”

“I’d kill for a nap,” Kim said absently as she refilled her soda.

“Not helping,” Trini sing-sang back at her. Kim sipped her soda, shrugged, and walked away. “Do I need to ask someone else what happened?”

“No, I took a pepperoni from his slice,” Matty admitted. “But I did not lick it!”

Trini looked at Diego.

“Fine, he didn’t but he didn’t wash his hands before he touched it and I don’t wanna eat it now.”

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, Trini sighed. “Ok, fair enough. I’ll get you a new slice. You, Mateo, go wash your hands and then sit on the couch near Mrs. Taylor. I’ll bring your slice over in a few minutes.” 

“I got it!” Felix said, grabbing Matty’s plate and slapping a slice on it. “I got Cheddar’s plate too. No big.” He smiled and nodded at Trini before walking away.

She was really starting to like Zack’s friends. 

“I’m sorry, Trini,” Matty said sadly. “Are gonna tell Mami and Papi?”

“Not if you behave from here on out, ok?”

He nodded enthusiastically.

“Now, apologize to Yeyo. You know better.”

“I’m sorry. I was mad you cut me in line,” Matty toed at the floor.

“I shouldna cut. I’m sorry too,” Yeyo responded with his head down.

“Good job,” Trini praised before ruffling Matty’s hair. “Now go.”

Matty followed Felix out of the kitchen, grateful to not be in any more trouble. 

Trini redirected to Diego. “Hey, don’t fib especially to me, got it?” 

He nodded. “I’m sorry, Trini. I won’t lie to you anymore. Can I sit with Keoni?” he asked meekly.

“If he doesn’t mind so ask first,” she directed him. “Here’s a new slice. Sit away from Matty. You’re on a time-out from one another for the time being.” Diego turned to walk away. “Hang on,” Trini stopped him and then stripped all the pepperoni off another slice to give to him. “There, go eat those in front of him; it’ll serve him right for stealing yours.”

Diego giggled and ran off to sit across from his brother and visually rub in eating all the extra pepperoni.

Trini resigned herself to eating the pepperoni-less slice. 

“You’re such a softie,” Jason teased. 

“Bite me, Scott,” Trini growled. 

Putting his hands up, Jason laughed. “Hey, easy does it. Don’t worry, I’m still scared of you. I know the softness is only there for your brothers.” He wisely left off his _And Kim_ afterthought. 

“Eh, some days, when they deserve it,” she grumbled. Jason laughed, took his piled-up plate full of pizza, breadsticks, and various chicken wings and made a plate for Pearl before he headed to the living room to eat just as Kim wandered back into the kitchen.

“I’m starved,” the taller girl mentioned. 

“When are you not?” Trini snorted. 

Kim stuck out her tongue before spearing a garlic & parmesan boneless chicken wing with a fork. She let out a hum of appreciation that bordered on a moan that was just a hair away from indecent.

It made the hairs on the back of Trini’s neck and arms stand up and she fought to control the shiver that wanted to run down her spine at the sound.

 _Fuuuuuck_ , she thought as her mind sent her images she shouldn’t be thinking at a birthday party where her brothers were in attendance. _Innocent thoughts, Trini. Kittens, puppies, Kim in a bikini… no, no not helping…_

“I need to quit with the caffeine,” she announced randomly. Kim arched an eyebrow and retrieved a green tea from the fridge without a word. Trini blinked at the bottle blankly for a moment before taking it. “Uh, thanks.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

They quietly filled their plates and then stood together leaning on the kitchen counter watching the rest of the party relax and eat in the living room. Zack, Jason, and Billy were deeply engaged in a conversation with Ashton, Deke, and Felix. Pearl and Jenna were chatting away while Matty and Mrs. Taylor were laughing about something as she wiped pizza sauce from his chin. That left Diego and Cheddar; Diego was looking up at the big man with almost a sense of awe as he listened, pizza almost completely forgotten on his plate.

“I think Yeyo has a new hero,” Kim teased playfully. “The Yellow Ranger will be heartbroken.”

“She’ll recover, I’m sure,” Trini scoffed back with a smirk. “She’s resilient.”

“Oh, I know she is,” Kim said in a low warm tone. 

Combined with the earlier moan and her racy thoughts, Trini found the tone of voice sexy and blushed hard. 

_Someone kill me_ , she mentally groaned. _Before she does by accident._

Unaware of her friend’s thoughts, Kim grinned at the blush that rushed up Trini’s ears. Anytime she could get such a reaction from the smaller teen was a rush to her but she decided today wasn’t the day to press it. “Thanks for all the help.”

Immensely grateful for the change in tone, Trini shook her head. “No, thank _you_ for all the help. I came to you for help so, thank you.”

“Tomato, tomato,” Kim shrugged. Both words were said the same. 

Trini couldn’t help missing Kim’s accent; it felt wrong to be in Kim’s own home and not hear it.

“You’re so weird.”

“You love it.”

_Yeah, I kinda do._


	6. After the Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: Language, Zack, trigger warnings: mental health issues, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, shitty self-talk.
> 
> All parties have to end, even the good ones. The boys stick around for videogames while Kim and Trini have some time to themselves. Will a close moment lead to more or end in disaster?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey,  
> Still at it. And still having personal issues but my escape is this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Things do start to slope down and pick up soon as well so, stay tuned. 
> 
> Thanks for everything.

The party carried on throughout the afternoon with the intermittent rain keeping them mostly indoors, not that anyone really minded. While Kim couldn’t get a nap in, Diego had a sugar crash at one point and fell asleep on the couch curled up against Cheddar who tucked a blanket over him. During the one brief break in the rain, Felix and Deke started to teach Matty how to (safely) skateboard with one of them nearby or holding onto him at all times in case he fell. Neither teen wanted to face Trini if her brother got hurt.

Trini didn’t want to face her mother if her brother got hurt; she’d never, ever hear the end of it. Or be trusted with so much as the family garbage can again. 

Eventually, as all parties do, it came to an end. The twins were picked up around 4 while the gang of skaters headed out shortly after. They made plans to hang out with Zack as well as the other Rangers before they left, promising again that they were in his life to stay and wouldn’t disappear the way they had in the past.

By the time he waved good-bye to his mother and the health aide as they left in the car the Harts provided, Zack’s cheeks hurt from smiling so much. He turned and walked back into the house, closing the door behind him and taking a look at his Ranger friends.

Jason and Billy were sitting on chairs playing a fighting game while Kim and Trini sat a reasonable distance away but still close together on the couch, both buried in their phones.

_ Probably texting each other _ , Zack snorted to himself. 

Grinning he dove over the arm of the couch towards Trini, the light force of his shove pushing her into Kim’s lap as he landed on them. They both looked startled and Trini dropped her phone. 

“Tthaaaaaaaankkkk yooooooooou!” he howled at a level Trini thought was obnoxious. 

“Dude!” she complained. She didn’t mind being pressed up against Kim but she could do without Zack’s added dead weight. The way his body felt against hers was nothing like the feel of Kim’s, or any female’s. It was uncomfortable and really off-putting. “Get off!” she shoved at him.

“Thank you for my party!” Zack sang. He hugged her.

“Ug, it was Billy’s idea first!” Trini protested the affection. She didn’t appreciate being able to feel Kim chuckling under her. “‘S not funny!” 

“Please don’t,” Billy looked at the way they were splayed out on the couch in horror.

“See? I can’t express my love to Billy like this; you have to take it!” Zack declared when Trini pushed him again.

“No, I don’t! Go hug Jason! I’m allergic!”

Kim laughed out loud at that as her hands grasped Trini’s hips in a bid to steady her and keep her from falling off the couch.

“Shut up! Get off!” Trini directed the second half of her comments solely at Zack. The feel of Kim’s strong hands on her hips was distracting; she wanted to lean into it more but stopped herself. Melting into Kim would be embarrassing and do nothing to get Zack’s pressing body off of her. “OFF!”

“Go on, Zack. She doesn’t consent to your love and affection,” Kim snickered. She put her hand up when he shifted towards her. “Let me stop you right there, big guy. You’re welcome. Now, move on.” She made a little shooing motion with her hand before wrapping that arm over Trini protectively. 

Zack found the protective move adorable and got up with a laugh before he tackled Jason, directing his energy towards him.

“Aw come on! I was winning!” Jason complained. “What is it with you guys and not letting me win today?”

“I don’t ‘let’ you win anything,” Billy protested. His tone said he was insulted. “You either win on your own merit or you lose. Otherwise, you don’t learn and improve.” He tilted his head. “You could stand to improve in this game.”

Four jaws dropped, three in shocked amusement, and one in pure shock. Kim let out a bark of laughter before she could stop herself.

“Oooooo,” Trini snickered. 

“Rude,” Jason grumbled although the smile made it clear he wasn’t actually upset.

“No, just honest,” Billy chirped. His expression then turned sly. “Although you are much better at this game than Zack. He just mashes the buttons and hopes for the best.”

Trini and Kim, unmoved from the positions they landed in when Zack jumped on them both let out low whistles at the playful burn.

“Slander! That is blasphemy!” Zack announced. “I am not a button masher! I’m a pro-gamer! Move over, I’ll show you how to play this.” 

“There’s no need; I already have the highest score by quite a multiplier,” Billy said without a hint of ego. It was a fact listed there on the screen. 

“Jason, do you hear this man? He thinks he’s better at this game than I am,” Zack said in mock outrage.

“He is,” Jason shrugged. “So am I. Hell, Trini’s score is higher than yours…”

“Gimme that controller…” Zack growled. “I’ll show you both.”

The three boys settled into a 3-way tournament in their fighting game leaving the girls to their own thing on the couch. Trini shifted so that her head was resting on Kim’s thigh while the rest of her was stretched out on the couch. 

“You wanna stay here or head upstairs for a movie?” Kim asked, her hand starting to brush through Trini’s soft hair. She was looking at her phone again, not paying much attention to her other hand. It was almost automatic the way she reached out to touch Trini; without thought or hesitation. Like they sat like this regularly which they didn’t. Typically, they sat side by side. This position was new. 

And yet, Trini realized, she’d slid into it naturally without thinking of what the guys would think of such a comfy, cuddly show of affection, especially from her. 

Such dropping of her defenses was unlike her and it made her uneasy. 

The answering skritch of Kim’s blunt fingernails on her scalp immediately calmed her and she had to actively work to prevent the contented purr caught in her chest from being audible. 

_ I must be really tired or coming down from my sugar high _ , she rationalized her reactions. 

The soft press of a thumb between her eyebrows jolted her.

“You’re scowling,” Kim said gently. “Don’t. It gives you a groove, right here.” A soothing wave of calm accompanied her words over their shared link. “The guys aren’t paying attention. It’s ok to just lay down and rest. You’re tired.”

A yawn overcame Trini before she could answer, surprising her. She tried and failed to glare at the smirk on Kim’s face. “Who’s reading minds now?” she asked in a call-back to Kim’s earlier comment. The question likely came from a similar sense of unease. 

“Once in a while, you’re easy to read. Like now when you’re so tired,” Kim shrugged. “You’re like a grumpy, sleepy kitten.”

Trini made a face at the comparison. “Nu-uh, an’ I shouldn’t be tired. It’s not even 6 on a Saturday,” she pouted. 

The effect only made her achingly adorable to Kim. “Oh well,” she sighed but without any tone of apology. It made Trini frown comically. “It’s been a long day though. You have to admit that.”

Trini grunted in response. It was more of an annoyed huff of air than a sound.   
“Wanna go upstairs and nap?”

“Nah, I’ll just rest here,” Trini answered, lowering her head onto Kim’s thigh again. It was too late to move now since she was already there, really. Plus, she was comfortable. 

Kim pulled the blanket that was slung over the back of the couch down and put it over her friend. Once Trini was settled in and still, she returned to her phone.

“Those cheer-bitches bothering you?” Trini asked softly. She was ready to go at them if they were but she’d rather nap.

Kim frowned. “No, actually. It’s weird.”

For a moment, Trini wondered if Kim was lying but the honest surprise in the older teen’s voice dismissed the thought. 

To further that, without prompting Kim showed her the ‘received’ section of her texts. The ones from Amanda and Harper had stopped sometime around ten am that day. After that, it was only texts between the two of them, a few with her parents, other family members Trini assumed, and the school server announcements. There were no messages from Kim’s former friends unless Kim had already deleted them.

But Trini was more than willing to give Kim the benefit of the doubt given how the usually lost expression that flickered across Kim’s features each time another vile text was read hadn’t appeared all day. Neither had the defeated slump to usually proud shoulders. Best of all, Kim’s end of the link was as open as it ever was. While not wide open, it wasn’t dull or static. She was freely giving off happiness, contentment, and now not a small measure of confusion but that was understandable. 

The signs Trini was learning to relate to the hurt inflicted by those texts were all absent. Throughout the entire day, Kim was available -so to speak- physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

Her cell phone hadn’t been poisoning her all afternoon for the first time since Trini met her. 

“Weird but welcome,” she responded sleepily. None of her alarm bells were going off. If anything, this development was the highlight of the day.

“Hell yeah,” Kim murmured. “I just wish it didn’t make me nervous.”

“Mmm, whatever it is, we’ll deal with it.”

Kim hummed in discomfort.

“Let yourself enjoy the quiet…” Trini began just as Zack let out a whoop of excitement. “Relatively speaking.” She smiled to herself when Kim bounced a coaster off his head and shushed him. Satisfied that the two couldn’t hurt each other, she closed her eyes. 

Zack whipped the coaster back at Kim. Challenge accepted, they tossed a few back and forth until the last one which almost hit Kim square in the face.

Kim ducked out of the way.  _ Missed me _ , she mouthed with a smug look. Then she stuck her tongue out triumphantly. 

Zack made a shocked face before he glanced at Trini and wagged his eyebrows, his expression inquisitive. He motioned towards her hand which had taken up its place in Trini’s hair again, absently stroking through the impossibly soft locks.

Her hand stuttered to a stop to which Trini shifted unhappily. Glaring at Zack, Kim considered throwing the metal coaster holder, possibly the lamp at him but decided against it since they were celebrating his birthday. Instead, she took her hand from Trini’s hair and put it in her lap.

He made a little heart on his chest with his fingers.

Kim sent up a quiet prayer that Trini didn’t catch him since it would end in his death and blood was hard to get out of a cream-colored carpet. 

“Dude, pay attention,” Jason scolded him with an elbow to the ribs. “It’s your turn.”

“Sorry,” Zack laughed with a playful wink at Kim.

Kim gave him her best ‘whatever’ expression and stared at her phone. Usually, she could brush off most of Zack’s teasing but this wandered too close to the truth. Still, the less distress she showed the more likely it was that he’d drop it before accidentally discovering her crush on Trini. That wasn’t something she wanted to team, or Trini, to know. That was for her to cope with and get over without the added embarrassment that would come from being discovered. Not to mention the possibility of it ruining the entire team chemistry.

_ Come on, Kim. Get a grip _ , she told herself.  _ No one knows anything. It doesn’t matter. Just hush and stop panicking. It’s ok to have a crush, it’s what you do about it that matters. And I plan on doing nothing about it. Ok, good. That’s good because nothing can come from it. For Trini’s own good.  _

Unfortunately, the fear of her building feelings being discovered latched onto the unease she was feeling from her quiet phone. The only time her phone was this quiet for so long was when she was sleeping and during Diwali when Amanda was a human being and left her alone for the week. There was no reason for the silence now, especially from Harper. It gave Kim a terrible foreboding feeling of doom.    


Together, her fears started to grow into something bigger, twisting into something dark and ugly in Kim’s mind. Both her breathing and her heart rate picked up.

Beside her, Trini was dozing and watching bright splashes of pink pop in and out of her vision. Every time she reached out for one, the color bled between her fingers and disappeared. She didn’t like that and reached with both hands to catch the neon bubble-gum bubbles without any luck. A thin thread of panic worked its way in. 

Kim didn’t want anyone to know how close she was to absolute panic as she sat on the couch. She slammed down on the link for a bit to hide it before it could infect and overcome the remaining happy emotions flowing around the link. 

In her lap, Trini shifted in response to the change in the link, disturbed. Kim started to pet her hair again to stop her from coming out of her doze to ask about it. Trini relaxed at the touch and her toes started to rub together under the blanket like they sometimes did when she was falling asleep.

In her dream, the pink splashes stayed longer but Trini still couldn’t hold on to them.

As good as it felt to have Trini cuddled up against her in the open where others could see it (a true show of comfort and trust, in Kim’s opinion), she knew it was dangerous to get used to it. If she let herself, if even for a moment enjoy the warm weight of Trini’s cheek against her thigh then she’d be spoiled for it and would only want more- something she couldn’t afford to ask for. Already she was too used to having the younger teen sharing her bed most nights of the week and loathed thinking of when that was inevitably going to end. The nights Trini wasn’t there were hard enough, thinking about the future without her at all at night was hope crushing.

_ This… is too intimate _ , Kim realized. Suddenly, it felt as though her hand had tainted Trini’s hair when she touched it, and like Trini’s cheek was burning her through her jeans. Somehow, despite the sometimes intimate positions they awoke to find themselves arranged in some mornings, this open display of trust felt like so much more.

So much more than she deserved or was worthy of.

A cold sweat broke out on Kim’s neck. She felt like she was going to get ‘caught’, finally seen as the fraud she was. That was the other shoe she was waiting to fall. 

She glanced at her unnaturally quiet phone. Amanda and Harper still hadn’t texted her with any more abuse. It wasn’t that she wanted it, although it was well deserved in Kim’s opinion it was just that the sudden stop to it was unnerving. And now, without the cyberbullying, as Trini insisted it was- instead of just punishment as Kim felt it was- to make her seem like a victim instead of the perpetrator of all of this, everyone was going to see what a horrible person she really was. The last curtain was going to fall away, exposing the real Kim. When that happened, she’d lose all of this that she could see in front of her, this little family. 

Trini.

_ You don’t deserve it anyway, _ her inner voice reminded her.  _ Especially her.  _

“Ha! That’s what you get! Round one goes to me!” Jason announced, snapping Kim out of her inner spiral.

Needing to get away but denying the deep urge to escape the house entirely, Kim stood up. She scooped a nearly fully asleep Trini into her arms as she did so. “Come on, let’s go upstairs.” Thankfully, her voice was a lot more steady than she felt.

“What? NO! Put me down!” Trini squeaked, startled awake. Despite herself, her arms automatically wrapped around Kim’s shoulders. Somehow the blanket had wrapped around her like a little cocoon and she was actually reluctant to leave the warm comfy perch. But, appearances. “Now!”

“Talk to you later!” Billy waved absently. Zack was laughing while Jason wasn’t paying attention. None of them were aware of Kim’s increasing panic.

Holding Trini tightly in a bridal carry, Kim was already at the bottom of the stairs. “These jokers are gonna be too loud for you to nap. We’re better off upstairs. Plus, we’ll have our own TV,” she babbled.

“Kimberly Ann Hart put me down this instant! I swear to God!”

By the time she finished speaking, Kim had dropped her on the bed. She bounced lightly and blinked in surprise. 

_ Fricking Ranger speed _ , she cursed.

“Ok,” Kim shrugged. With nothing to occupy her hands now, they opened and closed on nothing.

“What the hell?”

“It was this or throw the Waterford crystal lamp at Zack’s head.”

Falling back on the bed, Trini sighed. “What’d he do? I closed my eyes.”

“He existed,” she grumbled. Trini blinked up at her. “Just being loud and you know, Zack.”

“Hmm,” Trini groaned in understanding. “Come on,” she said as she crawled under the covers, “get in here.”

Kim quietly obeyed and laid on her back. It was tough; she wanted the comfort she always got from being with Trini but asking for it would open herself up even more to the feelings she couldn’t afford to have. Wouldn’t let herself have. 

_ No, can’t let myself have. It’s not right. I take so much from her already and anything else is taking advantage of her friendship. But, if Zack’s starting to see how I feel, I’ve GOT to get a hold on it and squash it before she does and resents me or something.  _

Her head was starting to ache. 

Trini cuddled into her side, still feeling snuggly but it wasn’t long before she could feel the tenseness in Kim’s body and the fine tremors that started shortly after.

“What’s wrong?” she asked softly. Reaching down, she laced the fingers of one hand with Kim’s and gave a squeeze. An answering squeeze made her feel better. 

“Nothing…” Another squeeze on her hand told Kim not to lie. “Nothing but my own mind.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, and a headache.”

“Need anything?”

_ Of course, she’d be concerned. I don’t deserve it. _ “No.”

Trini thought for a moment. “What’s going on in Kim’s head?” she asked softly. 

“Not a lot,” Kim scoffed. She rubbed at her face with her free hand. 

“Or too much?” Trini countered. Kim briefly met her eyes. “Ah. Not a bad day but a bad moment?” she offered in understanding. “Or bad hour maybe?”

Some of the tension in Kim’s body eased. “You remember.”

“Of course.” Trini watched as her thumb traced over Kim’s pulse point, the light too dim for her to see the scar she could just barely feel beneath the pad of her finger. 

Kim let out a heavy, annoyed breath. “I know it doesn’t like, make sense. We’ve had this great, super day and Zack’s really happy. You’re really happy. Everyone is. I should be too but instead, I’m having these crappy little mini panic attacks or something and waiting for something to go wrong.” Despite wanting to keep it to herself, Kim found herself blurting it out.

“You’ve been like that somewhat all day,” Trini pointed out without judgment. “I think now that everything’s all over the adrenaline is wearing off and we’re both coming down.”

“You think it’s just in my head?” Kim felt oddly dismissed. “I’m just tired?”

“Absolutely not!” Trini said, suddenly wide awake. She pushed herself up on her elbow to look Kim in the eyes. “I’d never say that or think it, Kim. I swear. That’s bullshit and I’ll knock out the teeth of anyone who says it.”

Kim nodded in relief. The logical part of her mind had told her the same thing, it was her insecurities that made her temporarily doubt Trini. No matter how hard she tried not to, it still happened.

“I meant I think it’s why I’m so tired and why your defenses are down, why I was cuddly in front of the guys too. We were both wound pretty tight today, you know?” Trini explained. “Wanting everything to go right and for my brothers to behave. I’m not dismissing how you feel at all. I’d never. That’s all my Mom does to me so I’d never do it to someone else.” Her expression softened. “Especially you.”

Appeased, Kim smiled softly back at her. They stared at one another for a few moments, both feeling the draw, the magnetic pull together. They were close, warm, and safe with many of their usual defenses down.

Close enough now as she leaned up and over to see the sparks of cinnamon red in Kim’s eyes, Trini’s breath caught. The moment was heavy. Her heart raced so loudly in her ears she wondered if Kim could hear it. She caught her eyes trying to flicker to Kim’s lips but stopped herself. It would only take a little bit of a lean forward for their lips to meet. 

Trini could feel the small puffs of air against her face as Kim exhaled.

But, the same instinct that drew her to the older teen, the same thing that made it so hard not to constantly think about Kim and made the desire to be close to her unbearable sometimes was telling her ‘no’. The timing was somehow off, like someone clapping just a moment behind the beat. Almost there, close, but still not right and just off rhythm enough to be jarring. It felt like if they did meet right now, here in the middle on Kim’s bed, they’d pass through each other in the end instead of having something lasting. As sweet as a kiss right now would be, it would turn sour too quickly.

_ No, no, no! That’s not what I want! Not right now, we’re not ready. Fuck, shit, stop, help, backtrack, apologize, disappear into the floor never to be seen again, oh God please just strike me down with lightning or something. Please?  _

Trini pulled her head back a bit and paused anxiously. In return, Kim cleared her throat as she turned her head, looking away from Trini to gaze blankly towards the wall. Her body had gone stiff and still.

The incredible sadness and disappointment that filled Trini only grew as Kim shifted her body, removing her hand from Trini’s grasp. A gut-wrenching feeling of guilt swirled over the link before it trailed off in Kim’s usual manner. 

_ No! No now she thinks she’s done something wrong. I’m gonna fuck this whole day up if I don’t fix this but I don’t know what’s happened. _ She was confused about what to do but tried to send something calming over the Ranger link so Kim would know that she wasn’t upset or anything.

“Hey, don’t pull away. I…” 

Running her now free hand through her hair, Kim took a deep breath. “I’m sorry if I’m ruining what was a good day,” she apologized, ignoring Trini. Her voice was a bit thick as she broke the tense silence. She could feel Trini’s minor panic and the calming waves the Latina was sending her but her own mind was too much of a mess to appreciate it much. “Like everything else.”

_You flew too close to the sun, idiot. Trying to kiss her? Trini? How dare you?_ Kim was absolutely incensed with herself. _What the fuck are you thinking? At this rate,_ _you’ll be lucky if she doesn’t decide to go home and never come back, never speak to you again. FUCK! Stay away from her! You know this, Kim! Stop being greedy! You ruin everything!_

Whatever moment they’d been in had popped like a soap bubble on a hot summer sidewalk. Even the sprinkle of wet soap leftovers had already evaporated into nothingness. Like it was never there. 

“You’re not!” Trini said quickly, too quickly, and winced. That sounded desperate to her own ears. Kim’s eyebrow twitched. “You’re not ruining anything. You haven’t. You couldn’t.”

“Ok.” There was nothing in Kim’s tone to indicate she believed her friend and it broke Trini’s heart. 

For the first time in a long time, a feeling of awkwardness settled between the two. It was uncomfortable and made the hair on the back of Trini’s neck stand up. 

“So…” she breathed out slowly.

Kim took a few moments before answering. “Mmm?” she hummed. 

It took a minute for Trini to respond since the hummed answer turned into Kim very softly humming a tune. It happened so often that it was simply background noise to Trini most of the time but she’d learned to read into the melodies she heard. This one was similar to the few that meant Kim was sad/upset and trying to distract herself to make herself feel better. It began almost happily but it was hollow happiness that tried too hard until the tune became lower and sadder. 

Trini’s mind scrambled for something, anything to talk about that wasn’t about what almost just happened. Anything to stop the sadness she could almost physically see creeping into her friend around the edges. She didn’t want it to get its teeth sunk in too deeply although it was making a good attempt.

Kimberly Hart had a presence; whether she liked it or not when she entered a room, people turned to look. She wasn’t the biggest or loudest but there was something about her that drew attention. The half-Indian carried herself with a certain confidence that couldn’t be ignored. It wasn’t until her fall from grace at school that anyone learned how to ignore her and ostracized her. But even that was starting to fall away as people she’d never interacted with before, like Zack’s friends were reaching out to her. Granted that had been about the party but they likely found Kim more approachable than Trini.

None of that essence was present now as the older teen folded inward; already she gave off an aura of fragility that Trini didn’t like. It left a rancid taste at the roof of her mouth. Kim’s body language was closing in too. Whether it was the stress of the party, the near kiss, or something else Trini was watching the cloud come over Kim’s eyes and mind in real-time for the first time. 

“So, uhm, have you heard from the uh cheerbitches again?” she tried. It wasn’t the best choice but it was something.  _ You just asked her that, you idiot! For Fuck’s sake... _

Kim shook her head. “No.” 

“That’s good.”

“Mmmm.” The pattern continued. 

Since Kim hadn’t actually moved off of the bed and seemed more frozen in place than anything else, Trini took a chance and laid back down beside her making sure to remain curled in close. Her heart skipped a beat with relief when Kim didn’t recoil or push her away. She seemed to be waiting to see what Trini did. 

_ Aw, fuck this! I’m not gonna make it awkward. Whatever it almost happened but didn’t and that’s for the better,  _ Trini told herself. She mostly believed it too. 

“Sweet. The longer you go not hearing from them the better. Bonus, lower cell phone bill,” she said a bit lamely but soldiered on. “At least it’s something.” She let out a long but relatively happy sigh. “I think today’s been a good one.”  _ And if I have to repeat that until you fall asleep, then that’s where we’ll start, Princess.  _

Kim shifted beside her. “Yeah?”

“Hell yeah,” Trini insisted although she didn’t raise her voice. “Mark it in your calendar; you had a good day. I know I did. We all did. Zack had an awesome party and got together with his old friends again, neither of my brothers threw up, my mother isn’t mad at me, those bitches aren’t texting you, and we’re here all warm and cozy to take a nap.”

“It’s…” Kim turned to look at the clock. She had no idea why she was arguing about taking a nap.

“Hart, you never care what time it is when it comes to naps,” Trini chided. “So don’t try it. Now, you carried me up here with the promise of a nap.” She pulled the covers around them and tucked her head against Kim’s shoulder. Her heart rate picked up again when the fingers of Kim’s hand lightly played with hers. Kim made no move to retake Trini’s hand and Trini wasn’t going to force it. The fact that Kim hadn’t pulled away totally was good enough.

“Promise is a strong way to put it,” Kim pointed out, relaxing enough to joke weakly back. 

“Yeah, well, we’re gonna do it anyway.” 

After a few minutes of quiet, Trini took a deep breath. “It was a great day all around.”

“Yeah,” Kim conceded with a bit of relief as if she was finally letting herself believe it. “I think it was.” She smiled. “Zack and his Mom looked so happy. I took a lot of pictures with my phone.”

“You should really get a new camera,” Trini suggested, bringing up Kim’s lost hobby. 

The broken camera no longer sat on the table in Kim’s room; all her old supplies had been boxed up and put away when Trini started spending more time over. The younger teen had arrived one evening after dinner to find Kim packing everything up to put into a storage closet explaining that Trini needed the room for her stuff and that the photography supplies were just wasting the space.

Trini had objected to the whole thing; the last thing she wanted was for Kim to put away a part of herself to make room for her of all people. She tried to explain that there was plenty of room plus the bedroom beside Kim’s she could use but to no avail. By the time Kim was done, the only things that remained of the hobby she once loved were the few photos on the wall of her Ranger friends that she’d taken with her phone. 

“Maybe eventually,” Kim said absently before a yawn. 

“It’d be easier than a phone, is all.”

“Mmmm.” This time it sounded like Kim was agreeing with her, albeit absently.

Biting her lip, Trini went on. “And I think you’d enjoy taking photos again. It’s something to do when you can’t nap, eat donuts, or my Mom’s keeping me hostage.”

“Like I said, maybe eventually. No rush, it’s not like anyone’s going anywhere or they’re gonna suddenly stop selling cameras,” Kim responded flatly. “Today, tomorrow, whenever.”

_ Ok, Kim, I can understand a stop sign when you hit me over the head with it _ , Trini thought dryly.  _ You don’t want to talk about your favorite hobby. Got it. _ Although she decided that she was going to find out why at a later date.

Trini was at a loss again about what to say. Kim was quiet as well and for a while, they lay still in the dark. Kim’s voice eventually woke Trini out of a doze.

“Are you mad at me for being sad? I mean after we had such a good day?” Kim’s voice was so fragile that it made Trini’s eyes burn.

“No, not at all. Kim, I… I don’t know much about your sad days, or depression. Not yet at least but I hope to eventually,” Trini began carefully. “So I can’t say that I get it. I mean, I have my own issues with getting depressed and angry about stuff and sometimes I don’t even know where that shit’s coming from for me.” She tilted her head upwards in case Kim was looking at her. “I’m not gonna judge you when these moments happen. I’m not like that.”

“It was such a good day,” Kim insisted, her throat tight. 

“You can still be sad though. This kinda… shit don’t care what kinda day you have. Good, bad, great, super- it doesn’t care. I don’t know much but I know that.”

“You know a lot,” Kim breathed softly. 

“Oh yeah?” Trini challenged. Kim chuckled. “Sweet. I’ll remind you you said that.”

“I’m sure.”

“But… the thing is, you don’t get to like, pick and choose when you’ll feel good or bad, right? But you got through the party without any problems, everyone including you had a good time so if you want or need to feel sad or angry or whatever right now? Go ahead, feel it. You’re with me and you’re not hurting anything.” Letting her words settle for a moment, Trini finished with, “You’re safe.”

Kim didn’t say anything but shortly afterward, Trini heard her sniffle. Silently, she reached up and wiped a stray tear away from Kim’s cheek as it dripped down and to the side. It hurt that Kim was weeping and that she couldn’t help her but she was relieved to see Kim was letting herself feel her emotions and not shutting down. Trini didn’t need the Ranger link to know how Kim felt at this moment. 

“I’m tired,” Kim croaked a short time later. Trini sat up slightly and gently cleaned the streaks left by tears from Kim’s face with the sleeve of her flannel. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Naptime?”

“I did promise,” Kim responded.

“You did,” Trini agreed and snuggled down to sleep. “Thanks for helping me with the whole party, babysitting my brothers, and everything. You’re a real life-saver sometimes.”

“Yeah,” Kim breathed, “so are you.”


	7. Shit, Meet Fan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags: Language, mentions of bullying, bad coping skills
> 
> Trini has an anxious Sunday as she waits to hear from Kim. An email and a scandal look to disrupt life at Angel Grove High School.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Diwali!
> 
> I hope everyone is doing all right or as well as can be. I'm hanging in there. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Sunday morning Trini returned home to attend church with her family and spent the rest of the day at various Thanksgiving-themed church functions. Since she was one of the older kids she was forced into being a supervisor for her brother's age-group, also thanks to her mother volunteering her for the job. That had almost evolved into an epic fight in the parking lot of the church since June waited until the last moment to tell her. Her father had managed to mediate the moment so that they didn’t create a scene but Trini didn’t want to be anywhere near her mother while June didn’t see what the fuss was about.

Adding to Trini’s irritation, her one avenue of escape wasn’t available. Kim had gotten a message from her mother around 4 AM saying she and her father wanted to talk to her later in the day. Maddy didn’t give any sort of indication of what they wanted to discuss or what time they’d call in the vague messages but Kim’s earlier sense of foreboding only grew worse from then and they’d both found it hard to get any more sleep. 

Trini was worried but the few messages she’d sent as feelers to see how Kim was doing had gone unanswered. The subtle but noticeable anxiety that was coming from the older teen’s side of the Ranger link didn’t help Trini’s mood, either. It made her feel like she was in the middle of a violent thunderstorm, hanging at the moment between the flash of lightning and the ear-splitting crack of thunder. She hated the feeling of doomed anticipation.

She was in the middle of helping a little girl color in her hand-print turkey when a bolt of shock and panic brought her up short. A whole host of emotions rolled over the link in quick succession and Trini had no doubt about their source.

_Kim!_

For all her talent at blocking her end of the empathic link, the one thing Kim couldn’t do was hide sudden bursts of emotion such as when she was caught by surprise. It was something Trini had picked up on but had chosen not to mention since it was one of the only times she got an unfiltered look into Kim’s emotional state through their connection.

The barrage of emotions came in so quickly that Trini had to excuse herself to the ladies' room to sort them out.

 _Wait, ok… Surprise, shock, then panic,_ she reviewed as she leaned on the sink. _Followed by a hint of dry humor, a feeling of revenge, relief, and a smidge of happiness._ Trini followed the threads of emotion as they spread out inside of her mind like delicate spiderwebs. She could see each one she identified light up and link to the next one. _Happiness and then we come back to worry, panic, oh no, anger…_

An image of herself flickered behind her eyes, illuminated in the web in bright yellow. The image glitched and flashed in and out in reaction to the negative emotion.

 _Anger at me!_ She realized. To her relief, that feeling faded almost as quickly as it arose, and her image-stabilized before it disappeared. _She’s mad at me. What did I do? Or what do I have to do with what’s going on?_

Most of the emotions that she could identify began to fade as Kim started to shut down her end of the link, likely noticing for the first time that she was broadcasting openly. But as hard as she tried, Kim couldn’t fully suppress everything, and the sense of panic that she was experiencing continued to reach through to Trini. Whatever was going on with her parents, Kim was scared and worried.

Now, Trini was too.

Running some water, Trini washed her face. 

“You don’t have to be right all the time,” she sighed in regards to Kim’s feeling of impending doom. Drying off the excess water with paper towels, she looked at herself in the mirror and rolled her eyes at the tired look. “Talking to yourself? Great. One morning without texting her and you’re losing it.” _You’re a walking lesbian stereotype, falling for your best friend._

_Now I’m talking to myself in the third person; it’s worse than I thought._

The door to the bathroom swung open, making her jump.

 _Some superhero you are,_ she scoffed. _Great situational awareness you’ve got._ Doubly irritated, she headed back to her brother’s art group to check on them. 

“Trini!” Diego called out in greeting. He and Matty grinned at her so brightly that it made her nervous. Diego had his hands behind his back which didn’t help.

“Ok, what did you do?” she asked suspiciously.

The twins looked confused for a minute. 

“Nothin’?” Matty answered, baffled. “Why?”

The smiles had disappeared which Trini disliked so she switched tactics.

“Nevermind. Why are you two so happy to see me?” 

Immediately, the smiles reappeared.

“Tell her,” Matty insisted, shoving Diego slightly.

“Stoooop, I will!”

“Don’t shove, Matty,” Trini reminded gently. 

Matty ducked his head. “Sorry.”

“It’s ok. So what’s up?”

“Ok, so, ok you know how when we do and make things we always get two cuz there’s two of us? Me and Matty?” Diego started. Trini nodded. “Ok, so we thought since we were making two of the same thing again…”

“That you could have one as a thank you for taking us to Zack’s party!” Matty finished, excited. 

Diego pulled a hand-print turkey out from behind his back and proudly held it up for her. “We colored it like the Power Rangers so it can go on the wall with the mural,” he told her. Sure enough, the feathers of the turkey were red, blue, pink, and black while the body of the bird was brown with bright yellow feet. 

“I wrote the message cuz my printing is neater,” Matty explained solemnly. 

Instead of _Happy Thanksgiving,_ across the paper, the message read _Thank you, Trini. Love Matty & Diego. _They’d each written their own name.

“Mrs. Cortez said since it was still saying ‘thank you’ it was ok,” Diego told her proudly.

A sharp stinging sensation in her eyes made Trini blink rapidly. _I will not cry over a hand-traced, crayon-colored turkey_ , she mentally berated herself.

“Thank you guys so much. I love it,” she said honestly, taking the paper from Diego’s hands.

“We took turns coloring it!”

“And stayed in the lines. We’re good at that now cuz we’re bigger!”

“It’s perfect,” Trini reassured them. “I can’t wait to put it on the wall. Hey! Wanna put it in a frame too?”

The boys cheered and jumped up and down with excitement. A framed picture on Trini’s wall? That was unbelievable to them.

“Yes! That’s awesome!”

“Please? Can we?”

“Yeah,” Trini grinned, “we definitely will.” Touched beyond words, she knelt down and opened her arms for a hug which the twins eagerly ran to give her. 

“Love you!” Matty told her.

“Yeah, me too,” Diego echoed.

Trini didn’t know how the little monsters knew she needed the pick-me-up but she was eternally grateful for the brats. Even in the moments that she ‘hated’ them. “I love you, too.”

By evening, Trini’s anxiety was making her chew on her fingernails, a habit she’d beaten in 7th grade with some help from bite-deterrent nail polish. Her mother’s idea, of course, but probably the better one in the long run. To this day, however, anything with the same sort of bitter taste made Trini gag.

Throughout the afternoon, Kim had been sending out pulses of fear, panic, anger, defeat, and a worrying urge to disappear. The second-hand impulse was strong enough that it made Trini’s skin itch. It was uncomfortable but if it was that bad for her she didn’t want to think about how bad it was for Kim.

The few texts she sent out to check on her friend had thus far gone unanswered which was doing nothing to help with her anxiety. Kim never went this long between answering texts unless something was wrong or she was avoiding Trini, like the incidents that the Latina now knew were Kim’s sad days/moments. The former gymnast had a habit of ignoring her messages then too. But the emotions skittering over the Ranger link didn’t feel quite the same as those times.

The fact that she could feel as much as she could concerned Trini as well. Kim was usually a lot more meticulous in maintaining her end of the link; this much bleed over was unusual. To be truthful, Trini preferred it this way even if she didn’t know the context. She hated the strange static she sometimes sensed when she reached out to Kim. The older teen’s ability to blank out her emotions or worse, numb herself was something Trini wanted Kim to eventually not feel the need to do. At least with Trini herself.

That level of trust was a ‘goal’, so to speak. Really, Trini wanted to be there for Kim, to be someone she could trust. Being able to sense Kim’s emotions over the Ranger link would be a huge indication that they’d reached that point. 

But that wasn’t happening yet and by 9:30, Trini had chewed her thumbnail down far enough for it to be painful. Unable to wait any longer, she sent out another text.

**POKEMON SUN**

Hey, everything ok?

Haven’t heard from u all-day

Getting kinda worried

Half an hour passed without a word. She tried again.

**POKEMON SUN**

Look, I don’t mean to pry 

But I can tell something’s wrong

Please talk to me?

Princesa?

At 10:09, her phone chimed. Trini nearly jumped out of her skin and then almost dropped her phone in her rush to check it. Her face fell and she frowned in confusion.

**POKEMON MOON**

CHECK YOUR EMAIL

The terseness of the message sent all in caps and the way it wasn’t followed up by any of Kim’s usual banter or emojis was worrying. 

Rolling over onto her stomach, she leaned over her bed and pulled her laptop from her backpack onto the bed. Opening it up and signing on, she went to her personal email and not the school server. Kim wouldn’t send her anything important there; it was the last place Trini would look for anything and the brunette knew it. That was for school assignments and messages only. 

It was easy to find Kim’s email among the various junk mail and an email from her tia about Thanksgiving. The email was all in caps and read: 

**_I WARNED YOU! I FUCKING WARNED YOU!_ **

Scrambling up to sit at the head of the bed, Trini’s stomach dropped out as she opened what was a forwarded email chain sent from Kim. Kim’s email to her was actually the last of several in the chain. The first had a note from Kim that said: START HERE. 

It was a vague press release statement that came from the head of the athletics department for Angel Grove High School and co-signed by the principal, the coach of the cheerleading squad, their advisors, and the school superintendent. It mentioned nothing specific except that the school would be cracking down on bullying and bringing in an outside contractor to audit the school’s reaction to the issue and as well as a few others during the next term. 

“Ohhh, fuck…” Trini breathed, feeling herself go cold. A hint of what this was about formed in her mind. _Oh crap, did I start this?_

The next was an email containing the formal explanation of the press release that was going out to the parents of the entire high school within the next few days pending any revisions. It explained the discovery of a weeks-long campaign of cruel and vicious cyberbullying using the school’s server. 

“Months long,” Trini grumbled unhappily, quickly catching on.

The email reassured parents that while the perpetrators only targeted one victim, this behavior was unacceptable thus restructuring with more monitoring would be added to the school’s servers. Also, as a result, the entire cheerleading team was looking at a month suspension from cheering at any games and had been suspended from any local or regional competitions for the rest of the school year. The competition cycle for “The Soaring Angels”, as the Angel Grove cheerleading team was known and who had placed a close second in their division last year, was dead. 

" _While the entire squad is not responsible for the actions of a small few, their inability or unwillingness to speak up or speak out against the mistreatment of a fellow student and former squadmate shows a deep lack of compassion, strength, and true fault within each of their characters that needs to be addressed,_ ” Trini read out loud to herself. 

She paused. “Ouch. That’s gonna sting.” A small satisfied giggle escaped her.

“ _Those directly responsible will face individual punishment while the affected student will be receiving any and all the support that they will need for the foreseeable future._ ” It ended with the typical statement of where to email for more information.

“Holy shit,” Trini whistled. She wasn’t sure what she felt; excited, scared, or thrilled. 

She decided she was confused. The all caps subject line had made it seem like someone was coming for her directly. So far, this seemed like good news.

Moving onto the next message, Trini rolled her neck to crack it. It didn’t help relieve any of the tension holding her body stiff and tight. 

It was a private message from the principal to Ted and Maddy Hart.

“Oh no.” _This might be why Kim’s so upset. She didn’t want them to know what was going on, for whatever reason. I mean, it’s not like they’re going to suddenly start fussing over her. It’s kind of late for that shit._

The principal explained that it was Kim who was being cyberbullied and he had included a few pages of the messages Kim had been getting on the school’s servers. Kim included them in the chain for Trini to see which was surprising. She went to so much trouble to hide things from Trini on a regular basis that she must have been trying to make a point with it.

The principal had cherry-picked some of the worst of the abuse. What she’d seen and read the afternoon Amanda and Harper blew up Kim’s phone with texts hadn’t touched the surface of it. If anything, Trini could see why Kim didn’t bother getting angry anymore; the messages now weren’t wasn’t half as bad or as graphic as they were a month or two months earlier. They were calmer and came in much slower now in comparison. Not that it was that much better or that that said much about the girls sending the hatred to Kim regularly.

Trini read through each of them, feeling she had to, that she owned at least that much to Kim. It was the bare minimum really. The smallest Ranger’s eyes burned with unshed tears while her gut boiled with rage. The twisted words left her alternating between the need to punch someone and the instinct to curl up and hide.

Probably the most accurate she’s come to describing the way Kim’s end of the link felt at times. Now Trini sort of knew why. She wasn’t naive, Trini knew there was a lot more to what was going on with Kim than the bullying from her former friends. But those other problems looked bigger than what Trini could take on right now, Amanda and Harper were not.

 _One thing at a time_ , Trini had told herself. Now she wondered if she chose the right thing to try and get off of Kim’s back. Or if she chose the right way to do it.

Amanda and Harper’s vile messages stared back up at her from the laptop screen, mocking her even though they weren’t meant for her. After the first few weeks though, her name - or rather the slur they used to represent Trini- began to appear in their attacks on Kim. Kim’s responses were there too and despite the situation, the older teen’s ferocious defense of her made Trini’s insides warm. Kim was willing to take whatever abuse the other two girls could come up with to throw at her, whatever names they created she rarely answered them. But when they started dragging Trini into it, Kim got mad and responded.

_“Leave her out of this, bitch! She’s innocent so fuck off!”_

_“Take her name out of your mouth or I’ll knock your teeth out!”_

_“Stop using that slur or I’ll do to you what I did to Ty.”_

“She likes knocking teeth out,” Trini remarked dryly.

 _“I don’t care if she_ **_is_ ** _gay, it’s none of our business. Spread a rumor about her again and I’ll end you, Harper. Starting with your fake nose.”_

_“You don’t scare me, Mandy. Do your worst to me but leave Trini out of it. Last warning.”_

Some of Kim’s threats apparently worked because for all the trouble Trini did have with the cheerleaders, it had tapered off somewhat by mid-October. Now she knew it was because Kim threatened them with something, likely dental trauma. They focused mostly on Kim unless they were together. Trini still faced her share of bullying but there were a lot more people in high school than just the cheerleaders.

It was amazing to Trini that Kim was going through what she was and yet had her back without her even being aware. She wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her flannel, touched by the depth of Kim’s caring but hurt to know that some of the times when she saw Kim checking her phone that this was what her friend was reading. Yet, when Kim put her phone away, nothing on her face would give away the fact that her former friends were screaming obscenities at her, encouraging her to hurt herself, and threatening outright murder. Creative if impossible means of murder but murder nonetheless.

“Fuuck,” Trini sighed, thinking of how much it would hurt and how demoralizing it would be to face abuse like that every time she opened her phone. “God damn it, Kim, why didn’t you say something? Something more, at least to me?” 

_Sweet, stoic, stupid Kim,_ Trini sighed to herself. 

“OK, press release, parent email, principal email to the Harts,” Trini read out loud as she scrolled. “Pages and pages showing why Kim should be given a few free shots at Amanda and Harper’s faces… without Ranger powers, obviously. Let’s not get carried away.”

Aware that she was muttering under her breath as a way to soothe her anxiety as she approached Kim’s letter to her, Trini shook her head.

“Stop talking to yourself!” 

The next was an email from Ted to Kim explaining how he was the one chosen to discuss this with her since her mother was too upset. 

Trini snorted and rolled her eyes at that. “Oh really? Oh nooooo…” she mocked sarcastically. “How will she cope?” 

He set up a time to call, which had already passed and was likely the cause of some of Kim’s earlier emotional turmoil over the link. He also wrote a long message that Trini shortened to the TL;DR of _WTF is this and why haven’t you mentioned it before now? We need to have a long talk. In-person._

The Yellow Ranger winced. “Oh, that probably didn’t go over well. Fuck.” Anger washed over her. “Why are you mad at her? You get to skip the holidays that are important to her and expect her to just accept it but then you’re mad when she doesn’t share what’s going on in her life with you? Pick a fucking lane, asshole. Either you care or you don’t; this fucking limbo state you leave her in is disgusting.”

Finally, she got to Kim’s email. It was written as a stream of consciousness with a half-hearted attempt at holding onto proper sentence and letter structure. To Trini, Kim’s attempt at holding onto letter writing etiquette while writing an angry email was adorable. It reminded her of how the older girl’s British accent thickened when she was upset and she read it in Kim’s accent. It gave her a small sense of something positive to hold on to as the letter progressed and grew worse.

_“What the actual fuck, Trini? Did you send in a real complaint? Did you actually write to the school board?”_

Eyes narrowing, Trini answered as if Kim was speaking to her. “No, you know I wouldn’t do that.”

“ _No, I’m going to give you the benefit of a doubt and say no you didn’t and it was Ms. M who reported it but it doesn’t really matter. Do you see this? Do you see this mess? Now everyone knows. Everyone is going to know that it’s me being bullied. That it’s me who had Amanda and Harper suspended from cheerleading and from school.”_

“Holy shit!” Trini repeated. “They got suspended from school too! Sweet!” She laughed.

 _“Yes, as funny as that is,”_ the email went on like Kim knew how Trini would react, _“it sucks for me because everyone will know it’s my fault, not just the cheer squad, everyone. Because of me, the team’s been sidelined and was thrown out of regionals. That’s huge. We came in second last year and until I crashed out, we were assumed to win this year.”_

“Ok that sucks for them but it’s not world-ending. They’ll live.”

_“That might not seem like a big deal to you but it is to them and it looks good on a college transcript. For a few of those girls, it’s the only thing they’ve got going for them.”_

The thinly veiled shot at Harper made Trini smile.

_“What’s worse is that I’m the reason that there’s going to be no cheerleaders at the football game this Thanksgiving. The biggest game of the year with the cross-town rivals where alumni come out and there’s the whole big to-do and there won’t be any cheerleaders. No tailgating event in the parking lot this year either; the school board came down hard across on the staff too for not seeing anything… although we both know they saw plenty. They took away all the overtime pay they’d get for setting up and working all that so they canceled it.”_

Trini growled lowly. Too many teachers had turned a blind eye to the bullying that went on at Angel Grove High School. Many more of her teachers had reached out and tried to help but those weren’t usually the ones in charge of extracurricular activities, the ones involved in the politics and money end of the education system. Those in charge of that didn’t like to rock the boat and get involved in bullying situations where the bully’s parents were heavy donors to the school.

Their reaction to being denied their overtime money was as typical and petty as Trini would have expected.

_“Or at least that’s the story that’s going around. The real story is that the messages to me came from some members of the football team too (not just Ty) but no one wants to forfeit the rest of the season or the Thanksgiving Day game over this. I’d be so dead if they did.”_

Shifting in place, Trini’s eyebrows twitched as she read those words. It always made her unnaturally uncomfortable when Kim mentioned death, or being dead, in some way. She wasn’t superstitious by nature but they’d both survived multiple incidents that they shouldn’t have and it was only through the flukish miracle of their Power Coins that they were still alive. 

When she stopped to acknowledge that, it triggered a minor burst of panic in Trini every time. The sadistic part of her wondered if when she gave up her powers or if they were taken from her, would all those injuries suddenly reappear? 

She shivered at the thought of all that pain. Each time Kim nonchalantly made a side comment about death it reminded Trini how close they’d come and made her feel like Kim was tempting it, inviting it back in, like a vampire just outside the threshold. 

_“So no Soaring Angels cocoa stand to raise money for charity, no bonfire (ok, that’s fine), no pre-game parade, no aftergame party for the Seniors- most of whom didn’t bother me! Now no one gets to have any of the fun the school always throws for this special game. None of it all because of this stupid, silly mess of mine. Everyone’s going to be livid._

_It’s all my fault. You know the worst part is that the other team is going to eat that up and tease and taunt the team, right? Riverside will make those blockheads so angry they won’t be able to play. It’s an important game we can’t afford to lose! The whole town is going to be pissed off, all because I couldn’t take a little high school name-calling! Because I’m weak and couldn’t take my punishment!”_

“No, that’s not how this works,” Trini shook her head. “That’s not…” she trailed off with a heavy sigh. “This is part of the problem. Every problem on Earth is not your fault, Princesa. These bitches chose to bully you and brought this on themselves. It’s not your fault they made a bad situation worse or that the administration went nuclear on everyone’s asses. And if I have to repeat myself until the end of time, I will.”

The email continued. _“This isn’t going to make things any better; they just got worse. So much worse._

 _And to top it all off, you’ve now seen Dad’s letter and how much fun that was but we talked on the phone as well. He and Mom are thinking of coming home… not for anything important like Christmas or New Year. No, they’re considering calling my therapist who I stopped seeing, and not only sending me back, which I REFUSE, but also having some sort of intervention with some facilitators and mediators with Amanda, Harper, and THEIR PARENTS!_ ”

“Oh damn,” Trini flinched, “that’s not good. I’m shocked your parents think it’s bad enough to come home for, really, given that nothing else is.”

“ _Their parents! Can you imagine? I couldn’t care less about the Grants but I cannot face the Clark’s again, not after the last time and especially not as some sort of victim. Not after what I did to Amanda. I can’t go to them and ask them to discipline their daughter for responding to what I did to her. I humiliated her on a level I’m not sure you comprehend and she’s reacting to that; that’s all this is._

 _How? How do you not understand that by now? I’ve told you multiple times how I feel about all of this._ I _brought this on myself._ I _did this,_ I’m _responsible for everything that I’m getting. Do they go overboard sometimes? Yes, but come on, it’s well-deserved and I can deal with it. I_ am _dealing with it.”_

“That’s the thing; no, you’re not,” Trini argued to the empty room. Her chest hurt from finally knowing the weight of what Kim was carrying around and seeing how the older Ranger still felt she deserved it. “You ignore it and hope it goes away while it eats away at you. Stop pretending it doesn’t hurt.”

“ _You keep babying me and it’s driving me crazy. It’s suffocating. You aren’t giving me enough credit for being able to deal with things on my own_ ,” Kim told her in the email. 

Trini frowned, hurt. “No, I don’t,” she said softly. “I don’t baby you or suffocate you.”

“ _I’ve never needed someone else to fight my battles before and I don’t need you to do it now.”_

“I’m not trying to but you don’t fight, you’ve just rolled over,” Trini shrugged sadly. “Someone’s got to care before you’re run over completely.”

_“I’ve been on my own this long and gotten by just fine figuring things out myself. I was doing that here too and now it’s all screwed up. I had this under control and now it’s… it’s spilled ink and I can’t get it back in its jar. It’s stained and ruined everything.”_

Tilting her head, Trini bit her lip. “Interesting but melodramatic.”

_“Anyway, I had to write this out to you because I know if I try and say it to your face or over the phone I’m going to end up screaming and yelling at you. I don’t want to do that.”_

“I don’t either,” Trini let out a breath, “so thanks.” She’d been yelled at by Kim before but not at what she suspected this level would be like. She’d prefer to avoid ever encountering Kim in that angry of a state just because she was sure the taller teen’s words would be more dangerous than her impressive fighting skills.

_“I know in my mind and heart that you were only trying to do what you thought was right and what would help but it didn’t work out right and now it’s just a total, total mess. I don’t know how I’m going to clean it up or where to even start. How to show my face._

_To that end, the school notice is getting a few changes and goes out in a day, so Tuesday. Since school is going to be a shitshow after that and with Amanda and Harper out for the next two weeks..._ ”

“Two entire weeks?” Trini echoed. “They got two entire weeks? I mean, they deserve to be expelled but oh my God, the school board must have taken this seriously. Wow.”

“ _Since school is going to be a shitshow with Amanda and Harper out for the next two weeks, my parents are letting me have a few days off too. Thank God they understand that I’ll just get shit on by everyone if I bother to go in. It’ll just make things worse and they don’t want that. I might fly out to see my Dad; he’s pushing for it. I’m not sure because of the <pink gem emoji> stuff. _

_But whatever I decide to do for those days, I’d appreciate it if you could just leave me alone._ ”

The tears that had earlier threatened at Trini’s eyes spilled over and a small whimper escaped her. The last thing she wanted was to make Kim so upset with her that she couldn’t stand the sight of her. Or to talk to her at all. It felt like she’d been kicked in the chest by a Level 5 Putty.

“ _I_ _mean it, Trini. Leave me alone until I call you. I don’t need you white-knighting me all the time. Just cut it out. Don’t call, don’t text, don’t pop up on my balcony, and don’t let yourself in. Let me have a few days to calm down and process this. I mean it this time. If you push it, I’ll push away. It’s how I work. I don’t want to get super angry at you when I know that it’s not really your fault. Please, I don’t want that to happen. I’ll say something cruel that I don’t mean and end up doing everything I’ve told you I’d do to ruin our friendship. It’s what I do and I need you to help me avoid it by_ _staying away_ _._

_I’m not in any danger or anything either, I swear that to you. I’m upset and sad and panicked. I’m pretty sure I’m not hiding that all that well.”_

Pausing, Trini reached out and felt shadows of those emotions still wisping around the edges of the wall on Kim’s end of the Ranger empathic link at a pretty regular rate as it had been all day. At least now she had the context.

Unfortunately, she had to watch her own emotional overflow into the link now that Kim’s temporary ban of her had set in. The tears were falling faster than she could clear them and she felt shattered, heartbroken. Not even breaking up with Jessica two moves ago had hurt this much and she wasn’t dating Kim. 

Trini wiped at the tears angrily, upset that anyone- that any girl could make her react the way she was just by saying she didn’t want to talk. It was infuriating. What was even more infuriating was no matter how hard she tried, how fast she wiped, or how angry she was, Trini couldn’t stop crying.

_I pushed too hard and drove her away!_

Reluctantly, Trini turned to the last paragraph. 

_"Please respect my wishes and let me contact you first unless it’s something <pink gem emoji> related. I’ll respond then, obviously. Please don’t think I’m mad at you, I’m not but I’m feeling trapped and I just want space and to be alone while I sort out my head. _

_Talk to you soon, I promise,_

_Kim”._


	8. Hit Me with Your Best Shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: Language, slurs, Trini gets kinda foul. Bad coping skills. 
> 
> It's Monday. Kim isn't speaking to her or going to school. Trini's left to deal with any fallout from the situation by herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!
> 
> I hope everyone's doing well. This is a Trini solo chapter. I hope you enjoy it!

The next morning, Trini went through her usual routine on autopilot. She showered, got dressed, did her hair, and went downstairs for breakfast in a daze. The night before hadn’t been good; she couldn’t sleep, she was sick to her stomach with anxiety, and the tears wouldn’t let up. The last part made her increasingly angry but that did nothing to stop the tears which left her eyes feeling like ultra-grit sandpaper by morning. The skin beneath them was red and felt like it would tear away if she dared wipe at it much more. 

The expression on her face must have been enough to warn her entire family away because aside from the usual greetings and exchanges, nothing was said about her appearance. Even her little brothers, who were usually right up in her face, gave her space.

“Dad, can I catch a ride?” she asked quietly, pulling her yellow and brown checkered beanie low over her forehead. 

Miguel looked at her with sympathy. He knew something was wrong from looking at his upset daughter as she staggered through her morning. Her eyes were horribly bloodshot while her movements were sluggish. He knew from experience it wasn’t fever-related and when she asked for a ride to school, his suspicions were confirmed; the source of Trini’s angst was Kim Hart. 

“Sure, _mija_ ,” he smiled. “All set?”

The small teen lifted her backpack and swung it up onto her shoulder. It seemed to take a Herculean effort. “Yup. All set.”

“Would you rather stay home today?” he offered in lieu of asking what was wrong. A few years of asking that had taught him how pointless it was sometimes. That particular question usually had the opposite effect he wanted and caused Trini to shut down.

She shook her head but kept her eyes on the floor. “No. ‘sides, I got a big test I can’t miss.”

“All right. Grab a jacket, it’s starting to get cold,” he said gently. 

Trini nodded and retrieved her heavier army jacket from the closet. “All set.”

Thankfully, to Trini at least, Miguel didn’t try to force any more small talk on the ride to school. He turned the radio to their favorite station and while he did talk, it was nothing she needed to engage in. It was family things and plans for the upcoming holiday. At drop-off, he gave her a wave and Trini could tell from the look on his face that he knew something was wrong and cared, but was giving her space. She was immensely grateful.

After years of having a strained relationship with both her parents, within the last month or two something with her father had changed dramatically. Whereas he used to avoid or ignore many of the conflicts between Trini and her mother or took June’s side when he did get involved, he nearly always spoke up when the two women started fighting. As a bonus, he didn’t always take June’s side and was the voice of reason, even going so far as to call June out when she was being unreasonable. These were things Trini never expected to have. While she in no way felt that he was favoring her over her mother, Trini at least felt she had a fair shot at explaining herself to one parent. Miguel would likely let her have her say before punishing her for something and that punishment would be more likely to properly fit the crime.

Then, the way he defended her against her mother when the whole conversion therapy mess had happened and went out of his way to learn more… that was the father Trini remembered from when she was little. He was who she needed, not the distant man who sat silently at dinner when the arguments began. 

She was glad to have him back.

Shutting the door, she managed to give him a weak smile. “Thanks.”

He nodded. “Will you need a ride home?”

“No, I got plans.”

“Ok, just watch curfew,” Miguel told her, smiling back. “Try and have a good day, sweetie.”

“Yeah, I will.”

“Whatever’s going on? It’ll work itself out. I just know it.”

Trini gave him a doubtful look. “I hope so.”

“It will. Have faith. Call if you need anything or want to cut out early. I’ll come to get you, no questions asked, and take the heat if your mother has a problem with it, ok?”

Surprised, Trini managed a genuine smile. “Thanks, Dad, I appreciate that. And you.”

“I love you too.” 

They said their good-byes before Miguel drove off leaving Trini standing in front of the school. Her eyes darted around for the boys; she didn’t want to walk in alone. She rarely walked in alone anymore since Kim started picking her up in the morning on a regular basis. So regularly that Miguel had offered to pay her gas money but the girl refused, unsurprisingly. 

The Ranger link told her that they were nearby but unaware of her distress and Kim’s. Somehow they’d both kept their emotions from cluttering the link too much. Some bleed-over was expected but other than a lewd joke in a text from Zack around 4 AM they hadn’t acknowledged anything. Being teenagers meant up-and-down emotions all the time and the boys weren’t exempt from their own swings so they all tried to give one another privacy.

It wasn’t easy since the link didn’t discriminate about what emotions it transmitted. It didn’t care if it was a private moment either. It was this secondhand embarrassment from Zack’s dating life that led them to start lessons with Zordon on blocking the link and on keeping their emotions to themselves. Since some of Rita’s fellow villains used emotions as triggers and weapons it was better that they get a handle on them anyway. No one was as advanced as Kim but they’d only met twice so far so expectations weren’t that high. 

Taking a deep breath to tamp down on her brewing anxiety, Trini walked up the steps to the front entrance to the high school. In an effort to keep to herself and stay calm, she reverted to how she was before everything Ranger related disrupted her routine. Back came the indifferent- no- angry facial expression that warned any and all to back off as well as the empty, bored look to usually sharp, engaged hazel eyes. They still saw everything but they no longer engaged with it, allowing Trini to slip away into her own gravity. The unseen, unnoticed wallflower once again.

It was too easy the way she slipped back into her other kind of armor, the way her old methods of self-preservation sprang back into place. Trini pulled the hurt from Kim’s silence to the surface, raw and exposed, and let it unfold into something bigger. She let her anger at herself for crying the entire night wrap around her and harden stronger than diamond. Her bitterness at the way being told not to contact Kim had made her crumble like a bitch (in her opinion) churned beneath the surface and made acid burn in her veins. It fed into the bubble she was re-shielding herself with, making it thicker and it helped Trini detach from her emotions more and more until she could reach her old familiar and safe place of watching herself from the 3rd person, the way it was when she arrived in Angel Grove.

The way she preferred it and should have left it.

She’d let her guard down too far and look at what happened: she was reduced to a blubbering weeping fool like everything she despised by an angry email. An email.

Shoving her balled up fists into her pockets, Trini walked in and instantly detected the uneasy tension in the air. The hallways were busy as usual but oddly subdued. Trini wasn’t sure if that was just her perception or not. There was a heaviness to the air that was muting the sound waves before they hit her ears and the color was leached out of everything.

That last one was most likely her imagination.

What wasn’t her imagination was the way more than one set of eyes followed her to her locker. Even more watched her reaction to what had been done to it. The door was half-blown off; if Trini had to guess a small firework slipped through the slats had done the trick. Whatever had been in the locker was toast but to her memory, thankfully, it was only textbooks and papers. Kim had long learned not to keep anything of value in her locker after the first week of bullying and Trini kept her valuables on her at all times.

The smell of burning paper, cardboard, and metal was still lingering in the air. Somehow, it matched how burnt out Trini felt at that moment. Caution ribbon was taped to the front and Trini didn’t have to be a genius to know that the note taped to the wreckage meant she needed to head to the Office.

“It happened this morning during football practice,” Jason said with a barely hidden edge of anger as he fell into step beside her. “No one knows who did it, which means everyone does but no one will talk. The fire department, police, bomb squad, everyone was here at the ass crack of dawn to make sure the school was safe.”

“Great job informing us,” Zack complained from the other side of Trini. She didn’t even know when he got there. 

“What? And draw attention to it? No way, man,” Jason scoffed. “They’ll replace the locker and their books by Wednesday. Forgotten by Friday.” It was likely the truth and he was disgusted by it. 

“Seems a bit excessive for a prank,” Billy shook his head. “Someone could have been hurt or something important could have been in that locker. There wasn’t, was there?”

“Nope,” Trini said blandly, not wanting to engage.

“D’you think it was a message to Kim about the whole Amanda thing?” Jason asked. 

Trini stopped walking suddenly and blinked at him in confusion. “Which?” she started.

“Uhm, you remember a stolen boyfriend and a nude picture scandal, right?” Jason asked, slightly concerned. “From September?”

“Yeah, Crazy Girl! Hard to forget especially when it’s your bestie involved,” Zack joked with her, giving her a playful shove.

Trini wasn’t in the mood but was relieved that they didn’t know about the newest development yet. She didn’t have the fortitude at the moment to explain it all.

“Fuck off, loser” she shoved Zack back a bit harder in her annoyance. “Yeah, I remember.”

“It’s a bit of delayed retribution, don’t you think?” Billy asked. “I mean, it’s been over 2 months since the incidents. This seems excessive for transgressions from that long ago. Relatively speaking, of course.” 

“No need to be nervous, though. I’m sure no one actually means Kim or Trini harm,” Jason told the other boy although his tone wasn’t entirely convincing. 

“I’m not sure that’s true, Jason,” Billy frowned. “If this had been timed differently, say when they were returning from class it could have been very different. Someone else could have been hurt if they’d been walking by.”

“But we weren’t here so it’s fine,” Trini spat out. “It’s whatever, it’s fine. Who cares? It’s just textbooks and dittos.”

Her teammates looked at her with concern and Trini couldn’t stand it. 

“Look, whatever. I gotta go to the office and deal with this shit since Kim’s out today. See you later.” Without waiting for a response, she left her friends behind with confused looks on their faces.

“What’s eating her?” Jason wondered.

“I dunno. She’s always extra biotchy when Princess isn’t around,” Zack joked but his eyes tracked Trini until she rounded a corner. This behavior wasn’t normal or at least hadn’t been in a while. 

Not since she and Kim started hanging out and getting closer. 

Biting the inside of his lip, Zack sighed. He had a good hunch that whatever was bugging his buddy had everything to do with Kim. There was nothing he could do about it at the moment though, especially when Trini was being so standoffish. When he reached out towards Kim through their link he got a faint sense of anxiety-tinged loneliness which wasn’t any help because those were often the only things he could ever sense from Kim, however faintly.

He’d just have to keep an eye on both girls in case they needed anything. He could at least do that.

Keeping her head down as she walked towards the office made it easier for Trini to ignore the glares and dirty looks from the various cheerleaders and football players that she inevitably passed in the halls. While the rest of the school was in the dark about the drama unfolding, at least for another day, it appeared Amanda and Harper hadn’t wasted any time in letting their group of friends know what was going on. It was only a matter of time before the rumor mill spread it throughout the rest of the school population like wildfire.

Trini briefly wondered if she should have taken a page from Kim’s book and stayed home that day. Somehow, that seemed like a chicken move - not for Kim to have done since she was directly involved in the situation but for Trini who wasn’t friends with Kim or anyone when the original scandal happened. Taking time off from school because she was upset Kim was shutting her out felt weak and like it took some of the gravity of what was going on away from Kim’s suffering. Cheapened it and Trini would never do that.

“Good morning, Ms. Gomez,” Sue, the woman at the front office greeted her when she entered. How the perky woman remembered everyone’s name was a mystery of many, many students. 

“Hey. Uhm, this was left on my locker… or what was left of it,” Trini explained, putting on a more polite face than she felt as she held up the notice.

Sue’s expression darkened. “I heard about that. Destroying school property, what were they thinking? Anyway, here’s the combination to a new locker. I took care of it myself. I’m afraid it’s a hall away from where you were but I think it’s worth it.” She smiled and Trini found she was smiling in response; Sue’s expression was too genuine to ignore.

The atmosphere was completely different from the stifling air that waited just outside the door to the room. It was arguably just as busy with a few ringing phones and the other various secretaries and faculty members zooming around getting their mail and messages before the day started. But the eyes that raised to meet Trini’s here didn’t hold the same suspicion and blame as they did in the halls. One or two, yes, but most were friendly. It was a nice change.

“Yeah, about the locker,” she started after she cleared her throat. “I was sharing with Kim Hart…”

Sue nodded. “I know. Don’t worry, you can keep doing that if you want. We’re a bit short on space with the 8th graders still with us. If there’s an issue, just send Kim to me and I’ll assign her a new one too without her having to go through maintenance either. We’ll just skip them, it’s quicker this way.”

“Wow, thanks,” Trini said. It was a relief since she didn’t know at this point if Kim still wanted to share a locker. “I appreciate it. I know Kim will too.”

“It’s no problem,” Sue told her. “Now, I’ll need a list of all the books you both lost so we can replace them and if you tell me what you need for today, specifically, I’ll see what we have before you go.” The woman’s face grew solemn for a moment. Trini braced herself. “There is a possibility that the police will want to speak to you or Kim or you both about this incident. You know, why someone would have done it.” Her eyes narrowed. “I think we can both guess.”

Trini wasn’t able to school her features quite fast enough; her eyes widened and she took a step back. It had slipped her mind that not only would the student-body know about Kim, Amanda, and Harper but the staff would be faced with it too. Any faculty that hadn’t been aware, although that list had to be small, would be let in on the whole dirty thing.

That could lead to some ‘taking sides’ in a way that was a whole new element Trini didn’t have the mental energy to engage in. Then again, by not saying anything about what they did know, they’d already taken a side.

But Sue seemed new to the information and she was definitely taking a side Trini could appreciate.

“Anyway, Mr. G wanted the two of you to be aware so they weren’t able to surprise you. Here’s a copy of what your rights are,” Sue reached into a drawer under the counter and pulled out a pamphlet. “I printed this off so you’d be informed. Make sure you read that before you talk to them. You haven’t done anything wrong and you have rights.”

Trini nodded.

After a few more minutes of surprisingly pleasant small talk, Trini left the office with a few new notebooks and the texts she needed for the day. They weren’t in the best condition but all the pages were there and they were the most recent editions. 

_That was easier than I expected. Thank you, Sue!_ Trini cheered to herself on her way to her first class. Usually dealing with the Office was a chore but this morning Sue had made it a breeze and given the mood Trini was in, she almost wanted to buy the woman flowers as a thank you for making at least one thing less stressful.

As she headed towards her math class, she was roughly body-checked by a large classmate much the same way Kim had been weeks ago when they’d first returned to school after Rita’s attack. It had sent a distracted, unprepared Kim headfirst into a locker; this time, Trini only barely remembered to move with the shove so that the other person didn’t hurt themselves.

“Fuck you made of?” Ty’s friend and fellow jock Isaac asked as he rubbed his shoulder. 

“Tougher stuff than you,” Trini muttered.

“That’s some big talk from someone so little, shorty,” he mocked. “What are you? 4’11”? My morning shit is bigger than you.”

Rage at the insult to her height zipped through her. “Smarter than you, too,” Trini snapped back. “I ain’t gotta be tall to have a bigger dick than you, pendejo.”

Having had to stoop to hit Trini, Isaac rose to his full height, an easy 6’4” and still going. “What’d you just say to me?”

Fed up and needing someone to direct her anger at, Trini let loose. “Get Ty’s dickcheese outta your ears: fuck off.”

“You little fucker…”

A thought suddenly hit Trini. “Hey, you the asshole who’s always knocking kids around in the halls? Izzat you?”

The tall teen grinned proudly. “You know it. And I love making that bitch of yours eat it the most.”

As hurt as she was, Trini’s blood boiled at the insult to Kim. “Keep it up and you’ll never eat solids again.”

“Tough talk, midget,” the tall boy said, stepping to her. “You gonna back that up?”

“Name the time and place, needledick and I’ll be there,” Trini told him confidently. “You don’t scare me. Are we done?”

Isaac, now in her personal space, leaned over her in an attempt to intimidate. All it did was block some of the light. “Not yet. I got a message for you.”

“So deliver it and get your morning breath outta my face.” She waved her hand in front of her face, making a show of it. There were still people in the halls although Isaac had moved them off to the side with his body check. “You ever hear of a Tic Tac, dude?”

Isaac flinched, insulted. “You gotta lotta nerve showing your face today.”

“You gotta lot showing yours every day.” Trini was all out of fucks to give and all her ‘polite society’ language filters were off. She didn’t owe this guy a thing and unlike Kim, she wasn’t someone who could just take bullying and not react.

“That mouth of yours is gonna get you into trouble, you know.”

“Your girlfriend wasn’t complaining last night,” Trini snarked back almost without thinking about it. “Neither was your mama.”

Isaac looked enraged. For a brief moment, Trini wondered if he was going to try and hit her. Part of her really wished that he would. An accidental suspension from self-defense would give her time off without feeling like she was taking the easy way out. 

It gave her immense pleasure to watch the angry teen have to close his eyes and compose himself before he could speak again. She was getting way under his skin. If she was going to have a shitty day she was taking this fool with her.

“I know what you’re trying to do and I’m not gonna let you provoke me,” Isaac ground out from behind clenched teeth. “The message is that we all know it was you that did it. You and that bitch.”

_ She has a name you fuckwad! _

“Mmm? Did what?” Trini played dumb just for fun.

Isaac glanced around quickly to see if anyone was watching. “You know what I fucking mean! Amanda and Harper are suspended and the whole squad is being punished. We all know it was you two bitches running your ugly mouths.”

Irritated, Trini arched an eyebrow. “Yeah? You and everyone else when it comes out.” She waved vaguely around them. There was no point in denying it. “So what?”

The blunt almost proud response was apparently not what Isaac was expecting. He blinked and pulled back as she stared at him defiantly.

“What? Did they send you to try and scare me? Cuz you’re the biggest or something? Please,” Trini snorted a laugh at him. “I ain’t scared of you or any of the other losers you call friends.”

Quietly raging, Isaac stepped back into her private space. “You should be, you little hood-rat. Don’t make us teach you your place.”

Trini stepped to meet him, sliding the tips of her small, scuffed, and well-loved Chucks over the toes of his large, expensive, and strangely clean Nikes. Isaac scowled and pulled his feet away before glancing at his shoes for any dirt marks. 

“Bring it,” Trini called his bluff. “Bring all your little friends, too. See, I’ve got nothing to lose like some other people. I don’t have some precious football or hockey scholarship waiting for me,” she smirked at him.

Isaac’s face twisted because she had him there. He had offers for both and if he got into any trouble he could kiss it all good-bye. There was nothing he could personally do without risking his future. It was much different for Trini.

Angel Grove was Trini’s future, at least as far as she could tell- as long as she had a Power Coin she was stuck there. It didn’t matter what she wanted to do, the choice had been made when she picked up the yellow rock. Now she was tied to the town and, God help her, Kim Hart.

Unless she gave up being a Ranger and she wasn’t sure that she wanted to do that. Not right now, at least. Who knew about the future? She imagined one day she’d pass it on if she wasn’t killed first.

Shaking that oddly Kim-like thought off, she glowered at the boy in front of her.

“Yeah, see, you’re all talk, aren’tcha? You all are. You guys all think you’re tough until it comes time to actually back up what you say. Yeah, you’ll throw a firecracker in a locker when no one’s around but you’re chickenshits when it comes to anything else, to actually facing a conflict.”

Isaac glared at her, growing red in the face because he knew she was right. This wasn’t going the way he and his buddies imagined it would. The Latina was so tiny and typically so quiet they expected her to shrink away if confronted when she was alone - without Kim as a backup or Jason Scott and the two idiots that hung around him to get between them. This was supposed to be an easy ‘scare the bitch’ into recanting thing. 

_ Gomez only takes action in reaction to Kim _ , at least according to Amanda. Isaac and the gang had banked on that but here the smaller girl was responding in a much scarier way than Kim ever would. 

“Y-you won’t get away with any of this,” he huffed and puffed.

“I’m not a supervillain; this is karma for the shit they’ve been doing!”

“This could screw up their future, man. Don’t you realize that?” Isaac asked, trying another tactic. “What scholarships and college they go to? All that?”

“You really think Harper is going to college? Please,” Trini snickered. “Amanda? Meh, maybe but nothing above the state level.”

“You’re such a bitch,” Isaac spat.

“I’m nothing compared to those two!” Trini hissed. “Kim was punished for what she did. By the school, her parents, her friends, you… everyone! She’s apologized, taken the shit you’ve all dealt out for what? Three fucking months now!”

Isaac opened his mouth but Trini didn’t give him a chance to speak now that she was on a roll. “She did nothing in return to them. Just kept quiet and tried to disappear. But, those two putas are relentless. Every day they bully and harass her. Where’s the fairness in that, huh? That shit all went on Kim’s school transcript and will get in the way of her college dreams too so don’t come at me with that shit. Fucking hypocrite. You only care about it affecting your friends, well it affects mine too so back off!” 

Part of her felt better after the outburst but the part of her the most hurt by Kim railed against her easy defense of the other girl. 

That angry part of herself screamed at her.  _ You’re mad at her! Throw her under the bus! _

But Trini knew better; she was upset and hurt but that didn’t mean Kim deserved any of the bullyings she was getting. Not to the extent that it had gotten to, either. The two situations were connected but vastly different. It was work to keep that in mind and it would be a lot easier if Trini could just shut it all out like she used to. 

She was trying but it wasn’t easy and that added to her annoyance.

“Like the rich bitch needs to worry about any of that!” Isaac growled. “Mommy and Daddy will pay for her entire future. Fuck her. And you.”

That was such a total lie; the Harts had no intention of coddling or providing for Kim once she graduated high school so another year and a half and Kim would be on her own. Trini wanted to tell Isaac that, to dispel some of the myths about Kim’s ‘perfect’ home-life but it wasn’t her place. Instead, she stared him in the eye and tried to set him straight about something else. 

“Look, loser, take this back to your idiot friends. I didn’t actually tell anyone…”

“Yeah, right.”

“I didn’t,” Trini insisted with sharp finality. “Harper and I were having a talk about it and a teacher overheard. I guess she didn’t like what she heard and she reported it. Not me. Not Kim.” 

“Like anyone’s gonna believe that. Hart’s had it out for Amanda all year,” Isaac scoffed.

“Try the other way around, dipshit…”

“She has it coming. And now, you both do.” Isaac leaned down so that he was almost nose to nose with her which was quite the feat given the height difference. “Brace yourself, bitch; winter is coming.”

Barely able to keep from headbutting him, Trini didn’t back down. “Izzat a threat?”

“So what if it is?”

“That’s fine, but, two things. One, my Mama taught me never to start it but to make sure I finish it, so make sure you hit me hard enough that I stay down the first time. Otherwise, I’m gonna end you. Second,” she looked around the hallway, “there are about 4 teachers watching us now. I wonder what they think we’re talking about? Probably nothing good.”

Isaac jumped and looked around. Sure enough, there were four different teachers not very subtly watching them. His lack of situational awareness was hilarious and Trini allowed herself a smile at his distress. 

“Mr. Rice, is there a problem?” Mr. Hernandez asked pointedly. “You seem to be taking up a lot of Ms. Gomez’s time… and personal space,” he added dryly and the underlying point could not be mistaken, “this morning. She’s nearly late for my class. Is she free to go?”

Isaac stepped away from Trini and lowered his head. “No, no problem, sir,” he mumbled. “Yeah, she can go."

“Good, then you should get to your class before you’re late, Mr. Rice and maybe learn to respect your fellow student’s personal space. You seem to be crowding Ms. Gomez a bit and it’s making her noticeably uncomfortable. As a matter of fact, I will be making a point of speaking to you and your parents to discuss this matter as soon as possible.”

Isaac glanced at Trini and took another step away. “Yeah, uh, sorry. Uhm. Yeah.” And with that, Isaac left at a brisk walk without looking back.

Trini walked over to Mr. Hernandez’s class and gave him a grateful look. “It’s going to be like that for a little while,” he told her softly. “They’re going to be upset and feel put out and they’re going to take it out on you if you’re here. I wouldn’t blame you if you took a few days off like Ms. Hart is doing.”

“My folks aren’t as understanding,” Trini sighed.

“Have you tried…”

Trini waved the kind man off. “Yeah, they won’t understand. I can take it but thanks for your help. I appreciate it.” And she honestly did. That was twice today already that staff had helped her out.

“Anytime. It’s about time someone put those girls in their place.”

Trini’s jaw almost hit the floor.

After class, when Trini arrived at her new locker, she grinned for the first time since her father dropped her off. She’d been given one of the rare and highly-coveted double-sized lockers on campus, plus it was in the hall closest to most of her classes. It was nowhere near any of the troublemakers and as an added bonus it had been installed where there was an existing outlet available on the wall. She and Kim had their own private outlet to charge their phones, laptops, etc whatever when needed. Socket space was sacred and hard to come by on campus. This was like winning the lottery or something. 

It was just what Trini needed.

“Thanks, Sue.”


	9. A Conversation Among Fish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: Language. PTSD-Trini, bad Coping skills, talk of bullying (past tense), hints at fat-shaming, possible eating disorders, mention of suicidal ideation  
> Trini & Jason centric.   
> The rest of the school day takes its toll on Trini. Jason takes her for a ride to work things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!   
> Happy (belated) holidays and Happy New Year!   
> I had originally planned to update at both Christmas and New Years' but I wasn't satisfied with what I had and then it grew larger than I anticipated. To make up for it, here are both updates in one. 
> 
> Enjoy!

The rest of the day was hit-or-miss for Trini. While her interactions with Sue and Mr. Hernandez had given her hope, a few other faculty members weren’t as friendly. Her sociology teacher apparently didn’t like the situation and graded a paper Trini had written with a “D”. She’d never gotten below a B+ in that class and had done nothing different with this paper than the three before it. Her one attempt at voicing her displeasure had earned her an incredibly dirty look and she was told to ‘sit down and be quiet’.

Incensed, she shoved the heavily red-marked paper into her bag and left before she started swearing. The teacher called after her to come back to class but Trini just kept going otherwise she was going to give the woman an unkind piece of her mind just like she had with Isaac. Unlike with Isaac, there would be consequences and she’d be damned if she gave anyone the satisfaction of getting her suspended by actually provoking her first.

That didn’t stop her from making plans to go to the principal about it when she was calmer, however, while sitting in the furthest bathroom to hide out before her next class. Thankfully, no one wandered in and nothing of note happened while she was in there. Otherwise, they might have gotten an unwarranted ass-chewing. 

At lunch, the boys silently decided not to push their smallest friend into talking; the expression on her face indicated that they’d likely get an earful if they did. Instead, they sat and quietly guarded her against the glares and dirty looks that none of them missed, not even Billy and his sometimes spotty social skills. There was no missing the angry looks being directed at the Latina or ignoring the fact that someone was upset enough to blow up her locker. They didn’t know what was going on or why Kim wasn’t there but they weren’t going to let anyone near Trini bother her in the meantime. 

By the end of the day, Trini had racked up 1 detention, 2 warnings, and 2 more teachers that were, relatively speaking, on her side. The warnings came from the same teacher who accused Trini of having an ‘attitude problem’ which the teen didn’t deny; she wasn’t going to smile and laugh when anyone made a joke at her or Kim’s expense. The detention was for finally losing her patience and turning the situation on that teacher; Mrs. Benelli didn’t appreciate the joke about her husband’s rumored infidelity with the barely-legal nanny. And the nanny’s twin sister. 

“No regrets,” Trini told Mrs. Benelli as the woman fumed and wrote out the detention slip for her. And she didn’t have any; the comment made the woman shut up about Kim. She’d been making snarky remarks about Kim not being brave enough to show up when she was causing trouble. The woman tried to disguise it within the context of the class discussion but it was a thin façade that anyone could see through.

Apparently, Mrs. Benelli did not appreciate the phrase, ‘turnabout is fair play’.

After that, Trini was ready to kick the shit out of about 60% of the school population, faculty included. Since that wasn’t an option, she grabbed what she needed for homework and headed out the door. Although she told her father she had plans, she didn’t. She just didn’t want to go home immediately after school. Kim had ditched training so Jason had called it off. Besides, he could tell that their Yellow Ranger was off her game too. It was better for them all to take a day.

Despite telling herself that she wouldn’t, Trini checked her phone for messages. She didn’t want to admit it but she was hoping to see one from Kim. Every time she looked and no message greeted her, it sent a sharp pain through her chest. That pain reignited the anger that simmered in Trini’s chest at the entire thing- at being so easily destroyed by a moderate amount of anger from Kim, someone she wasn’t even dating. Someone she didn’t even love.

_ Grrr... _

It was ridiculous that someone had that sort of power over her emotions; she was a loner for a reason. This wasn’t normal. It was disorienting. 

She definitely didn’t like it. 

The truth was, Trini had never encountered anyone who turned her carefully crafted defenses upside down so easily. No one had left her feeling so raw and open, like a wound- not even a family member. 

It was ironic that the older teen had managed to do to her what Trini wanted to do to break through the shell Kim protected herself with. She just hadn’t realized how vulnerable it would make her. It gave her insight as to why Kim pushed back against it. 

Obviously, she hadn’t been nearly as successful as Kim. At least not to Trini’s knowledge. And she hadn’t realized how disconcerting it was for someone to upend all her defenses- maybe it was unfair to do it to Kim. Then again, clearly, the way Kim was going about dealing with things wasn’t healthy whereas Trini typically had things under control.

It was completely different. Different situations, different baggage. Just different.

While she was convincing herself of this, Jason’s beat-up pick up red truck pulled up alongside her and idled. He was still in the process of repairing it but it was roadworthy, barely.

The window rolled down. “Hey, hop in,” the blonde told her in a friendly tone. 

Wrinkling her nose to get the stench of exhaust out of it, Trini squinted at him. “I thought we didn’t have training?” The last thing that she was in the mood for was sparring and, heaven help her, she didn’t want to accidentally hurt someone because of her shitty mood. There was no telling if she’d measure her strength right, not without yet more training.

She’d never forgive herself. 

“We don’t but you need something to do and I got somewhere to be,” Jason said vaguely. “Get in.”

Sighing, Trini climbed into the passenger side of the truck. “Fine, but this doesn’t mean I wanna talk or some shit. Just go where you’re going and don’t try any of that heart-to-heart, team-building bullshit with me. I’m not in the mood.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Jason smirked as she buckled her seatbelt. “Heart-to-Hart,” he snorted.

“Motherfuc-” she half-rose out of the bucket seat.

“Easy, Trini,” Jason chuckled. “That answered my main question. This involves our lovely Ms. Hart, Kim herself somehow.” He pulled out of the parking lot.

Shrinking down in her seat in annoyance and shame at how easily he set her off, Trini crossed her arms over her chest with a huff.  _ Can’t even hear a play on her fucking name without going off. _ “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“I get that,” Jason nodded, “I do. But I can’t leave you to stew, either. It’s not good for you or the team. There’s a lot of emotional…on the link. There’s a lot of…” He searched for the appropriate word to describe the state of their shared empathic link which had just been getting messier and messier throughout the day- thanks to Trini’s progressively worsening mood. 

“Static?” 

“Crossfire,” Jason offered, “going on that makes it hard to tell who’s who. The anger and that stuff? I figure is you…|

Affronted, Trini glared. “Why do you just assume that’s me?”

“Seriously? Do you hear yourself?”

Trini wasn’t sure what was worse, that he was right or that he sounded a lot like Kim

“I said I don’t wanna talk about it. I’ll roll out at the next light unless you shut the hell up,” she warned with a growl as she grabbed her backpack to duck out the door. The click of the child-safe locks made her arch a pointed eyebrow at the Red Ranger. “You think that’ll stop me? I’ll take the fucking door with me. You got insurance.”

“Damn, Trini, take it easy! I’m not your enemy,” Jason said exasperatedly. “For fucks sake, take a breath and calm down. I get that you’re in a shit mood but you don’t get to take that out on me. Not today.” 

It was possibly because he kept his voice kind, if frustrated, but Trini felt incredibly chastised by Jason’s words. She was being unjustly mean to Jason and while her whole thing was being a bit of an asshole, she wasn’t supposed to be a straight-up dick about things. There was a whole new level of disrespect that she was wandering dangerously close to. 

“Sorry,” she sighed out. “Sorry. I’m just… having a bad day, you know?” She turned her head and stared out at the scenery as it passed.

“Yeah, I bet. Have anything to do with Amanda and Harper’s suspension?” Jason asked gently. Trini’s head swiveled to look at him so quickly he was surprised she didn’t break it. “I used to be part of that whole group, remember?” There was a self-deprecating wryness to his voice that was a strange echo of the bitter one that tinged Kim’s when she spoke of her time around the same people. “Some of them still talk to me but since I’m friends with Kim now, well… some of them had some not-so-nice things to say to me, some things to pass on to Kim and you both.”

“Oh goody,” Trini snarked. 

Truthfully, Jason couldn’t blame Trini for acting the way she was. Many of the things that he had been told to ‘pass on’ to the two girls had been mean and outright vile. He was kind of proud of himself for not punching anyone. He knew some of them were trying to provoke him, more than happy to get any one of Kim’s friends in trouble. It didn’t have to be Trini. Anything to fuck with the brunette was enough.

“I told them all to wake up and that Amanda and Harper caused this mess,” he told her. Trini perked up a bit. “I mean, whatever happened at the beginning of the year was one thing but this has gone on too long. It was about time it got called out. I don’t know everything that’s going on but I’m glad you said something…”

“I didn’t,” Trini interrupted. Jason glanced at her in surprise. “Yeah, trust me I’ve wanted to but nah, I confronted Harper about it about a week ago and the PE teacher overheard. Guess she said something.”

“And now you and Kim are gonna catch all the flak for it,” Jason groaned in sympathetic understanding. 

“Yeah, I don’t think Ms. M thought that far ahead,” Trini complained. “It’s going to be a huge shitshow by tomorrow.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah. It’s just, I didn’t mean for this to happen, you know? I was trying to let Kim handle it but…”

“But?” Jason prodded when Trini didn’t continue after two long minutes.

“That’s its own mess,” she finished softly. A frown covered her face as she recognized their destination. “The marina? I don’t do saltwater or boats,  _ pescadero _ . Remember?”

Jason laughed while he parked his truck. “Grab your bag.”

Irritated but several miles from home, Trini grumbled under her breath as she got out of the truck. “... kidnapping… fucking fishing… ned boat.”

“I can hear you,” Jason pointed out, amused. “I did not kidnap you and we’re not going fishing on the god-damned boat. I need to do a few repairs and I thought you could work off some of this negative energy by moving some gear around for my Dad. You know he pays for any help you guys can give.”

“It smells like dead fish, Jason,” Trini came very close to whining. The closer they walked to Jason’s father’s boat and the water, the stronger the scent of the saltwater and sea life. Unfortunately, those triggers meant Trini’s PTSD rose to the surface. Her heart began to race and it felt like her feet were getting heavier with each step closer to the floating vessel. 

Just as they reached the walkway, her legs refused to go any further, rooting her to the spot. Immediately, her skin started to crawl and a cold sweat began to break out along her hairline.

_ Rita’s hand closing around her throat… squeezing… the absolute despair in knowing she’ll never get to know her new friends better, that they’ll never reach her in time… Rita’s breath so close to her face… that stench…  _

“Hey, easy Trini,” Jason spoke slowly and clearly. His hand gently landed on her shoulder, breaking Trini out of her flashback and back into the present. “Deep breath. Oh, maybe not… I’m right here, though. Ok? My hand’s on your shoulder. Rita’s not here.”

Trini nodded numbly. Despite the smell of fish that permeated the air, it wasn’t the same as the fetid, rotten odor that hung around the villain. Trini tried to focus on that and then moved on to what else she could smell besides that and the ocean.

Diesel fuel.

Exhaust.

That coolness in the air that came off the ocean in mid-November. It was different from the saltwater smell. It reminded Trini of an early morning frost on the grass back when she lived on the East Coast when she was younger. With just a slightly different tang to it. 

And Jason’s cologne, thankfully a few layers lighter than it had been that morning. Trini swore she’d never understand the obsession with strong-smelling colognes and teenagers. She couldn’t even blame it on boys since she knew plenty of girls and non-binary individuals that went way too far with an Axe spray can on occasion.

“You with me?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I got it.”

“Good. Now, I know it smells,” he said, moving on before Trini could get lost in her head again. “But I was thinking that since we’re docked and not going anywhere, you’d feel safer, you know? The boat’s not going out to sea, we’re right here at the shore where there’s help if somehow,” he looked around, “you managed to fall in. I’m right here to make sure you don’t, though. You won’t.”

He said it with such conviction that she felt the sting of tears in her eyes for the millionth time that day. Thankfully, they were caused by her friend’s thoughtfulness and not her lingering hurt from Kim’s continued silence.

“Exposure therapy?” she asked, her voice watery. She tried to give him a smirk but it came out as more of a grimace. 

Jason shrugged, a little nervous. “Kinda? They’re just finishing offloading the last of this last haul. They freeze it at sea so it usually doesn’t smell like this but the cooler in one of the small tanks broke so it reeks of fish. They’re gonna clean and fix it soon. I thought we could work on like, killing that smell for you as a trigger since bleach and whatnot’s gonna start washing it out in an hour or so.”

Trini bit her lip and hesitated. She really, really would rather not. 

He looked unsure for a moment. “I mean, I’m not an expert or anything. But we live on the coast and the sea and fish are stuff we’re always gonna come across.” He ran a nervous hand through his shaggy hair; he needed a haircut. “If you wait too long, it’s gonna get worse, y’know?”

Not wanting Jason to lose confidence since he wasn’t doing a bad job at leading today, Trini spoke up. “I get it, Jace,” she reassured him. “I don’t like it, but I get it. It’s… it’s frigging strong, man,” she winced from the stench. “Ug, how do you stand it? It’s nauseating even without reminding me of… other things.”

Jason made a knowing face. “Oh, I know. No, you don’t get used to it.” 

“Reassuring.”

He gave her a crooked smile. “I didn’t wanna lie to you. Wouldn’t help.”

“Appreciate it. I’m still nauseous and I don’t wanna do it.”

“I know. I don’t want to do it to you. But…”

“Yeah.” She looked out over the water. It really was quite beautiful and she enjoyed the beach. It would be a shame to let that beast of a woman take away the things she enjoyed.

“I’m not letting her win,” she grit out through her teeth. The thought of it turned her nausea into fiery determination.

Jason nodded in understanding. “Good. Come on, we’ll go together.”

-

“Jason, don’t work her too hard, you know what I mean?” Sam Scott looked around the dock. There weren’t many other fishermen out on their boats at the moment but there were still cameras and other things for them to consider. He took his son’s secret identity, and therefore Trini’s, very seriously. Not that he and Jason had openly spoken about the Power Ranger thing but between the newspaper article posted on the fridge and the knowing looks, they’d come to a silent understanding. 

Strangely, that silence had brought the two men closer. While they didn’t talk about the Power Rangers, they did talk about just about everything else. Over the past two months, their fractured relationship had slowly healed mainly due to a lot of effort on both sides. Almost losing his Dad the day of the attack had opened Jason’s eyes to a lot of things and what he was taking for granted in his life. He couldn’t speak for the man, but Jason imagined finding out his wayward son was an erstwhile superhero probably did the same to his father. 

Now they spent what free time they could talking about the things they once did, like their favorite sports teams, watching what games they could catch together with their schedules as well as newer things such as what sorts of things Jason wanted to do or see in his life. While the subjects of college and family occasionally came up, more so when his mother was around, Jason was grateful they weren’t anything his father focused on anymore. The questions were more ‘where would you like to visit and why’ which brought out Jason’s interest in architecture and travel instead of ‘what are your plans for your life’. 

Jason had to answer to that beyond what being a Ranger brought him. He felt it was unfair to think of anything else since that was likely going to take all his attention once he graduated. But if/when they passed on the coins to the next generation of Rangers? Who knew what his plans were and it was such an unknown as to when and how that he didn’t waste time entertaining the thought.

When talking to his dad, it felt like Jason was being seen as his own person for the first time, not as just a child. Not as an equal; there was a long way to go before Jason ever came close to that. But the questions were becoming more mature and personal- Sam was getting to know his son as an individual and not as family.

Jason loved it.

“We’ll be careful, Dad,” Jason promised. “You should stick to one net or two cages at a time so we don’t draw attention. Only move one bundle of cable or rope at a time, too. That’s probably pushing it given that you’re so uh, small.” He grimaced.

Trini nodded, letting the size comment go since it wasn’t meant as a jab. As hard as she tried not to be so sensitive about it, derogatory comments about her size still irritated her. It didn’t help to know that within the next few years both her brothers would probably be taller than her.

God help them if they tried to use that against her. 

“Make sure to put those gloves on. This stuff isn’t the cleanest right now.”

“Gotcha,” Trini said as she slipped on the nearest pair. They were big but would do the job. They didn’t have to worry about injuries but appearances were everything.

“Everything gets loaded onto the pallets for offloading. It’s time to change out the gear for the season. Just keep loading the pallets the way they’re started.” Jason pointed towards the stacks in question. “Don’t go too fast or do too much,” he suggested.

“Uh-huh.”

“If you have a problem, I’m right here,” he reassured her. “It’s just us and my Dad. No evil space witches, no giant gold monsters. Just us.”

Trini nodded, still trying to breathe through the smell of fish. “Ok.” 

It took a few minutes for her to get her ‘sea legs’ under her with the gentle rocking of the boat being enough to make her stumble and swallow hard a few times. Her eyes constantly scanned the boat and the horizon looking for any sign of impending attack, the smell of the fish putting her on high alert. By the time she’d moved a stack of nets, her shoulders were tense enough to ache.

“Shit,” she groaned, rolling her neck to relieve the tension.

“You ok?” Jason asked from where he was repairing some equipment. 

“Yeah, just tense,” Trini sighed. “I keep waiting for her to like, jump up or drop in and it’s making me all…” she mimed how tense she was, “so I’m like, wired.”

Jason nodded and took a quick glance around before tapping his watch. “Alpha? Can you tell me if there’s any reading of Rita on Earth? I’m just checking to be sure.” He kept his voice whisper-soft.

“No sign of Rita Repulsa anywhere on the surface, Master Jason!” Alpha replied a hair louder than either teen appreciated. 

Throwing his hand down over the watch, Jason winced and looked around to see if anyone was looking at them. No one was. There was enough ambient noise at the marina to cover the sound of Alpha.

“Ay Dios Mio, Alpha, volume!” Trini snapped, exasperated. “We’re in public.”

“Ai, ai, aiiii,” Alpha cried out at a much lower volume. “Sorry! Oh! I mean sorry. So sorry. I’ll just… yeah remember that for next time.”

Both teens rolled their eyes at their sentient android.

“But, ahhh, no sign of uhm, that,” Alpha repeated.

“Thanks,” Jason said. He cut off the comm with a shake of his head. “At least we know.”

“I think the whole marina knows,” Trini responded wryly. “But thanks.” Without thinking, she took out her phone to check for messages. The lack of anything from Kim again hit her like a kick to the gut. She made an audible grunt.

“Nothing from Kim?” Jason asked carefully. The Yellow Ranger glared before she could stop herself. “C’mon, I’m not stupid.”

“Mind your business,” she gruffed back. 

The blonde pretended to think about it. “No,” he cheeked. “Besides, who else are you gonna talk to about Kim? Zack? He’s never been friends with her before.”

“Neither have you from what Kim’s told me,” Trini countered. “Yeah, you traveled in the same circles but you weren’t exactly friends.”

“Yeah,” Jason chuckled, “she pointed that same thing out to me once too. I’d still say I know her better than Zack does. Or Billy.”

Reluctantly, Trini had to agree. “So what? Doesn’t mean I’m gonna like, tell you anything.”

“I get that. But if she’s not talking to you, of all people, you’ve either really pissed her off or she’s feeling really bad,” Jason guessed. “Or both. I mean, from what the guys on the team were saying the whole suspension thing is bad for Amanda and Harper.”

It was exhausting just to think about what the rest of the week was going to be like. “I guess,” Trini gave in a little. “All the notices are going out tonight I think. Or tomorrow. At this point, I can’t even remember.”

“Notices?”

“Yeah, from the school and stuff. They explain what’s been going on and what they’re doing to ‘fix’ it,” she explained using air quotes on ‘fix’. “They don’t name any names but yeah, everyone’s gonna know who’s who.”

“Does Kim blame you?”

“Sorta? I guess?” Trini shrugged. “She knows I didn’t tell and that Ms. M did but she’s upset about the whole thing. They contacted her parents and now they’re up her ass which is more garbage she doesn’t need and… God, it’s just this huge mess.”

She sat down heavily on the bench seat. “I like, feel bad that this is happening and really wish she would talk to me but there’s a part of me that’s relieved, you know? That this shit’s out in the open. Maybe now they’ll back off or something.”

“Can’t you text her?”

“No,” Trini shook her head sadly. “She asked me not to and for once I’m not gonna push it.” Jason made an odd sound, half a thoughtful hum, half concerned grunt. The skin on Trini’s nape prickled. “What?”

“Hmmm? Nah, nothing. Just Kim being Kim,” the older teen answered. The response did nothing to make Trini feel any better.

“What does that mean?” she prodded. 

“Nothing. Just means Kim’s being, well, Kim,” Jason tried to explain.

“You sound like you know something I don’t, though.”

“No, not really…”

“Not really? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Wait, no, hold on.”

“Dude, you can’t tell me that you know her better than I do and then start saying vague shit…”

“You’re… All I meant was,” Jason started before Trini could get any more wound up, “that Kim has a habit of dropping off the radar when she’s upset. It’s just what she does. That’s all that sound meant.”

Narrowing her eyes at him, Trini begrudgingly accepted this. “So, I’m not being singled out?”

“No, I don’t think so. I haven’t heard from her all day either if that’s what you mean.”

“Kinda,” Trini admitted. It felt a little selfish but it did make her feel better. 

Thinking about it, Jason really did know Kim better, or at least longer. If there was anyone she could ask about the brunette’s past behaviors, it was him. The only thing was, she didn’t want it getting back to Kim herself.

“Can I trust you?” she asked. The immediately insulted look on Jason’s face had her speaking quickly to explain. “I mean if I wanted to talk about some stuff that I didn’t want to get back to Kim. I don’t wanna talk to you and then get my ass chewed out because you went behind my back. It’s not you, personally, but it’s happened enough in the past that it’s kinda why I don’t trust people to begin with.” She gave him a searching look. “If you’re just gonna make shit worse, nevermind.” 

The pinched look to Jason’s features eased. “I promise I won’t go behind your back.” His face was so sincere that Trini decided to take the chance. They were supposed to be a team and rely on each other, if Jason betrayed her here it would destroy a lot of what they were trying to build as Rangers. And as friends.

“Ok,” she gave a single, curt nod. “I’ll give it a go. But, one weird look from Kim or something I say comes back to me from her and I’ll kick your red ass, got it?”

“Got it,” Jason agreed with a smile. He was amazed she was talking to him in the first place, he was going to do everything he could to honor this new level of trust.

“Cool. What I wanna ask is all scattered in my head so I need a minute to think it out.”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll just be working on this. A little more TLC and it’ll be good as new.”

As she went back to moving the gear around, Trini considered the things she wanted to ask about Kim. Jason’s knowledge was likely to be somewhat vague since he wasn’t close with the other girl and he was a normal teenager, if it didn’t involve him directly, he wasn’t exactly paying attention. There was the added complication that she had to be careful not to give away too much about Kim’s home and family situation. Those were things he very likely had no clue about and Kim would never forgive her for spilling the details.

Maybe she should start small. “Ok, for starters, how well  _ would  _ you say you know her? Where’s your info coming from?” 

“I don’t know her as well as you, obviously,” Jason answered without missing a beat. “Not so personally but I met her, her Freshman year, which woulda been my sophomore year. She didn’t grow up here in Angel Grove.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Oh, ok. I guess most of us met her then but I think she’d been here for a while before that. She immediately made the JV cheerleading team that summer when they had tryouts. By mid-September, they moved her to varsity which was rare.”

“You met her through there?”

“Yeah, my girlfriend at the time was a cheerleader, Casey. She was a Junior and a co-captain Kim’s first year if I’m remembering right.”

“Your info’s from Casey?”

“Some of it. And being around Kim myself,” Jason pointed out. 

“All right.” She thought a minute. “2 to 3 years. How much would you say she’s changed since then?”

“How’d you mean? What she wears? Acts? Does? Cuz a lot’s the same, some’s different.”

The answer was unsatisfying. “I’m interested in what she says, how she acted then versus now,” Trini tried to clarify. “You hear some of the shit she says, right?”

“Sure,” Jason hummed as he thought. Trini gave him whatever time he needed even if she wasn’t feeling very patient. “I remember her being a bit mousey? I guess, at first. Her freshman year like any new kid would be. But not for very long,” Jason recalled. “She couldn’t afford to be in that group or they’d eat her alive.” 

Kim’s voice explaining how she’d do anything to fit in when she first moved to Angel Grove echoed in Trini’s mind.

“Plus, she didn’t make many friends by being moved up to varsity over some of the upperclassmen who’d been there longer.”

“That wasn’t her fault.”

“Try telling that to the five or six jealous girls who were vying for that spot,” Jason shook his head. “Trust me, they hated her for it. Casey talked about it all the time but stuck by her decision.” 

“So she had to fight back against that too?”

“Yeah, I guess. When they started winning competitions more and more the rumors and shit-talking behind her back calmed down. Hard to be mad when you’re winning trophies,” Jason explained. 

“I bet,” Trini snorted, displeased. “She had something they could use so of course, they treated her better.”

“I wouldn’t say better but maybe they gave her a little respect. As far as the shit talk, she started giving it back to them, talking back and telling them off all the time. She could burn them pretty good.”

“Really?” Trini scoffed. “Wish she’d do more of that now.”

A smirk pulled at Jason’s lips. “Seriously? When does she not talk back?” he joked. “She roasts Zack all the time.”

“When she needs to,” Trini sighed, tiredly. “Nevermind.” She pinched the bridge of her nose not sure if the impending headache she could feel was due to the conversation or the fish stench.

“Ah. The bullying. What this whole thing is about.”

“For starters,” Trini agreed. At Jason’s inquisitive look, she shook her head. “Nah, my lips are sealed. The emails going out will tell you the basics of everything but anything more than that will betray Kim’s trust and I can’t do that.”

“I understand,” Jason said sagely. 

“Tell me about Amanda and Harper, though,” Trini suggested. “Like, why was Kim friends with them? Were they ever nice to her? Who stays friends with people like that?”

Sitting back a little as he thought, Jason tilted his head. “Yeah, I dunno. There were some nicer girls on the squad but yeah, they usually don’t last that long now that I think about it. Uhm...I remember Case saying that Harper always picked on Kim, from the moment she got here. Didn’t matter what Kim did, it was wrong somehow and Harper let her know it.”

“Not surprised,” Trini grumbled. “There’s gotta be some sorta deeper jealousy thing going on there with her. She’s got way too much hate for Kim for it to be normal teenage shit.”

“Yeah, probably. At first, I remember Amanda and Kim being kinda close. Amanda’s who introduced Kim to everyone. I think she was her first friend here.”

Trini rolled her eyes.  _ Typical. Betrayed by her first friend in town.  _

“Harper was more of a third wheel that first year. She and Amanda were still on the JV team while Kim was on varsity. Kim and Amanda hung out and Harper just tagged along, magically showing up where they were. Casey called it creepy when she heard them talking about it.”

“Vaguely stalkerish,” Trini commented dryly.

“Yeah but was she stalking Kim or Amanda?”

“Good question. What happened by the next year?” Trini questioned. “What changed?”

“I’m not sure but it was something that summer. When school started again it was like everyone had switched roles,” he rolled his eyes. “The start to the next year was shit for Kim and me. I had strep and missed most of the pre-season. When I caught up with everyone, the gang was being really mean to Kim.”

“Right, last year. I started school here then,” Trini reminded him.

“Yeah,” he nodded, a slight blush to his cheeks at having forgotten again that Trini started school with them over a year ago. “Ty was so pissed at her. Remember why?” Trini shook her head. “There were a couple of reasons but mostly because she took a last-minute trip to like, France or somewhere for the summer and didn’t tell him until after she left.”

“Huh, rude,” Trini smirked. She didn’t think leaving Ty behind was at all rude. 

“He was so insulted. I told him it was no big deal since she didn’t tell Amanda or Harper or anyone else either,” Jason added. “Her parents just packed her up and off they went in the middle of the night.” He frowned as more memories came back. “But he didn’t listen. There were some ugly rumors about her that summer, about why she’d take off like that.” His usually light blue eyes turned dark. “Ty started a lot of them himself. I nearly knocked his teeth out myself.”

“Yeah, I remember,” Trini snarled. Some of the first things she heard about Kimberly Hart were not the kindest or the best… then she met the older teen and nothing matched what she’d been prepared to expect.

“Anyway, while she was gone Harper got her braces off, a dye job, and a nose job. There were some rumors her parents paid for a boob job or sent her to a fat camp too but I dunno.”

“Ah, so a total transformation summer?”

“Oh yeah,” Jason confirmed. “So school starts again and Harper’s all new and suddenly popular. She’s a big deal, right? The right clothes, right look, but same Harper. Still, she was at the top with Amanda. At least until Kim walked in.”

Trini didn’t need Jason to narrate that moment.

She’d been walking the halls of Angel Grove High School for the first time when Kim Hart walked by in an airy orange and brushed pink outfit, her long hair flowing behind her and smelling like summer and all of Trini’s dreams.

“When Kim came back, she’d had a growth spurt that, uh… objectively speaking…” Jason’s voice had risen an octave and he looked nervously at Trini before soldiering on, “the best looking girl in the school. She wasn’t this wiry, thin, string bean of a girl anymore and none of her friends or Ty liked that.” His cheeks were red. 

Giving him a dirty look that she only half-heartedly meant, Trini nodded at him to go on. She couldn’t really fault him for speaking the truth. 

“She was taller, had a great summer tan, was in really good shape and she came back from break a little heavier… I mean, not that it didn’t look good! It did! But, uh, Ty hated it. He thought she looked fat and so did Amanda. God, they were so fucking mean to her about it.” He rubbed at his face. “Now that I understand more about body weight and muscle, she was probably the perfect weight for her height.” He looked sad for a moment. “Healthy.”

“Yeah, I remember. They watched her at lunch, monitored what she ate,” Trini growled. 

“Right. She walked in and stole all the attention without any effort. I’d never seen an angrier bunch of girls, especially Harper. Kim stole her spotlight in seconds and she couldn’t handle it.” 

“Yeah.”

“Then Harper was constantly calling her ‘fat’ and ‘lardass’. I’d broken up with Casey by then but we still talked. She told me Harper ran a lot of laps over those names.”

“Good! The fucking bitch.”

“After that, Kim just kept climbing up the ladder until what happened this year happened. I mean, she managed to power through it all and became the Queen of them all.” Despite himself, Jason sounded impressed. Maybe to him, that was impressive but it only made Trini sad. Each unkind word had chipped away a piece of Kim and now they had to find what was left of them to glue back together the teen’s confidence and self-worth. Meanwhile, Kim was walking around hurt and lonely from it all.

“Queen of the damned. Whoop-pee,” Trini said sarcastically. 

“You know, it wasn’t always a horrible experience,” Jason said, a little insulted. “There were a lot of fun times with some really nice, fun people.”

“Then why do I only hear bad stories?” Trini asked pointedly. 

“You don’t talk to me enough,” he insisted.

“Fine, but your experience and Kim’s were totally different even if you were in the same circle.”

Reluctantly, Jason had to agree with that. “Yeah. You’re right. Still, it wasn’t all bad. But, you’re right, that’s me.”

“Yeah. It didn’t seem like they ever let up on her, even when she was ‘in charge’.”

“Nah, they didn’t. That’s the way things in that group are, though. But yeah, even after she lost the weight Ty wanted her to, he always had something to bitch about.”

“There’s another thing I don’t understand; Ty Fleming. Why was she with him and for so long?”

Jason shook his head. “You’ll have to ask her cuz I have no idea on either. He’s a prick to everyone and he’s not half as good as he thinks he is. At anything.” Jason’s voice was annoyed. It made Trini smile. 

“He bitched about her a lot?”

“God,” Jason groaned, “he bitched about everything. There was always something and don’t get me wrong, I get that relationships aren’t always great but he was just impossible. She was at every game, pep rally, every party- she made the effort, right? But he never shut up. I asked him once if he wanted to date Kim or his mother since it was how he acted. He hit me.”

Trini burst out laughing. “You did not!”

“I did! He hits like a bitch, too,” Jason laughed. “But I’m serious, he was looking for someone to take care of him or something. ‘Kim won’t pay for my car repairs. Kim won’t buy gas. Kim won’t loan me money. Kim won’t let me stay the night when her parents are away. Kim won’t do my laundry. Kim won’t do my homework for me. Kim won’t consider a threesome’.”

Trini’s eyebrows hit her hairline a second before Jason seemed to realize what he said. His blush from earlier returned and caused him to turn a shade of red dangerously close to his Ranger armor. The smaller teen knew her own cheeks were flushed but blamed it on the wind coming off the water.

“I mean, she’s not perfect but she wasn’t there to like, pay for him, you know?” Jason went on. “They fought a lot and she was unreasonable sometimes but he was just… God, he’s a dick.”

Deciding to let the ‘unreasonable’ comment go because she’d seen that behavior from Kim herself, Trini considered this new information. 

“I gotta give Kim’s credit, though, I woulda lost it long before she finally snapped,” Jason muttered. He met Trini’s stormy eyes with his blue. “I would’ve snapped for a whole hell of a lot less too.”

“If you were so bothered by it, why not step in?” Trini challenged.

For a moment, Jason flinched. It was a fair question; why hadn’t he? But, he knew the answer. “I wasn’t gonna risk my spot in that group, Trini. You know who I was then,” he said honestly. There was a clear note of shame in his voice. “That was all I had, all I thought I was. We’re all learning and growing from who we were at the start of this school year. That’s not me anymore.”

Trini frowned. “I saw what was going on too and did nothing. I’m not any better.”

“What could we have done, tho?” Jason asked. “Whatever we tried would’ve likely made things worse for all of us.”

“That’s not a reason not to try,” Trini countered, upset with them both. “We were cowards.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Jason agreed, dropping his head back. “This helping any?”

“What? The fish thing or the Kim thing?”

“Either? Both?”

The Latina sighed heavily. “I dunno. About either. I don’t feel like I’m going to throw up and I’m not covered in a cold sweat. So that’s good. But I already knew most of this about Kim. I guess I’m not doing a good job explaining what I wanna know or don’t understand.”

“Nah, it’s cool. We’ll figure it out,” Jason reassured her. “And no barfing or cold sweats are great. I’ll call that a win. We’re not gonna beat it in a day but you’re off to a good start, I think.”

Trini had to smile at that. “True.”

“What happens when you try to talk to Kim about this stuff?” 

“What happens when you poke a bear with a sharp stick?” Trini grumbled. 

Jason let out a bark of laughter. “It roars and attacks?” 

“Roars and retreats in Kim’s case,” Trini corrected him. “She tells me to back off and shuts down on me. I mean, you can feel what she does to her end of the Ranger link. Imagine her doing that to your face.” She couldn’t help the small, lopsided smile. “Except sometimes she’s really polite about it. Not so much this time, though. She’s really, really pissed and she let me know it.”

“Ouch. Yeah, it feels it.”

“Do you know if it’s normal? For her, I mean? The whole going silent and shutting everyone out? I know she’s put up with a lot of bullshit from Amanda and all of them without losing it but is this blankness or whatever it is, is it Kim’s normal or should I be worried about something?”

Jason’s face scrunched as he thought. “She’s… I dunno. It might be normal, I think? She’s Kim, you know what I mean?”

“No, that’s the problem.”

“Ah. I see. I think.” 

“You’ve said it twice though; Kim being Kim. What is that? What does that even mean? I just… I want to understand that- Kim being Kim. Well, how is she being Kim? What’s her normal? Is  _ this  _ her normal? It’s like, yeah, I spend a lot of time with her but all I have to compare it with is two months ago.”

“Compare what with?” Jason wondered, intrigued. 

“Things she says, things she does. There are things that strike me as, I dunno, off? I guess.” She shot Jason a dark look. “You promised. Not a word to her.”

The tall teen put his hands up. “I promised but now I want to know more.”

“I’m not telling you much more,” Trini warned. “You’re supposed to be talking to me about what you know, not vice versa.”

Jason sighed. This was the most Trini had ever talked in one go with him and he didn’t want to disappoint her but he didn’t want to send her on a wild goose chase or mislead her either.

Tapping the wrench against his chin for a moment before he started working on the motor again, Jason thought. He tried to consider the bigger picture and moved away from their mutual clique to other things. 

“OK, uhm, let’s see, if I think about it and compare it to how she is as a… you know,” he said, hinting at Kim’s Pink Ranger persona, “she hasn’t changed all that much. In the middle of things, not always on purpose but there anyway, maybe not leading things but usually the first to do something…” he stopped to find the best word. A word that wouldn’t alarm Trini in any way.

“Stupid?” Trini suggested, following his line of thought. The image of her best friend diving head-first off her Zord into the ocean during a hellish storm played inside her mind.

“New, or risky,” Jason tried for more diplomatic terms. “Like… Sometimes it was stupid stuff like who went in first into Fright at the Fortress, the huge haunted house at Halloween that scares the shit out of everyone every year. She was fearless about that. And she nearly always won games of chicken on bikes or against cars, she’d flip out of the way. She was out climbing the cliffs at the mines even before she had powers…”

“Ug, dumbass,” Trini grumbled. Jason gave her a half-smile.

“That’s why she was the one that went up for throws in cheerleading. She wasn’t the smallest but she was the lightest and could get the complicated moves done in the air because she took the most chances.”

“And had the gymnastics training,” Trini cut in.

Jason shrugged. “That too. I’m just saying it’s nothing new. She’s done even riskier stuff like jumping into Lane’s Quarry out on Rt 5 before they drained it. There was Kim, hitting the water before we finished daring each other, meanwhile, we’ve got no idea how shallow the water is. Half of us thought she was dead before she came back up. She told us that was the fastest way to check if it was deep enough. If not, she’d float to the surface and we’d know.”

A horrified look passed over Trini’s face. 

“Yeah,” Jason agreed with her facial expression. “I was there that day; we were all screaming at her for scaring the shit out of us. I mean, Casey sometimes wondered if Kim had no fear or if she just didn’t care what happened to her.”

“So, the same as she is now?” Trini said bitterly. Somehow, this news didn’t surprise her. She’d hoped that she was wrong and was reading too far into Kim’s words and actions but it was looking more and more like she wasn’t. It was really starting to look like she had a legitimate reason to worry about her best friend’s mental health and safety.

“Pretty much now that I think about it,” Jason confirmed. He looked disturbed as well.

“Crap,” Trini swore. Jason grunted his agreement. 

“That help any?”

“I dunno,” Trini groaned. “It means she hasn’t really changed but it’s not really good news either. If anything, all this,” she tapped at her watch communicator, “has just made her take even bigger chances. Fuck.” 

“I dunno. She’s always taking big chances. I mean, the night we all met up I caught her at this little cliff spot doing a backward dive into the water. It was pitch black up behind the mines but she was there with just a little radio, diving. Alone. It was pretty ballsy.”

_ Or stupid! _ Trini’s mind screamed at her. All the things that could have happened to Kim alone out behind the mines flashed through the Yellow Ranger’s mind. Drowning, hitting her head and not being found for days, abduction- her imagination came up with a number of horrible fates that could have but didn’t befall Kim in her lonesome diving adventure. 

“Shit, it was so dark and she was under for so long that I started to strip down to jump in and save her,” Jason snickered. “Ha, save Kim. What was I thinking?” 

_ The right thing! _

“That explains why she was wet,” Trini remarked absently. It was a weird thing to remember from that night but Kim’s wet hair dripping onto her as they picked up the coins had stuck with her.

Thinking of it didn’t make her shiver.

“I know this is a longshot but have you tried talking to her parents?” The loud snort of derision that came from Trini made Jason jump. “Ok, bad idea?”

“God, that’s a whole other problem… two of them if not more,” Trini sneered. 

“That bad?” the lead Ranger asked, concerned. “I never got any vibe like she was being abused or anything. You know, aside from the day they yelled at her in the parking lot about her haircut. Not that I see them that much.”

_ I’m surprised you saw them that day. _ “Nah, it’s not like that,” Trini admitted since it wasn’t. “And that’s her business but let’s just say they’re not an option. I’d probably have an easier time getting a hold of Rita.”

“Ah.”

“Besides which, nothing I’m asking you is anything I think they’d know,” she shrugged. “They’re not exactly involved, you know?”

“Yeah, I never see them around much but I always figured they were busy,” Jason said as he put the cover back on the motor. “I know they’re doctors of some sort and that they do a lot of work for overseas charities but that’s about it. What are they like?”

“Huh?” Trini stammered.

“You had to have met them by now,” Jason said, surprised. “You’re over there all the time. What are they like?” 

“What do you mean?” she asked, trying hard not to get overly defensive.

“You know, who are they and how did they raise Kim to just be so… fearless? I guess?”

“Fearless or careless, Jason,” Trini countered. “Or just plain stupid? Did they raise her to be fearless or did they put so little effort into it that she doesn’t give a shit if she lives or dies?”

Jason made a face of disgust. “No one raises their kid like that. And Kim gives a shit.”

“No one should but some people suck and should have never had kids.”  _ And I have my doubts sometimes about how much Kim does or doesn’t care. _

“Do the Harts suck?” Jason asked darkly, the pieces beginning to form a picture he didn’t like.

“Yes. No. Wait… Fuck, it’s complicated,” Trini sighed. “I’m not going into it. That’s Kim’s business,” she repeated.

“I get it,” Jason said, understanding. “Even if I don’t like it. Man, everything’s been complicated since that night.”

“No shit.”

Running a hand through his hair, Jason left a streak of grease in it. It made a small patch stand up. “Yeah, that was a weird night, not even counting the coins.”

Grateful for a small break in the heavy conversation, Trini tilted her head. “Ya, why were you out there?” She only heard the story from Billy’s side. “Wasn’t really somewhere you hung out.”

“Did you?”

“Yeah, I meditated on the rocks like I do now. That’s how I knew Zack or knew of him. The creeper used to watch me from the train cars like he thought I didn’t know he was there.” She rolled her eyes. “I saw you drive up in Billy’s van and tried to keep outta view until you blew everything up.”

“I was talking to Kim when Billy blew the mine up,” Jason explained. “I met Billy in detention when some kid was bothering him. Then he said he could trick my tracking bracelet if I drove him somewhere. I didn’t know about the explosives until we got there.”

“I never noticed Kim was out here…”

“That spot of hers was really well hidden up through the trees, way out behind where we found the coins. I wouldn’t have found it if I wasn’t following the sound of the radio. It’s obviously her secret hiding place. She wasn’t happy to see me in it.”

“No?”

“No. She was in a pretty rotten mood, actually. That night.”

Kim saying  _ “We’re not gonna make it” _ in a flat emotionless voice as they tried to outrun the train echoed through Trini’s head. She had to shake it to clear it.

“Yeah, I remember,” she nearly snapped. “I don’t think any of us were feeling that great after you set off the freaking alarm.”

“Yeah, but even before that,” Jason went on. “That night, she said she wanted to leave Angel Grove. Any way that she could. Go anywhere. She didn’t care. She figured she had nothing here and no one would miss her.”

Trini felt her eyes widen as a cold weight dropped into her stomach. “Wait, what? She wanted to what?”

“Leave Angel Grove,” Jason said nonchalantly. “I mean, I kinda dared her to, too.” Trini glared at him. “C’mon, can you blame her? All the stuff with Ty and Amanda had basically just happened. She’d just been thrown from the cheerleading squad, knocked out Ty’s tooth, gotten detention, and all that. Then, she’d gotten yelled at for cutting her hair. She had to be feeling pretty shitty so,” he shrugged, “I agreed with her. We talked about leaving in Billy’s van right before his explosives went off. It was pretty tempting, not gonna lie.”

“Ugg…” Trini groaned.  _ The rabbit hole keeps getting deeper…  _ “That doesn’t make me feel better.”

“I didn’t think it would. I’m just trying to explain what I mean by Kim’s Kim. I guess she’s always been a bit of a risk-taker, a little less cautious than the next person,” he tightened the last bolt on what he was doing. “And always with one foot out the door.”

“The same, basically?” Trini said distastefully, almost wishing she hadn’t asked. Now that she had a slightly bigger picture, she knew she didn’t like what she saw. If Kim had been displaying reckless behavior for this long then it indicated a pattern, a behavior that wasn’t new and that could be a sign of a bigger problem.

A problem that might be bigger than Trini could handle.

_ I think we’re past the point of it being a ‘sign’ of anything _ , her mind pointed out. 

That meant that along with Kim’s bad days and things like this, Trini had her proof that her best friend likely had some sort of mental illness. Well, as close to proof as she could get without outright asking. This and Kim’s admission in the letter with her refusal to return to therapy. Gratefully, this discussion with Jason was providing Trini with context and a wider experience to draw from for information. It would still be better if she could sit down and talk this out with Kim but she didn’t see that being possible any time soon.

“Hmmm, she probably takes a few more risks now that she’s… er… more durable.”

“That’s part of my problem,” Trini griped. “She takes too many risks. That diving off her… you know, bird… into the water was not cool.” She frowned. “Ok, it  _ was  _ cool but you know what I mean! There was a safer way to do it is all.”

“I agree,” Jason nodded.

“And sometimes she says things that I…”

“Yeah but, with that, that’s always been the way that she talks,” he tried to reassure her. “Since day one, really. She’s got a dark sense of humor.”

“There’s dark and then there’s sliding into suicidal, Jace.”

The former football player pulled back in surprise. “She’s not  _ that  _ dark, Trini,” he scoffed immediately in denial. “Sure, she says some stuff and can’t take a compliment to save her life but anything else?” he blew air out through his teeth. “Nah, I don’t think she means anything deeper by it. Even that night, she just wanted to escape Angel Grove, not like, die.”

For a moment, anger flushed through Trini at his response. She wanted to shake him and scream at him to open his eyes and look at Kim when she says ‘those things’. How he couldn’t see or at least feel the despair that rolled off the brunette in waves at times was confusing to her. Then again, no one else seemed to know what was going on in the older girl’s life either until Trini came along and interrupted it. Maybe it was because she spent so much time close to Kim that she noticed it at all. 

It took a few deep breaths but she managed to get control of her temper. Getting angry at Jason wouldn’t help Kim especially when he wasn’t around the Pink Ranger enough to hear all the things she said or understand that context of her life in the same way that Trini could.

“Have you ever thought maybe she does and we’re just not hearing her?” she redirected instead. Insulting or making Jason defensive wasn’t the answer either, not after he was being so helpful.

He thought about that for a minute.“ Not really? I mean, I hope that’s not it.”

“You hope?” Trini deadpanned, unimpressed.

“Yeah. I agree that maybe she needs to be more careful or less reckless but I don’t think she’s a danger to herself.”

“You can’t have it both ways, Jason,” Trini countered, exasperated. For a few minutes, it seemed like Jason was hearing her but now it was like he didn't want to hear his friend might need help. “I’m tired. We’re done.” She took off her gloves and handed them back to him. 

“T, wait.” he put his hand on her shoulder to stop her from taking off. “I’m sorry. I’m listening, I swear.”

Trini gave him a doubtful look. 

“Maybe… maybe I’m just too used to how she is that I can’t see anything different, you know? So I’m not gonna say you’re wrong. I don’t wanna just dismiss this.”

“Ok,” Trini said, relaxing slightly from her annoyed stance. 

“And you’re way closer to her than I’ve ever been. You’re seeing and hearing stuff I’m not,” her friend acquiesced. “ How about this: you keep an eye on her and if she gets worse or says or does something that really alarms you, come back to me and we’ll work together to help her.”

Trini nodded. It wasn’t great but it was something. And now someone else knew without knowing too much that there might be something there to deal with, as a team. As a family. 

“OK, I can work with that.”

Jason opened his mouth to speak and then shut it, a troubled look on his face.

“What is it?” Trini asked, wanting to try and be there for him the way he was for her that afternoon.

“Don’t get mad, ok? But,” he bit his lip, “do you really think the Coins would pick someone who was… you know?” He couldn’t say it but his facial expression said it for him. 

“I dunno. I really don’t. But if they look at the inner character, stuff we can’t see they might, I dunno, overlook it? Maybe? Especially if whatever’s wrong can be dealt with.” She let out a long, heavy sigh. “I really… I don’t wanna lose her.” 

The honesty hurt her to admit and her voice had grown small by the time she finished. Jason drew her into a one-armed hug she fought for a moment before letting him have. 

“You won’t,” he assured her. “We’ll help her. Neither of you is alone in this. Not anymore.” He released her and ignored the way she wiped at her eyes with her sleeve. “I’ll finish up here. Take this and get dinner or buy her some donuts or something.” He gave her the two $50s his Dad promised for the work. “Now, get off my boat before you throw up on my shoes. Today’s exposure therapy is over. Good job.”

“Oh yeah? I get a gold star?” Trini joked.

“A silver star,” Jason let her down easy.

“Only silver? C’mon man! It seriously smells terrible out here.”

“Yeah? Well, you’ve been a couple of different shades of green since you got here. You lost points for that.” 

“Hard-ass,” Trini punched him in the arm and hopped back onto the dock. She gave him a two-finger salute. “Later, Big Boss Man.”

“Ew, don’t call me that!”


End file.
